My sister is getting married and she's letting her brother walk her down the aisle?

Question

Instead of our dad. Well he hasn't been in her lfe like that, but he has always been around me. Even still don't you think she should let him walk her down the aisle instead of her brother? She was going to let dad do it, but her and her mom got into an argument on why would she ask my dad to do it instead of her mother's husband. Well the thing is she doesn't get along with her mother's husband b/c he tried to molest her years ago and her mother didn't believe her. So to not cause any confusion she chose her brother... Do you think she should choose dad or her brother? And if she does choose her brother, should she tell dad the reason why? My fiance told me not to sweat it cause I'm "daddy's little girl" and he would be happy just by walking me down the aisle. But I can't help but be upset b/c I feel like he should be the one to walk her too.

First of all her mother kept her away from our dad b/c her mom didn't want to deal with him after their split and my sister knows that. Secondly, enough with the smart comments!

Again her mother kept her from our dad b/c her mother wanted nothing to do with him after the split. He didn't know where they were living or anything she found me. Now they talk to each other. We have the same father but different mothers. That's her brother, not mines.

Answer 1

i think she should let her dad do it. its her wedding and she is the one walking down the aisle. if she wants to walk w/ her dad she should.

Answer 2

Personally, if dad has been in the picture, then he should be doing the walking with your sister. If he's been an absentee father, then I think your brother will be an excellent substitute. Your sister is just trying to get along with everyone. I'm sorry your dad's feelings are going to be hurt, but he sort of brought that on himself. As far as Mom's new husband, forget him. He's lucky he's even invited. BTW, who's paying for the wedding? If it's your mom, then she does have the right to voice her opinions. I know it's your sister's wedding, but it's time to grow up (which it seems like she is trying to do the right thing) and realize that not everything will go her way. If dad is helping to pay for the wedding, it's seems a little hypocritical taking his money then blowing him off. It all comes down to is this. Your sister is grown up enough to get married. She seems like she's doing her best. Let her make the decisions. Your turn will come.

Answer 3

See this situation is already confusing enough. It is her day she should let whomever she wants walk down the aisle with her on her day. Just keep that in mind...it is her day not yours well just not yet.

Secondly, your sister needs as much support right now to deal with all that is going on or has gone on in her life. Don't try to make her do anything she doesn't want to do because it might draw her further away in life than needs to be. Just be there for her and except her wishes.

If she chooses to tell her dad the reason good if not don't sweat it, as long as he is still invited. Some people get their feelings all up in other peoples wedding and it isn't fair to that person nor the person they are marrying. Keep that in mind...think about what you would have done in her shoes. They are mighty bigger than the shoes I have walked in but just thinking about how she maybe dealing with all of what happened to her seems hard enough.

Just let her be!!! You support her!!! Until it is your time!!!

Answer 4

This is your sister's wedding, not yours or your mother's. If her father wasn't in her life when she was growing up and he wasn't really a "father figure" then why should he? If having her brother walk her down the aisle makes her happy then what should it matter. This is a ceremony of two people coming together to form a new family. I know that you are concerned about your dad's feelings but he'll have the joy and opportunity of walking you down the aisle. But in the end if your dad is questioning it then she should tell him.

Answer 5

I totally understand where your sister is coming from. I, too, plan on letting my uncle walk me down the aisle rather than my father.
If your relationship is good with your dad, it doesn't necessarily mean the same for your sister. She shouldn't be forced to do something that wouldn't make her comfortable, specially on a day like that. She should be surrounded by people she loves and she has a good relationship with. He can still contribute a lot to the wedding without walking her down the aisle.

Answer 6

You really have to butt out in this situation. Your sister made the perfect choice. She didn't want your stepfather and good for her for not letting herself be bullied into that choice. Your mother was way out of line (leaving aside the molestation incident, she can't have such a short memory that she forgot your sister told her and she refused to believe it!) Your mother's using your sister's wedding as an occasion to prove something - too bad - but your sister wisely is not going to pick her real father since that would make your mother berserk and most importantly, it wouldn't have any meaning for your sister on a meaningful day. All of this should be clear to you; also the fact that you are somehow managing to make it all about you! Your fiance's right - listen to him. What is meaningful to you doesn't amount to crap in this situation, nor what is meaningful to your mother.
With the bunch of you at work being drama queens - and I do include your stepfather in that - I hope your sister stays strong and your brother too. Someone is bound to threaten to disown someone over this - since the wedding is all about everyone except the bride!

Answer 7

I have to say that it is completely up to the bride as to who walks her down the isle. Weddings are a very personal experience and the bride and groom should be comfortable with whatever they decide to do - from walking down the isle to who is in the wedding party. The most important thing is that she choose something she can live with, because the walk down the aisle is a pretty solemn and significant moment. It just might be the part of the wedding she remembers best.

Answer 8

You said your Dad was not in her life like he was/is in yours, so to put your standards on her decisions is not fair, also you seem to be degrading her decision making process. It's not your wedding, so how about being a good sister and just giving her some support instead of questioning her every decision. It's probably hard enough for her as it is. What are you, Daddy's little defender? He's a grown man, he can handle it....the truth is that it sounds like all the adults in 'her' life have let her down, Daddy wasn't there, stepdaddy molested her, mommy didn't protect her or believe her....GEEZ...what a mess.

Answer 9

you may desire to have an usher walk you down. The bride makes the regulations... there is not any too previous or too youthful for something. At my wedding ceremony, my sixteen twelve months previous sister replaced right into a bridesmaid and my 12 twelve months previous sister replaced into my flower woman. yet once you opt for to be seperate from all people else, you may desire to easily have an usher walk you down. i did no longer understand that I had to have ushers so previously the ceremony started, a pair of my groomsmen acted as ushers and walked the unmarried women down the aisle. don't experience so handed over. wedding ceremony making plans is a hectic time and maybe in case you talked on your sister she might understand that she had injury your thoughts. the two one in all my sisters have been lined yet I had 8 bridesmaids and eight groomsmen. My wedding ceremony replaced into good sized so all people replaced into lined.

Answer 10

It's HER wedding and she can do whatever is meaningful to her, and you should support her decision.
Obviously she feels her brother is the best choice here - he represents her family, and she won't hurt the feelings of either father or mother if she declines all of them equally. If your father was absent during her life, then why should she choose him? She should choose whoever she is close to. She could also ask her mother instead, or have both mother and brother escort her. It's not the tradition that matters, it's the feeling behind it.
Remember, this isn't your wedding, so it really isn't your business - if your father doesn't mind, then neither should you.

Answer 11

Its her wedding so its her choice & it sounds like her Dad & Step Dad havent been there for her & she doesnt want to choose favorites in between them so I think that she made a great choice! If she loves her brother & he has been there for her then she should go for it! Dont get her down just let her do whatever she wants! It sounds like a good choice to me & she seems happy with it too! Believe me your Dad will probably be fine with just walking you down the eisle! Your Dad has been there for you all your life but it is a different story for her so just let her do what ever makes her happy! I hope this helps! :)