ok so i have been in love with this guy for 15 years, he loves me too but we just never got a chance to be together. I got married almost 5 years ago and he just got married almost a year but we still want to be together...am i wrong for feeling this way?
2007-03-14 11:59:22 · 22 answers · asked by yayasmamma 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok then let me add this, i love my husband very much....i would NEVER cheat on him for any reason im just not that kind of girl. I do have 2 beautiful kids with him, but i love this other man for many reason and most of all is he my best friend....i dont want to break up his marriage and i dont want to break up mine but i just cant get rid of these feelings.
2007-03-14 12:22:35 · update #1
You can't help your feelings. You are not wrong as long as you do not act on them.
2007-03-14 12:02:47 · answer #1 · answered by tinkerbell_pixy24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,
If you 2 are serious enough about it. Both get the divorce, be fair to your current man, and the relationship works then it will all be worth it. Otherwise, you don't really love the one your with so, nothing to lose.
Get counseling if you want to keep the one your with. If you do want to stay married to your husband counseling Will help you get to the bottom your emotions and possible make your husband a better husband.
Keep in mind that the grass always looks greener on the other side and the way you feel for the other guy might just be a fantasy, and may not work in reality.
I know exactly how you feel, search your heart and follow it.
I have been in your shoes before and when push came to shove the other women was unreliable at best and I would just break my hart to leave my current wife. Once I explored my options (never cheated mind you) I realized how much I do love my wife and decided that it's not her that's making me unhappy it was me.
2007-03-14 19:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Eyerish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIMEOUT!!!! If you loved him then why did you marry someone else, and if he loved you then why did he marry someone else. You are both wrong. You should only have those feelings for your husband, think of the people you two will hurt if you don't realize that there is someone else in both of your lives that you love more. Why did you commit to your husband if you were in love with this other man? And if this other man loved you so much, why is he married to someone else. I think these are false feelings and i think you need to put a lot of thought into this be fore you go making a mistake that could ruin your life and many others. For 15 yrs you have loved him, then who did you marry?
2007-03-14 19:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by casady96 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can somewhat relate to your situation, the issue here is firstly think about why you never did get together, if you did would it have ruined what you had all those years. I think that is why I never. Real true caring friendships are so hard to find and sex ruins everything most of the time.
You chose to marry and so did he, Believe me it isn't always as real as you build it up to be once it is done. I am so happy nothing happend for me and I stayed true to my marriage because now I am over it completely and my wife and I are so happy. My wife and the friend I had are now great friends and we all go out and things are perfect!
2007-03-14 19:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by Murray 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, you feel how you feel.
The question is ... what are you going to do about it?
You need to decide if you want to be with your husband. Take some time to really think about this. If you want to stay with your hubby, then you should cut off all contact with your friend. If you don't want to be with your husband, then you should separate and get a divorce. You need to try and evaluate this totally separate from your feelings for the other guy. Then, wait a year before dating anyone else.
You don't want to leave your husband for this guy, you want to leave because you don't love him. And you really need to evaluate if you "love" the other guy or if you "love" the idea of him. There's a big difference. BTW, do you have kids? If so, you owe it to them to really give your marriage a shot.
Good luck, hon!
2007-03-14 19:14:17 · answer #5 · answered by Kristi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wrong for feeling that way a person can't help who they fall in love with. But since both of ya'll have mutual feelings then ask yourself this "is this feeling ya'll have worth compromising what ya'll got?" If so then go for it... I'm not talkin bout sneaking around like high school kids, get out of the relationships ya'll are in and do it the right way.
2007-03-14 19:06:40 · answer #6 · answered by ladydream67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant control what you feel.... You need some time to think. What do you feel for your husband? Why did you get married in the first place? Tell me more so I can help.
2007-03-14 19:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by chalebori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feelings really aren't right or wrong, BUT......I do believe you are experiencing the old "forbidden fruit" thang. If you guys really loved each other so desperately, you wouldn't have married anyone else. Deal with it like an adult in a comitted marriage.
2007-03-14 19:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by BOOBABY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so i have a boyfriend that i love dearly and we are thinking bout getting married but there is this other guy that i have no longer than my boyfriend and we both love one another but he is a lot older than me and he works out of state alot but anyway i don't think its wrong as long as nothin happens between the two of you and you guys stay loyal to your spouses.
2007-03-14 19:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by britbrat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but why would you marry someone if you still have feelings for another? That may lead to infidelity.
"You don't always get the dreamhouse but you get awfully close." Sometimes you just have to let things be and hopefully your feelings will subside.
2007-03-14 19:03:05 · answer #10 · answered by Tenorikuma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES you are . You are married now and you married the man because you love him .
2007-03-14 19:03:08 · answer #11 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋