I have been emotional, cranky, depressed, and sad lately. On top of it all, I have been incredibly insecure. I am chasing my boyfriend away. He is upset with me and I keep messing up. I say the wrong things, think the wrong things and he has done nothing to deserve this. He is wonderful. Every thing I have ever dreamed of. All my past relationships have been incredibly abusive. I love him so much and fear I will lose him. Please help.
2007-03-14 11:29:15 · 16 answers · asked by Andrea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound so much like me its not funny. We have been together for 3 years and it still seems that i am pushing him away some times. I sat down and thought about why i did it and i came up with these reasons which might apply to you too:-
1. I don't feel that i am good enough for him or to be in such a wonderful relationship so i subconsciously ruin it for myself all the time. Sometimes i am my own worst enemy.
2. Things just seem too perfect so i am just waiting for something to go wrong.
I think what it comes down to in my case is self esteem Whig makes me very insecure. Because i have very low self esteem i therefore don't think i am worthy of anything good.
If you are like me, just think that he is with you for a reason and that reason is most likely that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, although that may seem crazy to you.
It takes a long time to get over it but one day in the future you will look back and think you were obviously insane at the time. I haven't got to that stage yet (possibly due to a relapse due to pregnancy hormones at the moment) but i am getting there.
Good luck.
I hope you and your partner have a happy, healthy and long future together.
2007-03-14 11:55:03 · answer #1 · answered by aussie_gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through this at the moment too. I am just a couple of steps ahead of that stage though. I too felt those things and more, I was a mess. But you know what... it made me very sick. I still have him and we are working on it, but I have come to realise if he doesn't want me I can't make him but I am not helping by being that sort of person. Think about it, would you want to be with someone that is doing the things you are doing. I know its hard, it has been a huge struggle for me too, but for the sake of saving what I thought was mine forever, I am learning to control what I think, what I say and what I do. I am becoming a more positive person and I am making progress, one day at a time. I know you are in a very bad place right now, it helps me to talk to people I don't know. Email me when you are ready missdre_@hotmail.com
2007-03-14 19:00:35 · answer #2 · answered by missdre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Have you told him your fears? Work WITH him to get beyond your insecurity, be realize that you have to get over them or you are going to run EVERY boyfriend awya.
2) Could you see a professional? These obviously are serious emotional issues, and it may not hurt to talk with someone who is trained to deal with this.
3) Don't put so much pressure on the perfection of your boyfriend. He has flaws. NEVER fear losing someone; life is going to happen and sometimes we can't control it. Live each moment for what it's worth and don't spend so much time worrying about tomorrow.
2007-03-14 18:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking only about what you need right now but think about what he needs..a little space, a little trust and somebody that's smiling at him. Be a little generous by thinking in terms of what he needs too..Also, think abt times when your ex watched you closely and maybe made you feel uncomfortable..maybe you too felt you needed more undersatning and trust..and space.
Take a breath, read some good jokes on a funny website, remember laughter! Pray for calm and serenity!
2007-03-14 18:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i went through the EXACT same thing last month. we've been together over a year, and it was horrible! i felt like we were just drifting apart, more and more, and i bitched and complained about everything! i was keeping him from everything, his life besides me. he almost broke up with me, but i changed. just tell him that you feel distant, or what your feeling is, and don't complain about little things, just tell him how you feel, and he should try to help make it better, just don't blame anything on him
2007-03-14 18:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by punky28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him and tell him how you are feeling. I am sure we will understand. Also don't be so insecure.:) The same thing was happening with me and my bf. I just talked to him. Communication is the key.
2007-03-14 18:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by I love animals<3!!!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you're going through a little life crisis and depression and you dont mean what you say. if you wanna guilt trip him, tell him that and then say "if you really love me, you'll understand and help me get through this tough time." as for you, from now on, everytime you're about to speak to him (EVERY time), stop, breathe, think about what you're about to say and determine whether it'll be more harmful than helpful. good luck.
2007-03-14 18:33:55 · answer #7 · answered by fear of the dark 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all you need to do is show him your yahoo question and tell him its the truth and you really love him and tell him yes your stress out but he needs to stick by your side thought the hard times
2007-03-14 18:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by lisha_b1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fall down on your knees and beg forgiveness for being such a b****. Tell him you'll do anything he wants if he'll stay, even give him a b*** j** every day.
2007-03-14 18:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he is possibly the best thing thats ever happened to you and say your sorry for anything bad/mean you did
and you love him alot
2007-03-14 18:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by nicholas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋