spanking questions?

Question

i am doing a project for school and i need to know about spanking. if you spank your children, please discbribe, in detail, the process.

yes jemmie. i am interested in everyone's opinion. thanx. it helps a lot to hear all different points of view.!

Sweetie - i am glad that there are some parents around here who don't spank their kids. I am against it, too. i just have to do a project for school

Answer 1

First, I do not believe that spanking is abuse if it is used as a loving disciplinary tool. For parents that choose not to spank your children, I respect that.

That being said, I have three children and I spank all three the same way. I take the child to another room, I don't think a child should ever be spanked in front of someone else, with the exception of the other parent. I take the child over my lap, their head on my left so that their buttocks is on my right side. Arms and legs hang straight down. I then bare their bottom and deliver 3-5 swats with my hand per year of age. Afterwords I always hug them and reassure them that I still love them.

Answer 2

I have spanked before. Hold child by shoulder, give a quick medium hard swat to the butt (pants in place), sit child down and talk about it. Could also be a swat on the hand, but hand are easy to hurt, especially the back where the bone is slow close to the skin.

In an EXTREME case when I was babysitting and given permission to spank, I pulled child over my lap, put his arms straight down between my legs to hold him in place, and gave three medium hard smacks with my non-dominant hand through his underwear. It got his attention enough that he stopped screaming, kicking and biting. Then I sat him down and talked about it. He also had bread and butter with a bit of water for his before bed snack.

And I am a highly educated person with a BSc, 9 years experience working with children and a child development diploma as well. Spanking alone will teach nothing, but a swat is a good, effective and quick method to get the child's attention. It can be effectively used to stop a tantrum from escalating. However, the talking it out still needs to come afterwards as that is the more important part.

Spanking to me is the same as a coach using a whistle. Its a tool to get immediate attention.

Answer 3

I have been a single parent since 1991. I reared 5 children. 3 girls and 2 boys. The 4 oldest are in college. The youngest, is 17 and in high school. He is in NJROTC and marching band. He is a second degree black belt. All the children achieved black belt status.
My oldest is married and is expecting my third grandchild.
I didn't spank my children. I did expect and get respect from them. There were plenty of time outs. Plenty of taking things they liked away temporarily. They knew what was exceptable and what wasn't. I stuck to my guns when I punished them. I didn't give in and let them have their way if they cried or pulled a tantrum.
I was very fortunate in that my children have all grown up to be drug free and well adjusted.
I believe keeping them busy with karate for 9 years also helped. A lot of discipline involved in that.
Hope this helps you. Good luck with your project.
CalalmityJane

Answer 4

Spanking is also known as disciplining a child for doing something wrong and there are many ways to discipline a child for bad behavior. You can send child to time out, warn child not to do it again. However if all else fails and you must spank a child, I suggest telling the child what they did was wrong and not to do it again, then take your left or right hand and pop the child once or twice on the behind, but not too hard and not too soft. Just enough so that the child understands they shouldn't do what they did again.

Answer 5

Swatting a kid on the butt for acting up is not child abuse. As long as you only use your hand, it is only on the butt, and you dont do it very hard or leave a mark, it is fine. I hate it when people claim spanking is child abuse. Just swatting their butt is not going to hurt them mentally or physically so how can it be termed as abuse? I dont think it teaches your kids violence either. The media teaches kids violence. I personally dont spank, I make my husband do it. : ) But, we only do it if everything else has failed to get her to understand that what shes doing is wrong (ie. timeout, loss of privileges, saying no, etc.) We've only had to spank her twice. I believe in some cases, spanking may be the only thing that gets through to them. However, spanking should be used a last resort and not as a constant punishment.

Answer 6

I am for spanking in controlled circumstances. The reality is that it works for some kids and not for others. I only resort to it in two situations: 1) my son is being deliberately defiant, and 2) he has put himself in a situation where he could seriously be hurt (i.e., run out in front of a car).

It's actually far more effective for my son to be put into timeout, even though I swore I'd never do that. When I do have to spank, it's usually no more than a single swat on a fully clothed bottom. Once in a great long while he needs more, so I use a thin plastic paddle from a paddle-ball toy on his bare bottom. It does no more than sting, and that way I can see to make sure I'm not actually hurting him.

I know people who spank so much that it becomes thoroughly ineffective. I really believe it needs to be used sparingly, but I admit that it frustrates me to be out in public and need to discipline him and feel unable to for fear of someone crying "child abuse" on me.

Answer 7

We don't spank. Not that I hold anything against people who do... I just figure we each parent & take care of our households the best way we see fit, and what works for me might not work for the next person :) Anyway...

The preferred method in our house is clear, concise, NVC (non-violent communication). But you didn't say whether or not you were interested in hearing from non-spankers....? :)

Answer 8

Jeremy J, 3-5 swats per year of a child's age? Your oldest is 10. That means if she does something really "bad" she will get 50 swats on her bare bottom. In an earlier post, you severely spanked your 10 year old daughter for selling her artwork to strangers-going door to door. Talk about long term emotional damage like squashing the budding artist in her, let alone short -term.

Answer 9

Hold kid by the hand and spank them but don't let them go that means they can get away with anything now?

Answer 10

I never spank and I have 6 kids. There are alternative methods rather than teaching your kids violence. Just my opinion.