Why does he act this way?

Question

OK, so I have been seeing a guy that I work with for about 2 months or so. We spend time with each other a few times a week; However, I get the feeling like he still isn't really comfortable with me. For instance, when we spend time together out in public or with friends, he is fairly quiet. He doesn't ignore me, but doens't seem to be himself. On the other hand, when we're alone he laughs a little more, talks more, snuggles me, and is more affectionate. Now, I know that because we work together and we are trying to hide our relationship that he acts differently, but even still, it seems as though he has been hurt badly in the past and has never really recovered. Also, there is a significant age difference between us. I am 21 and he is 42. I know that makes him a little nervous as well, but he still continues to want to spend time with me... why does he act this way? I can't explain it well enough....

By the way, he isn't married. And yes, I am attracted to older men. Also, I don't feel that he hides the relationship we have, because people at work have been telling me "I think he likes you, etc." So, although he is trying to hide it to protect both of our jobs, he is not doing a good job at it.

Also, he has said that the reason he does like me is because I am not dramatic or jealous. He likes that I like to go out with him and have fun and party and am not afraid to voice my opinion.

Answer 1

dude.. your 21 and hes 42? thats nasty.

Answer 2

Watch out with the older ones. When I was 20 I dated a 33 year-old at my work. That was a disaster. He was the exact same way...very quiet around other and at work...alone...totally different. He became very obsessive (showing up at all hours of the night, etc) and finally got verbally abusive just for me TALKING to another guy (a customer, no less!) LOL, now I'm in a relationship where my bf (2 years older than me) is a big mouth in front of our friends and his coworkers, and a big mouth at home :) I am not one to say anything on the age issue, but just be careful and make sure he isn't after one thing...

Answer 3

Well, there's your answer, he's 42 and you are 21. He acts like a 42 year old would if he were dating a 21 year old. It's not something he wants to let the world know, understand? Sure he might like you a lot, but he still doesn't feel the need to make it real public. Nothing wrong with it .. but .. just the way things are i guess!

Answer 4

Your best bet is to ask him, but do it in a way that encourages him to respond. I must say though, I can't think of anyone who would look at this question and not wonder what is going on between a 21 year old and a 42 year old.

Good luck!

Answer 5

he likes you, and probably more for the sex and the points he scores with his buddies who know he's ---- a 21 year old. he's not serious, he respects you, but he's not really that much into you, because you're just too young for a serious relationship, and he's getting what he can and hoping you don't get too attached. I'm in his age bracket and believe me, I hear older guys all the time talking about what a pain in the *** it is to deal with a younger woman and all her emotional needs etc. Believe me, it's not because he's been seriously hurt in the past, that drama is for kids, not older adults.

Answer 6

Hes married

Answer 7

Maybe hes a little uncomfortable because of the age difference, and is trying to get around it. He probably has something on his mind thats bugging him aswell.

Answer 8

Wow. Well if you like dating older men. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you miss him. Do your parents know you are dating a man this old?

Answer 9

if he likes you he wouldnt be hiding your relationship ask him why he acts like that and if nothing changes find some one new

Answer 10

one thing about dating older men, you will never fully understand them, theyve lived alot more than you have no matter what way you put it.