I am having a birthday dinner at a resturant and I am sending out e-vites to people (my family) How do I politely inform them that they should be prepared to pay. The dinner is 40$/per person or 80$/couple. I know this is tacky, but my apt. is not big enough to hold 25 ppl and all of my family lives out of town.
2007-03-14 09:54:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would put this on the invitation.
"No gifts are necessary, and unfortunately unless I win the lottery between now and the night of the party you have to pay for your own meal!"
2007-03-14 09:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Firstly, I would find an e-vite to a $40 dinner is a bit crass. Take the time to hand write a mailed invitation to them all. You might get a better response if you need to state on the invitation: Dinner $40/person or $80/couple.
Honestly I would look at booking off a smaller restaurant, and then have them cater a buffet for your guests, it would be cheaper, around $25 a guest which is definitely more reasonable.
Depending on if your family is used to doing birthday parties like this or not, or if they have lots of money to spend, there might not be any issues. If some people are tight on money though, maybe consider changing the restaurant so all can be included, and not just those who can afford to be there.
2007-03-14 10:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Sabrina.
If you invite them like this the assumption is that you are paying. Especially somewhere this expensive (unless this is going to be fine for the sort of people you're inviting), I think it's about £20 each?
It's not a problem in itself to meet people for dinner to celebrate your birthday, students do this all the time. Something along the lines of 'I'm celebrating my birthday at blah restaurant on the xth, hope you can join us, or if not meet us at the y bar before or the Z bar at 10pm. Please let me know so I can tell the restaurant numbers, a menu, with prices is attached.' A very informal e-mail or phone call is right for this sort of thing. To soften the blow perhaps you could pay for the wine with the dinner? Choose a fairly cheap restaurant so more people can come, and don't expect presents as some people will have used their budget on the dinner.
2007-03-14 11:32:13 · answer #3 · answered by KateScot 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definitely way too tacky to invite people from out of town to a party and expect them to pay. $40/person is a ton of $$$ too. Try to arrange buffet dinner at a lower end restaurant or have the party at a buffet restaurant. Something you can afford. As a rule, I always consider the person's travel expense as a "gift". I have flown to family/friend events (weddings/b-days etc) out of town and EACH person graciously requested that I NOT bring a gift. Being there was a gift in itself.
2007-03-15 08:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus1234 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to let people know that they need to pay and the price. Can't you go somewhere where they can order from the menu? $40 is a lot for a birthday dinner....
I would say something like...
I am hoping that my close friends and family can meet me for dinner to celebrate my 25th birthday. We are dining at The Restaurant, April 2, 2007, at 7:00 p.m. The cost of the meal is $40 per person and you get a choice of meal A or meal B. Please let me know if will you be able to attend by March 23 so I can reserve you a seat. I truly hope you are able to celebrate with me. Sally
2007-03-14 11:47:47 · answer #5 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No no no no no no no no no no no. Etiquette felony! There is no correct way to inform people that you are charging them admission to a party you are inviting them to. If you are issuing the invitations, then you should be prepared to offer hospitality-- at no cost-- to your guests. If you can't afford the restaurant you've chosen and you don't want to have them at your house, then you need to find some other arrangement-- such as at a lower-cost restaurant where you can afford to pay for your guests, or food you prepare (or buy yourself) and serve at a venue like a picnic in a park, or at some facility like a church where you either get the room for free or for a nominal fee.
If you invite people to a party where they are required to pay, I think you'll find that the turn-out will be disappointing and the guests you invited will think that you're either ignorant of etiquette or very crass in your manners.
If I were you, I'd be scouting out buffet restuarants or finding other ways of keeping the cost down so you can treat your guests, or pare down the invite list to the point where you can afford to treat everyone invited at the restaurant of your choice.
2007-03-14 10:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by Karin C 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
There is NO polite way to invite people to take THEMSELVES out to dinner. If you are issuing invitations, what means you're hosting, and if you're the host, that means you're paying.
If you were just going to engage everyone in conversation and, as a group, you all decide to plan an outing whre everyone "goes Dutch" and pays for their own plate, that is quite different. That is not an "invitations-issuing" sort of thing, and in that case there would be no host-- it's just a group gathering.
If you're inviting, you're hosting and paying. There is no two ways about that.
If you want to host something, you have to find something you can AFFORD to host. Consider taking everyone out for brunch at a cool diner, or even out to an upscale ice cream parlor, rather than out to a full dinner. That would cut your costs.
2007-03-14 10:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
say it on the invitation. Say you are invited to a birthday dinner at ____ and the cost is $40 per person (80 for couple is the same thing!)
2007-03-14 12:48:54 · answer #8 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Who is the birthday for? Say it is for your aunt; then write: Please come to _________ Restaurant at 7 p.m. to help our family celebrate Aunt Fanny's birthday. The price for the dinner if $40 per person. We will all settle up the bill after dinner.
Who is paying for Aunt Fanny's dinner? If you are, say that on the invitation. If everyone is going to divide it, tell them you will all go in on Aunt Fanny's dinner.
Then you will put that you hope everyone can come and that you wish you could have had this at your apartment but you are unable to and add that it should be fun.
2007-03-14 11:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, you think highly of yourself don't you? You are throwing your own birthday dinner, expect them to all come in town for it and then pay for their dinner too??? How rude!!! What are you 4 years old, you still need a birthday party??? Get over yourself and grow up. Go out with a few friends or YOU GO SEE YOUR FAMILY WHERE THEY ARE!
2007-03-14 10:05:10 · answer #10 · answered by wish I were 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If the birthday party is for you, forget about charging, that is more than just tacky. However, if the birthday party is for another member of the family, then you could word it this way: Please join us (this way you're engaging them in the plan) in giving Aunt Mae a surprise party for her birthday at the ----------Restaurant. on May 11 at 5:00 pm. The cost is $40 pp. We will also be chipping in for her meal. Please call me for further details. Etc, etc, etc.
2007-03-14 11:31:49 · answer #11 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋