I need advice to tell my daughter!!!?

Question

My daughter just turned 17 and she got a boyfriend about 8 months ago and has been with him every since. The other night i was talking to her and told her that she could talk to me about anything. She was talking to me about her boyfriend and how much she really thinks she loves him. She then told me that she wants to give her virginity to him. What should i tell her? I have always taught her that she shouldn't give her virginity away until she gets married. But she is really convinced that she loves him! HELP!!

Answer 1

Waiting until marriage is kind of last century. However, 17 is too young to begin having sex.

Explain to her the dangers of pregnancy, AIDS and other STDs. AIDS can be fatal and several STDs can leave her sterile without her even knowing she has one. Tell her you hope she decides to wait. Explain how even though her feelings are very real that she is not emotionally mature enough to become sexually involved.

If (most likely when not if) they break up, it will be much easier on her if the relationship is not sexual. If she decides to start having sex, please take her to the doctor and make sure she is protected against pregnancy and all of the diseases out there.

Answer 2

We would all prefer that our daughters wait til marriage. Oftentimes it doesn't work out that way. Pat yourself on the back Mom, for being close enough to your daughter and being trustworthy enough where she can open up about such feelings.
She was honest with you about something most girls cannot bring themselves to speak to their mothers about.

Stay as calm as you can and realize that she probably didn't come to this decision easily. Know that her feelings and desires are real.

Remind her gently, of the values you have taught her & tell her that you still believe in them. Thank her for coming to you and let her know that the final decision is hers.

It is important to discuss (again) the importance of birth control AND condoms (to prevent STD's). I would also pose some questions she should ask herself... such as how she might handle things IF the situation doesn't go as planned, as couples her age don't always stay together, even after sex... and about the consequenses (and resulting responsibilities, both hers AND his) of having premarital sex. Gently remind her that there's "no turning back" after giving her virginity away. Also, ask her what made her wait til now. These questions will make her think and help her make an informed decision.

Remind her that though you hope she would wait, you will ALWAYS be there for her to talk to without judgement, whatever she decides.

Don't forget to hug her & tell her she is loved very much. Blessings to both of you!

Answer 3

You cannot tell a 17 year old girl that she doesn't love him, just tell her that while she may love him, she's young and love at that age is nothing compared to love when you're older and more mature. I know no 17 year old girl wants to listen to her parents, I was there once too. But just remind her of all the reasons she doens't want to have sex yet and all of the wonderful reasons she should wait. And if you wnat, tell her that you got this advice from a 27 year old. I was a teenager once too, not all that long ago, and I wish I knew then all that I know now and I would've listened to my mom more.

Answer 4

i know how difficult this must be for you, but all i can say is, she's most likely going to do it no matter what you say, however the more open and honest you are, the more she will respect your input. Tell her to wait to see how the relationship goes along. She most likely does love him, you don't stay with a person that long if you don't. Point out the pros and cons of having sex at such a young age (and don't forget to actually point out the pros, but stress the cons). I wish you luck!

Answer 5

Maybe you could talk to her about STD's and how they are spred or about how unplanned pregnancy can change your life forever. Then offer to take her for birth control, and give her the opportunity to respond and be a part of a grown up conversation. Mostly I suggest that she volunteer at Big Brothers & Big Sisters!

Answer 6

well tell her it is a gift a special thing she cannot ever get back and know that it may not last is this worth it? get her on the pill no matte rhwat now as shes gonna do it .. no matter what .. tell her u dont want her pregant adn you cannot protect her against hurt either.. but all in all tell her if she thinks she has to wants to at least take her to get the pill .. and also get the hvp vaccine.. as well now.. she wants she will take.. just tell her you love her and dont want her hurt proceed delicately with caution we should have been so lucky to have moms like u ..

Answer 7

Christmas, the belief of it, any way, isn't approximately what you GET. this is all approximately what you provide. regardless of all of the affection that she has been given by ability of her father, she has did no longer understand and study that actuality. All that she has been doing in her life is GETTING that love and yet seems to no longer understood that she additionally has to offer love back. In so doing she has denied herself the main costly factor of all, self appreciate. this is on the industry to be penniless and nonetheless have your self appreciate. merely look at each and all of the infants in places like Haiti. they have no longer something, yet they have their own self appreciate. they're able to love themselves and thereby, lover those around them. the very desirable present you delivers her is the present of her own emotions of compassion. On Christmas morning, gown her up and your self too. Head into city and pass to the place the homeless are being fed Christmas dinner and volunteer the two your self AND her. permit her serve those very people who actual DO have decrease than her. permit her SEE them together with her very own eyes and notice merely how little many people extremely have. Then while your stint is over head homestead yet take the course in the process the main harsh ghetto you will locate. back permit her see what genuine deprivation extremely is. Then once you get homestead and easily then, pass forward and open your can provide. i'm specific a clean feeling of appreciation for the failings that SHE has will break of day interior her presently egocentric little head. and you, my chum could have given her the desirable present of all, her own emotions of compassion for her fellow occupants of this dreary little planet referred to as Earth. Brightest advantages, Raji the fairway Witch

Answer 8

If you think she is going to have sex with him bring her to a gynecologist for birth control. They can answer questions she might have about diseases and such things.
Waiting for marriage is a good idea but very rarely happens. It is better to be open to what she feels she wants to do and help her to do it the safest way possible.
Good Luck!

Answer 9

wow thats a toughy. well...maybe you should let her. i mean, protection on both her and her bf is key, and should ease some of the anxiety you have; i mean not everyone is going to follow that guideline of, you should wait until your married, either. but then again, 8 months really isnt that long to know for SURE, ya know? tell her to wait for when a year rolls around. things will definately be clearer then. i mean who knows, she could end up loving him even more than she does now, or in a week, he could mess up and she could hate him forever for it and feel horrible that she gave herself to him. best to wait for a year and then thats your judgement.

Answer 10

Be supportive. She will do it with or without your consent. Take her to the Dr and get her on the pill to make sure she doesn't give you any grand kids just yet. I know that this isn't going to be a popular answer, but it's better to be realistic and safe then wind up with her doing this behind your back, unprepared and get pregnant.