What is a good child's punishment for disrespecting his kindergarten teacher?

Question

I am currently stationed in Korea till June 2007, I got an instant message from my wife that my 7 year old son was very disrepectful to his kindergarden teacher. Just would not listen to her. I can give my soldiers corrective training and be creative with it, but I am having trouble trying to come up with something for my son that he would not do this again. My wife had him write I am sorry letter. Any suggestions

Answer 1

a good old fashioned spanking. thats what I got when I did some thing like that, and I never did it again. spankings work, plain and simple.

Answer 2

First of all, does he know about respect? Does he know what the word means & is it practiced at home? I am not trying to be mean here. As a retired teacher I have seen children who had no idea what the word meant. Do not punish a child for something he doesn't understand. If however you find he does know what it means, then by all means he needs discipline. I have made really rude children earn the priveledges back. For this particular one, take away something he really likes to do (be sure you & Mom follow through). Tell him in front of the teacher (if possible) that he must be on his very best behavior for a certain number of days & have the teacher send you a note at the end of that time . If he has done a good job then he has earned his priveledge back. If he does this a second time, take it away for a longer period. For a third, take it away for good or at least for a long time. Remember if it is something like T.V. time then he can't watch in his room nor with the family or at Grandma's. Some punishments work with some children & not with others so you may have to try several different ones untill you find one that works with your child. They do need to learn that there are consequences for making bad choices in their behavior.

Answer 3

Maybe there is a reason behind the disrespect. Could he be upset that you are away from home and not understanding why you have to be? Is there something else going on? I think your wife chose a just consequence for his age. Should it continue, have her talk to him about it and try to find out what is upsetting him. Maybe he feels that the teacher doesn't like him. Your wife should make him understand that if he continues with the behavior, then he will lose a privelege. For instance, he will not be allowed to watch TV for one full day, or perhaps he will be sent to bed one hour early, or if Saturday is set aside for something fun, then he loses that day that Mom would perhaps take him to a movie...you get the idea. Children work best when given lots of praise, so be sure that when he has a good day at school to reinforce how proud you both are of him. Good luck with this!

Answer 4

It must be related to the incidence. If this is a repeat offense, I would suggest all three of these, one is not enough. A handwritten apology letter that he must read to her and give to her. (That's two) A three paragraph paper about what it is like to be a teacher, everything the teacher must do, and what it means to the teacher and the classroom when someone is distracting the attention from learning. And why he will never disobey her again.

And sir, please consider having your child tested for attention deficit disorder. Ask your teachers if they have any reason to suspect it. They usually are the first to know.

And if your child has it, please get him treated and medicated. Kids with ADHD often disrupt class because they cannot concentrate. And also get him tested for dyslexia.

My nephew's just got tested at age 12. He has been suffering for years, a loner, cannot read. It is very sad. He says the medicine is REALLY helping him like school more.

Answer 5

I was that little boy at one time! What my parents did was to invite the teacher over for dinner. From what I remember, a little while after she arrived I started to see her as a human being with real feelings and not something akin to a rag doll.

I don't know if inviting a teacher over is still done in this day and age, but maybe something else can be worked out between the teacher and student... anything that will show the child that the teacher does indeed have feelings.

Answer 6

I believe that the punishment given by your wife was appropriate if it was a one-time offense. If it is something that the teacher brings up again, and your son is disruptive and disrespectful on a regular basis, then more drastic measures must be taken. Writing sentences, taking away priveledges, a conference with the principal etc. Hope you are going home soon to see your boy....

Answer 7

The most important thing, after your son apologizes, is for your son to come to understand why being disrespectful is bad. Why it makes him look bad and why it's wrong to treat other people that way. That's a long process. Kids can mess up again as they learn to apply specific information and requirements to more and more situations.

I'm interested in why he was disrespectful. What is the full picture? I had to sit in kindergarten classes a lot babysitting my nieces (and I homeschool in large part because of what I observed in those classes) and I continually saw that the teachers did not respect the boys. They didn't listen to them, they didn't explain things well to them, they didn't have activities suited to the physical needs and learning styles of boys.

So, beyond teaching him to act respectfully, maybe he's already so conscious of his personhood that he doesn't take well to the annihilation of self that many schools expect of kids. Maybe homeschool would be better for him.

Or, maybe he just needs help learning how to handle stress.

With a little kid, punishment doesn't do much beyond making a child scared, resentful, or ashamed. Constructive consequences to teach and to help the child cope with situations that don't bring out his best are a more helpful, results-delivering way to go.

Answer 8

Have your wife talk to your son and have him tell her the whole situation. Instead of TELLING your son what he did wrong, she should ask him what he did wrong. Ask why it was wrong and what a better solution would have been to the problem. Have them discuss it and come up with a nice way to appologize- maybe with a homemade card or a letter (that your wife can help him with). This way, he will get a better understanding of the impact of the situation and have to work hard to correct it himself. A punishment isnt effective unless the child knows what kind of impact their actions caused, understands why it was unexceptable and then tries to make it better. At least when they talk about it, it will refresh his memory

Answer 9

I think time-out and talking to him should be done. I personally would talk to him and ask him what he did and why he did it. I have trouble punishing my child for something that someone else says that they did. I would want to make sure that they really did it. When I was a child I remember getting spanked and in trouble all the time for something I didn't do because my parents believed everything they were told. I only discipline my daughter when I know that she did something or if I saw her do something. Ask him before he is punished.

Answer 10

I think your wife had a great idea. That's what I'd do. That, and have a talk with him to figure out where the outburst came from, and to remind him how he's expected to treat his teacher.

Answer 11

My son just went through a similar phaze. I had to sit down with him until he finally confessed that he thought if he had a bad attitude his dad would come back. (We have been separated for over a year...for some reason he just got a case of missing his dad).

I would sit down and talk it out with him...In your case, I guess it would have to be over the phone...or have your wife take him to a counselor. Don't let up until he tells you why he did it.