Next week I am having my birthday party. My family is very small, my mom, granny, myself, and very few cousins. Every year my granny pulls this same stunt of wanting me to personally call her and invite her, or send her an invitation in the mail. She is included on EVERYTHING we do, whether she is invited or not. And my mom is throwing me a nice little family dinner party. I'm pretty disgusted AS USUAL because she should know she's invited and not play poor me, invite me formally will ya? I just do not think I should have to waste a stamp or call. She also lives down the street from the place and expects us to 1. pick her up and take her, and 2. pay for everything. We always do pay for everything.. I've talked to my mom and her about it. And the attitude from my granny is once again, poor me. If you dont invite me personally, instead of having the party thrower do it.. then I don't come. She gets upset. What should I do?
2007-03-14 13:03:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
She has a history of complicating birthdays for people. Whether it is from them not going to the place she wants to eat for their birthday, or this. And I don't feel like I have to do this for mine.
2007-03-14 13:04:14 · update #1
Let her. Just let her play poor me, she isn't a little kid. Sounds to me that she feels left out of everything, but by the way you described she seems to be involved in everything. So let her 'leave her self out' if that makes since. Good luck & I'm not trying to be mean, if I was, I'd of said "Use the 'Retirement Home' threat.
Deuteronomy
2007-03-14 13:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by Deuteronomy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As we get older we become very ego centric just like small children. Since you don't have a large family you probably don't want to tick off the ones that you do have. It is nice to feel wanted. Does she have others that make her feel special? If not, then she is using you. :)
Give her a call. It will take two seconds. You can even say something like, "Granny, here is your special call making sure you are at my birthday dinner." You are getting the point across that you are going out of your way for her.
Is she financially able to pay for herself? Maybe she feels that if she is invited that it is guaranteed someone else will pay.
Don't sweat the small stuff...it could be a lot worse. SD
2007-03-14 20:10:29 · answer #2 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Granny is probably old enough to remember the days when good manners meant sending an invitation.
Spending a stamp on your Granny is not a great waste. Get over it.
Make an effort for her. You'll be old too, some day.
2007-03-14 21:10:31 · answer #3 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give anything to pick up the phone and call my Grandmother. She passed away a little over a year ago. Your Granny won't be around forever, either. Don't be so selfish, it's a simple thing to do. Make your Granny feel wanted. One day you will be glad you did!
2007-03-14 20:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by Candace A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with yourself...do you really want granny there to celebrate your birthday?
If so, this shouldn't be an issue. Just do what it takes to get her there and love and accept her for the good and bad.
Otherwise..leave her at home and don't mention the party to her, or just be honest that you don't want her to ruin your day.
2007-03-14 20:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by I Know, I Know 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comply with her desires, because if you don't you'll spend your entire birthday celebration wondering what she's going to say or do. Invite her by mail, e-mail and phone. Pick her up, and put her in a good seat at the table.
Give her as much pleasure as you can. Give her nothing to complain of.
It will keep your mind off how unhappy you are.
2007-03-14 20:11:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The party thrower should call her? She just wants a little attention - believe me I have been there. If she wants to be there, she'll find a way whether it be someone picking her up or her finding her own way there.
2007-03-14 22:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kabu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to burst your bubble but it's family and unless you want to be the blacksheep I would suggest making a very pretty invitation and slip it in her mail box(save a stamp if she lives that close.)
Good luck
2007-03-14 20:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by CarynB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor granny ! she definitely need a special call. She is old and may be lonely and looking for love. Who could love her better than her beloved grand kid. People tent to use more freedom to whom they love.And when you call her,make sure you sound like and you should, very excited to call her.
2007-03-14 20:20:41 · answer #9 · answered by sayeep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite her and enjoy the time you have w/ her. She will not be around forever.
It could be worst. I have an aunt whose SO would just spash on aftershave instead of bathing when going to family events.
2007-03-14 21:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋