he hits his face /hits his head on the wall. why is he asking this way?is this normal?should i take him to psychology?
2007-03-14 09:31:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
As far as the "I don't love you you don't love me" that seems to be something they do at this age. My daughter sometimes tells me I'm a bad mommy when I don't give her something she wants, or tells me I don't love her. Just let it go. You know the truth and he does too. Try disciplining him consistently for engaging in self damaging behavior. I think to some extent kids do things like that at this age as they learn the limits of what they can do. If he is showing extreme defiant or violent behavior, or becoming withdrawn, you might consider having him evaluated by a therapist.
2007-03-14 09:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal. My favorite line to the "you don't love me" thing (or the "I hate you" one if you haven't gotten that yet) is, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I still love you." If you say it in a calm voice over and over again to the sassing, eventually they'll stop. If he's hitting his head against a wall, pick him up, without a word, and place him somewhere safe (If you have a play pen, that will work). keep doing that as often as he does it. If you argue or scold him, he wins. Make sure though, that once he stops behaving that way, you take him back out and give him a hug or something. There's a program called "love and logic" which will help immensely.
2007-03-14 09:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lady M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal... especially for boys (girls like to express feelings boys like to act on them). He is learning not only that he has feelings, but HOW they "feel." Imagine never experiencing frustration (I mean ever) and think how overwhelming that would be the first time you felt frustrated? Now, imagine how that feels with every emotion out there. Sensory overload! This is what I've learned to do:
"Billy when you say you don't love me, it makes me feel like sad. I understand if you are angry with me, it's okay to be angry. It is not okay to say things that make me feel sad." Be informative, to the point and QUICK. Then, change the subject. Don't let him get a rise out of you or this will come back to haunt you (around 6 he'll start doing it JUST to get a rise out of you). The "when you _____, I feel ____" worked incredibly well with my son. As does the it's okay to feel ____ but not _____. Now, he uses words like, "I'm getting really frustrated and mad I need to be alone." Exactly what I want.
I never hear "I don't love you" anymore but went through almost 18 months of hearing it before I stopped. I wasn't as consistent as I should have been. The consistent parent is the best parent... In my opinion, for what it's worth.
2007-03-14 11:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by brassinpocket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is reacting to discipline and structure in a rebellious phase. Try this.
When he starts talking back, instead of arguing with him, get a garbage bag and put all of his favorite toys in it. Then put it in the closet or a location where he can't reach it. Tell him that since he is being mean and hurting your feelings, you must take away the privilege of playing with toys until he learns how to respect and love his parents.
If he hits his head on the wall, make him walk around with his tricycle helmet on. Even when he goes to the store with you make him do it. He is pushing you to get what he wants; embarrassing him and taking away fun items will get his attention real fast.
Worked on my kids. They are now 12 and 9. They are still concerned that I will make them do embarrassing things in puiblic as a result of thier behavior
2007-03-14 09:38:39 · answer #4 · answered by Jim from the Midwest 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it is normal, but you can help him out of these actions. my son is 3 in a half. and when he gets mad he says you dont love me. were like we always love you. try to focus on what make shim harm himself first. any particular feelings. Than focus on what makes him feel that way and how you guys can resolve it together. he will feel more included. i was told my son acts this way because we have 2 younger children tah nhim and he needs more attention.
2007-03-15 00:15:04 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs.Vick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is something bothering. If he is not telling you then is probably isn't telling anyone. If he is struggling schedule an appointment with the doctor and ask what she would recommend or have her recommend a child phycologist.
2007-03-14 09:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by gottalot2learn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the World of parenting. I have gone through it 2 times so far...I don't try to reason with them, I don't give them any kind of look, I don't give any kind of feedback but, "Well, I Love You" in the nicest tone I have and the phase seemed to stop after only 1 month.
2007-03-14 09:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by Spring loaded horsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents would pull out the video camera when I started acting that way, which usually made me stop (Oh, how I loathe those tapes now).
2007-03-14 09:41:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
children pick up what they see. either from his parents or his surroundings you should try finding the sourse and yes if he is actually harming himself i would seek help ASAP i know that that can be a sign of abuse that maybe you dont know about. but i sure hope not!
2007-03-14 09:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seek professional help immediately. If he is causing harm to himself and you, it is an indication of some sort of imbalance. He's still young and can't communicate what he wants to you. Get him help ASAP. Good luck.
2007-03-14 09:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by deejay30 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋