Help, my daughter's throwing away her sandwiches at school!?

Question

Ok, this really shouldn't be a bid deal...but it is. My daughter's teacher emailed me today stating that my daughter has been throwing away her sandwiches. When asked why, she says she doesnt like them, and even told her teacher she always throws them away.
My daughter is in 3rd grade and for the longest time she has been very very picky. Her pickiness has been quite a challenge over the years. I have asked my daughter on MANY occassions is she eating her sandwiches and she tells me "yes" with a straight face. Now, I know why she's always hungry when she gets home.
She tells me she prefers bologna sandwiches, but that was exactly what she threw away! She doesnt care for PB&J sandwiches....I have to force her to eat grilled cheese. I dont want to send her to school with crackers and cut up lunchmeat, that would always make its way back home also.
Does anyone have any suggestions? My daughter needs to gain 5 lbs, reccommended by the Dr.

Answer 1

I always did the same crap because when you put them in plastic baggies, they get wet if the sandwiches are hot (when they are put in), or, they get smashed. What you can do, is tell your teacher to not let her out to recess unless she finishes a certain amount (half is at least fine, but make sure you add some other stuff in there, like crackers and carrots and crap), and even the students, because my friends held me down to stop me from throwing it away (and im not anarexic, i just didn't like em, AKA my first sentance of this message). Shes young, so she will appreciate eating her lunch to play with her friends. If she doesn't care that she doesn't eat, tell her that she will be grounded. Just keep on thinking of consequences. If you don't, then she will just keep on throwing it away, or even sneaking it. She might be asking to go to the bathroom (this can be at home or school), but she takes it and flushes it. And if she doesn't care that shes grounded, say something like "you will die" or "your eyeballs will dissolve and it will hurt alot". And if she still doesn't... i can't help you there lady.

Answer 2

Try not to make it a battle about her weight. When I was her age, my mom sat me down with pamphlets on anorexia. I've always been thin, and in high school I would have some of the meaner girls tell me I looked anorexic. Thinking that my mom agreed really didn't help my self image. I honestly just wasn't hungry most of the time! But you said she comes home hungry, so that may not be the case.

I agree with a lot of the people on here who recommend letting her help pack her own lunch. At least then she can't tell you she doesn't like it. Or you might ask the teacher what her friends eat - if they all eat the hot lunch served at school, maybe that's what she'd prefer.

I'd also ask the teacher to help you keep tabs on whether or not she is eating. I don't know that I would punish her for not eating lunch though, because that may just turn it into an even bigger battle of wills.

Good luck, hopefully it's a phase that she'll grow out of soon.

Answer 3

I would suggest packing her lunch with an alternative to sandwiches. My 10 year old has never really eaten her school lunch sandwiches - ever. So I'll often pack instead other things - some that have worked for me are cold pasta - if you have pasta the night before, then save some and put it in a plastic container and the same works for fried rice. A little tin of tuna or salmon with some crackers, lavash bread as an alternative to regular bread, quiche or little egg & bacon tarts made with puff pastry, savoury muffins, cold pizza (with healthy toppings - preferably made at home), even a hard boiled egg! If this sounds like a lot of bother to you then I can assure you it isn't. Putting left--over pasta or rice into a container is heaps easier than making sandwiches and if she'll eat it then that's great! Plus, if she needs to gain some lbs then these are perhaps healthier than a sandwich anyway. Another thing to do is put the ingredients in a tub without the bread - say some cold meat with a bit of salad. You just have to remember to always pack a fork though, I often forget to do that!

Answer 4

The fact that she tells you she prefers bologna sandwiches then throws them away and lies about it suggest that this may be more then picky eating. Is there anything you her or family is going through or has gone through that would be emotionally disruptive? The reason I ask is because children when dealing with difficulty, or feel like they have no control over their lives tend to take begin to control what they can. Eating is one of them. I 've seen many children use this behaviour and at first it seems innocent, then it becomes psychologicly addictive. Another thing that concerns me is she needs to gain 5 lbs. Most third grade children are not under weight. Please contact a psychologist, therapist, Dr, someone that can sit and speak to your child and see if this is an emotional issue. Also, let her make and pack her lunches, even if it is something you would not chosen for her, let her gain some control and responsibility and by packing what she wants, if it is not emotinal, she will be more likely to eat it. Also alert the lunch room attendent to monitor her closely. Do not approach her and quiz her out, she will only isolate you, let a proffesional do this. God Bless you and good luck.

Answer 5

Some other girls might have told her she looked fat, or the "popular girls" might think she's a "baby" for bringing a lunch from home. I know that sounds silly, but it happened to my daughters' when they were school aged, and I just was beside myself! DO NOT however, ever force a child to eat. That is the fastest way for her to develop a real eating disorder because she will feel she's not in control of her own body. I would however, sit her down and have a heart to heart about why she feels she needs to lie to you about something like that. Do what I did and get her involved in some athletic activities outside of school, where they actually will teach the girls to have strong bodies. Once her self esteem is built up enough, she won't care what other people say about her, because she'll know it's not true. It's the lying that should be punished, as well as the wasting of good food and your time preparing it. Never make food a big issue especially with girls.

Answer 6

Well I wouldn't worry about her gaining weight or eating more, no matter what the doctor says. Each person has their own body and metabolism. The bigger deal you make out of food, the more you will have problems with it. I had a friend had a kid that wouldn't eat. Some days he would have 2 bites of only one of his meals. He wouldn't eat at all hardly. My girlfriend shrugged her shoulders and said he woudln't die.. any living thing will instinctively eat enough to live and she wasnt' making a big deal out of it, beacuse then to him.. food and eating would become this huge battle and possbily give him a complex. Then things changed... he started eating like crazy for a couple of days.. then he would revert back to almost nothing. She just let him be and now he is 10 and eats all the time.. very skinny boy.. but healthy and a very relaxed, easy going child.

I would crack down on the lying and throwing food out though... that to me would not be allowed.

Answer 7

The only sure thing you can do is get extra calories into her at home. Make her a big breakfast. Put less in her lunch if you think she will throw it away. Dinner to is a good time to see she eats too and since she is under weight a snack before bed time would not hurt her either. There is nothing else you can do about not eating at school. All children tell their parents what they think they want them to say. If you do not worry about her eating lunch at school so much she is more likely to tell you if she ate it or not.

Answer 8

Maybe kids at school are making fun of her lunch. (you never know these days) something like lunchables, they have lots of different varieties and they include a juice and a snack and most kids enjoy them. Or try to hive her more of a variety in her lunch. Try turkey with mayo and cheese or ham. If she doesnt care for bologna or grilled cheese. If none of this works ask your daughter "hy she isnt eating her food?" Or "what is it about the sandwich she doesnt like" Hope this helps, hope she starts eating better for you.

Answer 9

My kids had to pack their own lunch after I found out they weren't eating their sandwiches (that I so lovingly prepared.) This does involve some creativity to make sure they're eating the right things. My youngest likes apple cut up with peanut butter for dipping, muffins, cucmber, carrots, bell pepper w/dressing for dipping, pepperoni or lunch meat, cheese sticks, cheerios or cereal in a bag,...you get the idea. Whatever she doesnt eat at lunch comes home and she eats for snack. Since she's helped pack it, there's no fuss. Once in a while I sneak in a hershey kiss or one cookie for a treat. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Ok, I have a kid who used to be on a feeding tube he was so picky. For years! If she likes strong flavors, try pepperoni, sausage patties, etc. with flavored crackers. Mild flavors? A tortilla with mozzarella cheese in the middle with some apple slices on the side. Get cookie cutters and make things into fun shapes. Provide dip if she likes to dip: ranch dressing is easy. For weight gain: add butter, olive oil, and/or sugar to what she DOES eat. Read labels to get the highest-calorie option. It adds up. Will she drink Carnation instant breakfast? Almost as good as Pediasure and reasonably priced. Bananas and avocados are super high-fat. Pudding!