ok so me and my bf were talking on the fone, but then that night it was kind of awkward and we didnt reli know wut to say to eachother and things were just so wierd. So then he suggested later on that we should take some time off from eachother as not talking on the fone or seeing eachother and etc. He says that this was a chance for me to decide whether or not im better with or without him as in experiencing bout 1 month as if we never met. He told me that he's worried that i might find someone better during this period of time, and will leave him for the new guy even though i doubt thats going to happen. I still love him & he's always on my mind like the sky always hovering over the earth. So im kinda puzzled becuz of the fact that he says he still loves me & that he still wants to be with me , but at the same time it seems like he wants to push me away? What should i do? please and thank you.
2007-03-14 13:02:24 · 17 answers · asked by jEsSnIcKeR`S ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well it does kinda feel like he's trying to push u away but it could also be a test for him. he wants to test himself along with u to see whether u two were meant to be. but i would suggest doing what he wants and remaining with him. i suggest not going with any guys to movies or dances or whatever. prove ur love to him and prove that u really care bout him. if he doesnt do the same then o well, it just wasnt meant to be. good luck! plz take my advice...plz do :)
2007-03-14 13:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by HL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that his problem has to do with being undecisive as to whether he really likes you or not.
Guys are typically only interested in putting a relationship on hold for two basically reasons: They are interested in seeking other relationships without the risk of their current relationship being jepordized, or they are confused about whether or not their current relationship is what they would really like out of a relationship or if they even want to be in a relationship. My guess is that he's just confused or scared to let the relationship progress.
Unfortunately for you, this is caused by something you are doing or not doing [you're either doing something too much, (such as smothering him), or you're not doing something enough(such as listening to him)]. Meaning that you had to have done something that lead up to this, but don't let that get you down.
The fortunate news is that you have a few options about what to do now:
1) You can fix whatever it is you're doing or not doing and come back to him sooner than his set 'one month' period. The problem with this is that you have little to no idea about what you've done, and it might be a little too much for him at this point to ask him what to do.
2) You could stay a casual friend with him, play his 'one month' game, be normal and uninterested in other relationships, and basically wait it out for him to come back. If my initial guess is correct in that he really is just confused about how things are going, he will eventually come back to you so long as he feels comfortable in a way that says 'it's the right thing'. Basically if he feels he can't get away with finding a better girl to replace you, and if he feels that you are a help and improvement to his life, then he will return to you.
3) You can blow him off completely, walk away from the relationship and go out looking for a new one, there are plenty of guys out there who can fulfill whatever needs you have. Sometimes there is no reason to stay in a relationship that adds excess ammounts of stress to you life. Plus if he knows you're not going to wait for him, his jealousy or whathaveyou may get the best of him and he'll try to win you over again.
I really can't make a decision for you, especially not knowing the specific details to your situation, so I hope that this has given you a little more insight to what's happening under the surface.
2007-03-14 20:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by DatingZion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comeing from a guy I say that maybe he trying to see another girl. Because theres know way a guy should want to spend time away from his girl unless he is seeing some one eles during the time period or maybe you croud him to much and he needs room. But u don't sound like u do that. THis is all I have for good luck and hope things work out.
2007-03-14 20:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judging by your spelling of certain words ("fone", "reli"), I'm guessing you're about 13-14. Assuming so, you're too young to be dedicating yourself to one boy, let alone thinking you love him. Have a blast hanging out with any boy you want to while you're young. There's plenty of time to settle down later in life.
Then again, I know how it is with puppy love, so if he is pushing you away, then he's not worth it and you really should take a break or just kick him to the curb.
2007-03-14 20:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by victoria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That bf that u "had" didn't love u else he wouldn't tell u to take some time off u 2 talking and seeing each other .He wants to move on, but he does want u to move on as well, no offense but u're just waisting u're precious time and brain power thinking about him.u should drop him like a hot potato. If he really loved u he wouldn't suggested u 2 to stop seeing and talking to each other over a awkward conversation over the phone.MOVE ON GIRLFRIEND
2007-03-14 20:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by Sham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you don't need a month you know you still want him. then i suggest the two of you try a we new things. I'm not talking about int eh romance section i mean if you two have never i don't know gone on a weekend road trip do so. spend a night cuddling and watching TV do nothing more then cuddle and a few small kisses. try and do new things or things you done be for in a new way.
2007-03-14 20:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by ~*These Blue Eyes Tell No Lies*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men feel the same way for example, ME! I almost lost a good relationship because I wanted to push this girl i liked away so that she can find someone better... IDK guys like me and your boyfriend have this thing in our head that says "we might not be worthy" which is odd if i and you really think about this... basically we love them so much that we would want the best for you/them. So i guess i'm not the only one that does that... HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH THAT HE'LL sacrifice his love, for YOU ... you feel me or get it so DON'T Be Puzzled HAVE a GOOD ONE ;)
2007-03-14 20:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by jaysonmgs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have felt this way and i think he may just be stressed!!! Something he might want to find out is if you arent around him all the time if maybe that would ease the stress on him. he probably just wants to see if he feels different w/o you, not a bad thing, he may just need to see a il less of you. It might be getting a lil overwhelming.
2007-03-14 20:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a party have alot of fun, get everything out of your system and go back to him. But that solution is probally not what your looking for lol!
So maybe you should meet up for coffee and talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel and try find out whats going on!?!
Take care, and I hope it all works out soon.
2007-03-14 20:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohhh wat he is doing is a good idea..... i did it once... i decided to take some time off completly coz i have streted to rely on that person sooo much dat i didnt know if i cud actually b single wen we break up.... the time off did us good, i hav realised that yeah i am still independent and strong and that if anything happens i can take control ...but also it made me realise if i want to stay with th person or not, in my case it wasnt long after we broke up .... it got a bit too much ,
2007-03-14 20:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by Doux 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋