How can i help raise my GF's self esteem?

Question

So i've been dating my GF for about 6 months now and she has some self esteem issues. She doesn't think she is pretty when in fact she is drop dead gorgeous. She thinks she is fat when she weighs less than 100 lbs. I tell her she is pretty all the time, she isn't fat, she doesn't need to loose any weight, etc... but she just rolls her eyes at me and tells me to stop. Other people tell her she is pretty too, people even make cat calls at her all the time apparently, and yet she doesn't think she is. I've stopped talking to any girls i know cause i think what it boils down to is that she is affraid i will hook up with any of them(if i already haven't because in her mind any girl i was/am friends with i slept with, which isn't true because she was my first, but she won't believe me on that as well as other things.) I thought i could handle it but sometimes it becomes too much for me to handle. So is there anything i can do to help her besides telling her she is pretty all the time?

She is getting some counceling. Good point on the fishing for compliments but i don't think that is true. There are other things that show she has self esteem issues.

Answer 1

Honestly, I don't think she has self esteem issues, I think she is fishing for compliments....about the talking to other girls thing, she is trying to control it so she won't lose you, and I don't blame her there because I think other girls will do anything to get my guy.

Answer 2

It sounds like you're doing a nice job to help boost her confidence. I don't think there's any more you can do. After awhile, all that negativity has to get old. I understand the concept of having self-esteem issues (a lot of us women do), but I've tried to train myself to accept compliments gracefully and not bring others down by my lack of self worth. No one likes a woman that doesn't project confidence. It's a lesson I'm still working on.
Either that, or she's doing it for attention...she's learned that when she complains about herself, you'll flatter her with even more compliments. She seems sweet and self-deprecating, but really she's just sucking up the extra attention. Perhaps you should try ignoring her when she starts in on her self-defeating comments.

Answer 3

I think you are sweet for trying but there really isn't anything you can do or say that will change her mind. Have you ever thought that maybe she just likes to hear people say that she is pretty and not fat? That may not be the issue at all. She may really have low self esteem though. You can keep reassuring her but she will have to change on her own.

Answer 4

There are probably many "issues" in her past. That doesn't mean dump her though. I could speculate all day long what they are but that is not the important part. At some point she will have to do a serious self portrait of herself and realize that she has a problem (IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX HER!!!!). She will have alot of work to do. People can do it on their own, but they have to want to do it. ONLY after they actualize that they want to help themselves with they begin to, otherwise it's all just hot air.
Just don't get a superman complex and think you can save the world or you will end up with a heaping helping handfull of your own "issues"

Answer 5

All you can do is just be there for her. Some professional help probably wouldn't hurt. Some people are strong enough mentally to overcome these type of situations on their own over time, while others need a little more help. Maybe she just needs to grow up a little bit.

Also telling her she is pretty all the time doesn't really help. She probably feels that since your her BF your are supposed to be saying that so she just tunes you out when you say it.

Answer 6

Oh yea that brings back memories, its a simple fact that she thinks you are too good for her. You are everything she ever wanted and she is afraid to lose you. When I was first dating my g/f she was so shy and self concious, she wouldnt even let me see her in a bikni untill a year after we'd started dating. even though she just about as close to an angel as anyone as ever gotten to(esspecially me). Anyways it just takes time dude, she'll get over it as she gets more and more comfortable around you.

Answer 7

tell her to ..
god
it's people like her that make US feel like ****. If shes drop dead gorgeous, and she thinks she isn't what the f uck does she think we look like?

there is no other way to boost her self esteem. She can only do it if she wanted to. Talk to her about it. Show her you care for her and there is no one that catches your eyes except your girlfriend and nothing will change that.

Answer 8

some ladies only needless to say have low self-worth. no longer something you assert will make her completely replace her techniques. My fiance tells me daily that i'm appealing; yet my self-worth is so low that it is going in one ear and out the different.

Answer 9

Honestly, I don't think she has self esteem issues, I think she is fishing for compliments..

Answer 10

Get her counseling. She sounds like she has anorexia or something.
Take her hands and look in her eyes and smile and say "wow, you look gorgeous tonight". Show her off to your friends. say "this is my girlfriend. remember me telling you about her?" Little things. Good luck!