This all started about 2 years ago. I met this really nice girl. Her family and one of my friend's family have known each other for years until my friend's family moved. She would still try and come down for few days once a year.
Anyway when she was down here once, I got to know here and we got on really well. So well, that one of my mates asked if there was anything going on and said a couple of other people had said the same thing. I said no and was surprised he'd asked. I was single, but I'd decided that best way to find love is to not to go looking for it, so that kind of thing wasn't on my mind when I was getting to know her. As time went on, we saw quite a lot of each other, not only was she coming down here more regular, I was also going up to see her. We went out to dinner, we went to the cinema, we went to parties (one of which I looked after her when she was drunk, the other she did the same for me, lol)......
2007-03-14 13:02:44 · 7 answers · asked by lonely_nice_guy_1976 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
....One night, we were waiting at the station, waiting for my train home, when I saw the right moment. I kissed her and she kissed me back! She said it caught her by surprise but she liked it. Needless to say I went home a very happy man! We saw each other a few more times and still had fun together, and we had a few more kisses but I didn't want to take it any further just yet. I'm not the kind of guy who's only after one thing, and by this time I was starting developing feelings for her. I decided to ask if I can take her out somewhere nice on Valentine's Day, and she said yes. I couldn't believe it, I never dreamed I'd get this lucky, so i went all out to make this a good night. I took her out to the west end in London, I had found a perfect Italian restaurant and there was a theatre nearby that was showing her favourite play. I had expected something to go wrong, but nothing did.....
2007-03-14 13:04:26 · update #1
....No problems getting there, the restaurant was great (great food, great atmosphere and not to busy), a pleasant walk through Covent Gardens, and the surprise on her face when she saw what we were seeing was priceless :) It was obvious she had a wonderful time and seeing her smile like that just pushed me over the edge and I fell in love with her. She said no one had ever done anything like that before and thanked me for making her feel so special. That night is, without a doubt, the happiest night of my life. But after that night she kinda changed, we didn't see each other as much and when we did she didn't seem as close. I told her one day about my feelings for her and she said it wouldn't work out, over time I got different excuses, including the "it's not you, it's me" line and the "you're going to fast" (ladies, did I go too fast? From meeting to Valentines was about 9 months or so)....
2007-03-14 13:05:18 · update #2
....She even said the friend who she original came down to see would get jealous, but when he said he didn't have a problem with it she just came out with another excuse. Back to the present day, we still see each other as friends. We haven't kissed since Valentine's, apart from one drunken night at a party. She's got a boyfriend and she's moved in with him and his three kids (so much for not wanting to go to fast). I still love her, but I know nothing will happen now, so I'm just trying to be a good friend. Sorry this is so long, tried to give as much detail so someone might see where I went wrong or if i just completely misread everything.
2007-03-14 13:05:36 · update #3
Sorry, got bored reading.
2007-03-14 13:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by Robb the B.D.C. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello dear,
I must say the only thing I found wrong with your story was the lack of a happy ending! It sounds like you did everything right..........but obviously you didn't. But that's not your fault so do not dwell on it. Are you sure........really........ that she didn't already have a boyfriend? After all, she seems to have moved in pretty quick after giving you the cool off! All your friends are going to say the same, have a break from it all, do not rush into another relationship and try to forget her. In fact, don't just try...!
You did well, be proud. you just met the right girl at the wrong time it seems. However, I would put it down to infatuation. The next girl you meet, involve your friends, keep the social circle...that way you can interpret body language and signals as she reacts with others. Does she flirt, would your mind be on other things knowing she, a flirt, is at home while you are at work. Of course you must not confuse an outgoing personality with flirtation...otherwise you would torment yourself knowing she had invited "a friend round" for no apparent reason and make a point of telling you all about it, as if to test your mettle, are you a jealous person? Some women unknowingly get a their kicks in behaving this way. We are a very complex and sometimes hurtful race you know.
Us girls have a knack of attracting sure enough, but often we love our independence more....have our cake AND eat it do you see dear? Very few women once having undergone a spell of isolation, independence, will open up and let someone upset their lifestyle. You may get the impression that they think highly of you, but the fact remains you will be stopping them flirting, stopping them being free and some women...ashamedly, know nothing else or find it hard to live a shared life because they can not believe that one man can give them all the love they need.
Be careful dear, I have encountered similar situations in my years as a counsellor, recently too. Both parties have to be prepared to give ....or there is little hope.
Regards Di
2007-03-14 13:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by allseeingdi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you can feel a close connection with someone without having any romantic feelings. I had a similar situation years ago were I really liked the guy as a friend but I could see he wanted more, I tried to go along with it as he was a wonderful person, he would do really special things like you have just described. Unfortunately the spark just wasn't there for me and eventually I could see how much he cared for me and knew he would never accept just friendship anymore. I gave him lots of lame excuses like your girl as I was sure if I just said out right " I have tried to have feelings for you but it's just not there" would have been worse for him. Do not blame yourself, as you know if the sparks not there it can't be forced, it just wasn't meant to be. I would like to say though, you sound like a fantastic Guy and some lady will be exceptionally lucky to be swept off her feet by you someday :)
2007-03-14 13:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsay H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! im soo sorry! this girl sounds like a cool friend.. but i cant believe she would do something like that to a guy like you (atleast you sounds SUPER sweet)
i think you should let her go.. send her a text sayin:
hey i was just htinkin about you and wanted to say hey
if she texts back talk tto her.. if not back off.. dont text her everyday.. let her text you.. and if she doesnt drop her another text in a week.. this will show her that you get the friend vibe.. but dont want to be copletely kicked out of her life
good luck!
email me for more advice if you want!
-jessie
2007-03-14 13:11:22 · answer #4 · answered by ♥jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you go too slow? I really hate the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' but maybe she doesn't think she deserves you. Her 'choice' speaks volumes. (its certainly not any easy option she's taken on) I could go on and on so I'm going to stop. There are too many people in the world not to find someone else you like as much - if not more
2007-03-18 10:02:42 · answer #5 · answered by pixie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you misread things - from what you've said it sounds like she just chose the other man and didn't want to hurt you because she liked you.
it's really sad that it happened that way but maybe she feels the other man needs her more (having children).
hope you find someone who deserves you, sounds like you're a lovely person x
2007-03-14 13:10:55 · answer #6 · answered by aria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't misread anything...she did go out...said she had a great time...even kissed you back...these are signs that things are going good...in my opinion you didn't read any of the signs wrong...she is just having um...issues for lack of a better word
2007-03-14 13:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋