How can my elderly parents stay at home when they need 24/7 care and they're running out of $ to pay for it?

Question

There is no mortgage on their home. A mortgage would help for about 10-12 months if at 80% equity. I hate to send them to a nursing home, but that seems to be the only way our medicaid system works when the elderly are out of money. Any ideas????

Answer 1

I am sorry that find yourself in this tough situation, yet your parents are indeed very fortunate to have you involved in helping them. Being a family caregiver is a big job! The first step is to find resources that might help you "keep caring." Here are a few ideas for you.


You don't say exactly how old your parents are, however, if one is age 60 or over, the first stop for information about options for care is your local Area Agency on Aging. These organizations know how to listen to seniors and their family members and can provide guidance and advice about resources and possible solutions that may be of great help to your parents and to you as a caregiver. You can call 1-800-677-1116 toll free to find out the phone number of the Area Agency on Aging office serving the county where you live. When you call your Area Agency office, ask for the person who provides "Information and Assistance" or "Help for Family Caregivers." If you make this call, I am confident that you will find friendly and helpful people.

It may be possible that your parents may already be eligible for Medicaid. As you may already know,. Medicaid is insurance for the medically indigent and pays for medical and custodial care for people with disabilities. To be eligible for Medicaid, one has to meet rigorous financial requirements--your state welfare office determines this. Many older people who have disabling conditions are eligible.

When you talk with the folks at the Area Agency on Aging--or your local or state public benefit/welfare office, you should ask if your state has something called a "Medicaid waiver." If your state has a Medicaid program that covers individuals with disabilities and or frail elders, there may be funding to pay toward in-home care. State governments are coming to realize the importance of having in-home services--with the involvement and support of family caregivers--as an option in the funding of services needed by older Americans.

There are reverse mortgages that might be a tool to help your parents in this situation, however, this is a new area of financing and the disclosures and "points in extremely small print" may cause difficulties--so, be aware of this. Finding a attorney who specializes in public benefit or family law about your situation would be advisable. If you are very low income, there are attorneys with legal services that can provide help on a very low cost basis. Your Area Agency on Aging would know how to connect you with these professionals. If you are not low-income, find an attorney who has a good reputation in this specialized area.

If you call your local Area Agency on Aging and like the help that you receive, let your county elected officials know and tell your members of Congress. Area Agencies don't have big budgets--in fact appropriations for most services funded under the Older Americans Act have not increased significantly in 25 years! You will not be charged for the information you receive, however, any financial contribution you might make for the time and assistance devoted to your parents' situation would be very welcomed-- and would go toward helping more of your older friends and neighbors and their caregivers.

I truly hope this helps you and your parents somehow. Best wishes and good luck!

Answer 2

Unfortunately, no. This is the state of how we care for our elderly. Your parents have their home, free and clear, but they are going to have to spend down their assets in order to get the care they need and that will, as you know, entail them having to leave their home. There are programs where you can sell your house to a company that will not take possession until they are deceased, but you have to be careful and read the fine print with those. That would give you the money to care of them in their home, but then, of course, that money may run out before the end of their care - then they are stuck. It may be that there is an assisted care facility that will take them as a couple and they can stay together (be aware that many nursing homes separate couples - stupid but true,) Then, selling their home in order to pay for the assisted care may be the way to go. There are no good answers for you, no good options, unless the children and siblings can give the care or spare the money for the care which would allow them to stay in their own home.

I'm so sorry - this is heartbreaking.

Answer 3

I work with medicare patients and with a private duty home health care organization, in addition to keeping all my grandparents and parents at home. There are several options to save money or stretch it so it lasts longer. Many of our patients require 24 hour care and it gets very expensive. Most families find they can get by with 8 hours or less of hired help if the family members take turns caring for the parents. If you have siblings this is an option. Even having someone who can spend the night at their house saves quite a lot of money as compared to paying outside help. We managed to keep my family home this way. We'd pay for approximately 20 hours per week of outside help and the rest was covered by family members. My grandmother needed 24 hour care for 12 years before she died and we were able to keep her home this way.

There are also agencies that provide companionship and homemaker services and charge according to financial need. If your parents qualify for this they could receive several hours a week free of charge.

If they have an extra room in the home there is the option of exchanging room and board for care. A fit and active widow is usually a good candidate for a position such as this. Some college students are wonderful too and will provide great care in exchange for a place to stay.

There is seldom a need to pay anyone to care for parents 24/7. If you get creative you may find there are numerous options to help cut costs while keeping them home.

Best of luck to you and them.