My 10 year old son tells me he does not believe in God, what do I do?

Question

My ten year old son in the past year or so has started professing that he does not believe in God. I don't think he's doing this to just push buttons. We're Episcopalians, so he has not have the whole ffire and brimstone theology shoved down his throat. I've tried talking with him logically about faith and religion but he still seems very adamant about not believing their a god. What should I do?

Answer 1

Not much you can do except talk to him - well, ask him questions and let him talk and reach his own conclusions. Where does he think he comes from? What is it that makes the grass grow? What does he think will happen after death?

Many spiritual people spend time thinking about it - if he can come up with thought out ideas then you know he is contemplating it. Lots of us change our ideas or grow them as time goes by.

I personally reject the idea of a personification of God, but I do believe there is a Universal Energy that powes this existence - nobody knows what it is, but we can all see it making flowers and starting new hearts beating. Does that mean I believe in God or not?

I would also decide for yourself what you want for your child. Do you want to teach him to aspire to Christs example or do you want someone that agrees with your spiritual beliefs? In the end, religion is a man made tool to help us live a worthwhile life, right? You will teach him to be an example of a good Christian by your own example in deeds and temperment - does it matter that he feel as you do about God?

Peace!

Answer 2

"We're Episcopalians, so he has not have the whole ffire and brimstone theology shoved down his throat."
- Shame on you. You should be PROUD that he's thinking for himself.

"I've tried talking with him logically about faith and religion"
- HA. That's an oxymoron right there.

Overall, either praise him for being an individual or leave him alone about religion.

Answer 3

Let him be. Your little boy has done a very brave thing, he has questioned everything he knows, and he has come to a different conclusion. There's nothing wrong with taking a different path. Your job is to teach him to be a good, respectful and kind person. Why does it matter so much that he doesn't believe in god, if he is all those other things? If you beat him down about it, he's just going to lie to you and say what you want to hear. It seems like you have a very truthful, smart little boy on your hands. Don't stifle his urge to question the world around him.

Answer 4

He has the right to make his own decision. Forcing him to go to church at this stage would push him away anyway. I suggest leaving him to work it out for himself. He may come back to it later, or he may remain an atheist.

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I don't understand what you mean by talking to him logically about faith and religion. Logic would tell us that God does not exist! Surely believing in God is a matter of faith. Perhaps talking logically is where you're going wrong?

Answer 5

You do not say whether your son attends church with you or not, whether you insist upon his attending. Does he explain to you his reasons for his disbelief? He seems rather young to be adamant as you say; he can not have reached his decision based upon intensive study or prolonged contemplation. If I were you, having discussed the matter with him, I would not continue to make an issue of it unless you feel that he is just rebellious and that his denial of a deity may be an outward manifestation of a deeper psychological problem. If he is otherwise normal and not given to being problematic, I think that you might allow him the right to his own philosophy, perhaps suggesting that he read eventually (when he is older if he persists in his atheistic views) arguments for and against the existence of a deity...

Answer 6

Well, your son has a right to his own beliefs. However, as believers, it is hard to see someone that close go down a Godless path...I suggest (and I am not an expert this is just my opinion) standing by your beliefs...show your son that you are devout, lead by example, etc. Maybe you should make religion more of a priority (not that you aren't but you know what I mean). Take him to church, etc. But do it all in a way that isn't shoving it down his throat. Do it subtley. Don't make him feel as if you are forcing him to accept God. I think that chances are, if you continue to be firm in your beliefs and incorporate those beliefs as you raise him, then he will come to God in time. He's only 10. There is plenty of time for him. He may just be saying that because he has a friend that said that. Or he thinks it's cool, whatever. If he doesn't ever believe, then I guess you'll just have to accept that as hard as it will be. :-)

Answer 7

All children go through a questioning stage, in fact all of their adolestent life is spent questioning all facets of life, its the way we learn.
I myself went through alot of my childhood doubting any afterlife, but as I've got older, and have looked more deeply at life, I now do have faith in an afterlife, whether you would call that God, or some other spirit form.
My own children are at the same stage as yours, and are adamant that there is nothing after death, and recently we had a long and difficult debate about this and, to my frustration, I made no head way in guiding them to having a more open view.
It was then I realised how they are doing exactly as I did as a child, so I stopped worrying so much, as I am sure they will find a path that suits them as they get older, just as I have.

Hope this helps. God Bless

Answer 8

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I don't understand what you mean by talking to him logically about faith and religion. Logic would tell us that God does not exist! Surely believing in God is a matter of faith. Perhaps talking logically is where you're going wrong?

Answer 9

Exactly how can you present the God of the Bible in a logical fashion?

If your son finds reason to believe, he likely will. I'ts possible too, that he has atheist friends who are just more convincing.

As for making him believe, in the end, that's not your job. Live your life of faith, and if he sees ith worthy, he may adopt his. Making someone believe is impossible. Believing because your parents did offers you nothing. Even among Christianity, a faith cannot be inherited.

Answer 10

Don't make him feel guilty about it! That's what happened to me and it made it very difficult for me to deal with life, trying to reconcile things through the God paradigm when I didn't believe in it.

Belief is exactly that - belief. If he doesn't believe, he doesn't believe. Make sure he grows up to be a good person and he will have all the tools necessary to make an informed choice about God.