My girlfriends brother is abusive, i need suggestions on how to handle it...?

Question

He is 18 years old, and a total asshole. He calls his mom "the c word" and yells at her when he doesnt get his way. He has pushed her a few times, and over the summer he kicked my girlfriend and he got arrested for it. I had to restrain myself from beating the crap out of him when he came home the next morning, instead i brought her back to my house and she lived with us from july til february. My mom said she cant stay forever and in february suggested she go live with her grandparents. She was going to and then her brother said he doesnt want her to be afriad of him and he is sorry he hit her, and was acting nice to her. We were getting along fine, then one day he pissed his mom off by saying offensive stuff and she slapped his face, so he called the police on her. Then he was back to being a dick again. Now i guess he has been calmer for the past couple of weeks, but i dont know when he will flip again. It is inevitable he will again, any ideas?

Answer 1

It sounds like more than just abuse in this family. It really sounds like he's been getting away with this for years because his parents never placed control on him. you have to ask yourself is this somethingthat you want to deal with for the rest of your life? He's going to be there if you get married to this girl, even if he;s in prison. But since nobody is taking a stand againd this guy, like restraing orders, what can you do? Beat him up? So he can call the cops on you and look like a wuss? Unlikely. He won't go away or change until he wants to change and that force is going to come by when he sees that mom, sister and rest of family don't want him around. In the meantime, the next time he lays a hand on any woman or person, call the cops...immediately. Press charges. Take him to court. Keep him away for good. This might actually help him change his mind about his way of life.