ave been single now for 12months just wondering if a shouldnt say ive been in prison for att-murder and drug dealing am clean now and working any ideaes to get a lass!x
2007-03-14 11:36:19 · 30 answers · asked by james480468 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well just to let u guys know ave no been in for murder a was fighting and got done with attempt murder a got 4 yrs in prison 114 yrs ago and got a bit messed up on drugs while in there ave been back for petty things over the years a was with same lass for 14 yr but been apart 12months now ashe wantys back but a dont am working and off drugs now am looking for woman and a dont tell lies just wondering if thats why.9no psycologists answer plz!
2007-03-14 11:57:25 · update #1
Hey James ;) I've dated lots of guys who have been in prison.Even my very first boyfriend ended up in prison.To be honest I don't fancy hanging out with this kind of people anymore.Well,of course depends if I like someone too much,it doesn't bother me.I'm not a saint myself but I'm away from all these things a year now,if you know what I mean ;) Take care!
2007-03-15 11:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by Erina♣Liszt's Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been out? That makes a big difference.
What are you doing with your life now? That makes a big difference.
How do you contextualize that period of your life? Are you proud of it? Do you justify your actions? Where are you inside yourself with it all?
Don't hide it. If it were to come out later it could be the end of it. Maybe that's OK if it's just a fling but I don't know anyone who would appreciate it.
It is scary from both directions. If you have and are working this all through sincerely, you need to be with someone who is understanding about evolving through and rising above the past. You don't want to end up going down.
Consider being single for a while. Don't be too needy. It will come together for you in time. I know of a man convicted of murder in his youth. He did his time, got out, married, had a family and ended up working in a social work type of positon after he got more education.
He has stayed comlpetly out of trouble and is a respected member of his comunity. That is rare but obviously can happen. I have also met someone, not in for such serious stuff that ended up back in jail within a year.
If your clean, have addressed any anger issues, are clear on how all this unfolded then maybe date a little get to know the person as a friend socially, then find a way to talk about it that is natural and comfortable. In confidence.
Do your inner work as you go along, councilling spiritual or phylosophical stuff, you know. The stuff a lot of men think is silly but need to do desperatly!
Peace Romeo. Think positive.
2007-03-14 11:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women see criminals as weak...and even though you're supposedly reformed, humans are fallable. Women assume you will repeat past mistakes, because a great percentage of offenders do. Drugs are also a sign of weakness, and selling drugs is also an act of crime. Only it's not just yourself you're affecting with this crime, every person you ever sold drugs to is polluting this earth with their crime, which you gave them direct access to. I'm not saying you can't change, or that you havent already, but if you tell a woman your history and it is that colorful, she will cringe. Although, if you don't tell her and she finds out later, she will assume you kept it secret because you haven't changed a bit. It's a tough one. I wish we weren't all so judgemental, but we are.
2007-03-14 11:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself and be honest. If you lie then it will come back and any love that is found will be lost. No lying. And, yes, it would probably bother me until I knew the whole story and was convinced of your innocence or knew you were completely remorseful. Good luck to you and stay clean! Reality can be such a trip!
2007-03-14 11:42:03 · answer #4 · answered by isingmore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously - time is the key
girls need to know that you are definitely a different person - although you may be clean now, there is now long-term guarantee.....
maybe you could attend a volunteer thing - that's always a good place to get started and meet new people - it would be a great look on you for a woman to be convinced that you've changed
DON"T LIE
2007-03-14 11:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by Zuri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is a problem to most normal girls unless you have a really good story, especially for the murder part!
2007-03-14 11:40:21 · answer #6 · answered by laurie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy has changed and stopped doing the drugs then no it doesn't but if he stayed the same, it bothers some girls.
2007-03-14 11:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Is it a turn off? YES
2) Should you tell a girl that? YES! It's better to be honest and get her love the HONEST way instead of starting a relationship with lies.
2007-03-14 11:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nahh id at least wait till your honeymoon for the drug dealing stuff, take the att-murder to your grave. I know girls that will get in bed with a crack dealer, but a murderer well....probably not.
2007-03-14 11:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on whether you have turned your life around and learned from it. Most people have made poor decisions when they are young, myself included. If they have moved on and matured, then why not everyone should grow and learn from past mistakes. If you haven't I would not be bothered.
2007-03-14 11:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by *sexy mocha* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋