Seriously, my doctor gave me anti depressions it been so bad dealing with her. My mother is insane… she keeps throwing screaming fits about her dress not being good enough and other bull. She doesn’t want me to get married. She is a lunch lady and lives very modestly but screamed at me for making her buy a dress at David’s bridal because she didn’t want to wear off the rack…. Wanted champagne and saw a dress in haper bazer she rather has by Calvin Klein. OK, my mother buys all her clothing from Kmart right now… It’s been soo bad I just been avoiding her. I am 30 years old, this is my second home I owned and I have lived in PA since I was 24, my mom lives in NJ. I am getting my master right now and working full time. My mother just called one of my bridesmaids and told her she rather I marry someone else…. Was returning her dress to the store… that my fiancé controls me and makes me live in PA…. and I am wasting my BFA by pursing a master for a teaching degree???? She also told my bridesmaid that my fiancé drove around without car insurance…..which is a lie because the real story is he got dropped for car insurance and when he went to pay his bill he found out they illegally dropped him a month ago. He of coarse got car insurance that day! It’s so strange because she always acted like she like my fiancé but not hates him?? She even comment she would have rather I married this Rob “who was nice to hear” but verbal abusive to me??!!! And she hated Rob when I dated him… She is being off the wall and so insane….. She isn’t giving us a dime but told me I bought my dress in a **** hole and why didn’t I go somewhere better?? She keeps comparing herself to her cousin which I don’t get and pointed out several times to her…. Lynn paid for her whole daughter’s wedding so therefore she gets control. Now she is driving my bridesmaids’ nuts with the shower because it’s almost like she wants to ruin it.
Ok here is the question- what do you do?? Do you try to talk it out with an insane woman who can’t get through a conversation with without her screaming about some random thing? Or should just ignore her for now and pray the god that it goes away??? I am afraid she is going to start at Easter in front of family………..
2007-03-14 09:26:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
oh gosh, I wondered what happened with your dress shopping issue. My mother has driven me nuts at times too, except I still live with her! We went for 10 days not talking just cuz she couldn't relinquish a little control and grasp that it was my day not hers...just so you know their is hope cuz she is *mostly* better now that we are 10 days from the wedding, I think we both just had to get over it to make the day happen.
Your mom reminds me of my grandmother....dirt poor but likes to put on a show mostly right? My granny feels that she was the freaking queen of england born in the wrong body or something and especially when she is in public acts as if she deserves queen treatment, bashing everyone who lives in reality, she has made parts of this wedding hell with her comments so I totally know how you feel.
The best thing I can tell you to do is to let it go as much as possible...I don't think you can talk to her, she seems to have a mindset that isn't very supportive of anything you want to do and in the long run the day is for you, about you, and it really sounds liek she is jealous that your stealing her spotlight, so if she;s goin down she's gonna take you down with her. If she is as much like my grandmother as she sounds, no amount of anything is going to make her behave herself, she can't let it go so someone has to be the grown-up here and it looks like it will be you. It's probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but i'm sure a lot more people see it and you will come out smelling like a rose and she will come out looking liek the awful person she is acting like....you've done the right things on this stuff and you don't have to defend it to anyone. Good luck! Message me if you want to discuss awful relatives, I'm always up to blow off some steam!
2007-03-14 10:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by ASH 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your predicament (are our mother's related?).
Anyway, the best way to deal with a manipulative and pretentious person is to stop giving her attention.
Do not call her about the dress or the bridal shower. She is in NJ and not in PA and she cannot just show up at a moment's notice. If she treats to returned the dress, simply say: go ahead. And that is it. Do not start an argument because that what she wants, to take the attention away from you and making it about HER.
Everytime that she calls and complains and start trying to stir trouble, simply IGNORE her band brush her off by saying: I really gotta go, someone is on the other line.
Do not give her attention, you don't need this stress on top of all the stress of going to school and planning a wedding.
PS/ Next time she brings David's Bridal again, tell her that she can go ahead and return the dress and ask her cousin if she can lend her one or go by Kmart and get one herself.
Good luck
2007-03-14 17:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to calm down. Breath in, breath out. Repeat.
Ok, now sit back for a minute and think about why your mother is acting like this. It probably is not because she's crazy. Does she feel left out of the wedding planning? Does she feel like you've pushed her aside? Does she feel like her input isn't being treated with any respect?
Once you pinpoint what could be causing this, you'll know what to do. But for starters, let her get her own dress from wherever she wants.
2007-03-14 17:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dang and i thought my mom was being mean about my wedding. She makes my problem with my mom look like nothing. Well The only difference is i live with my mom and i hear it almost everyday. the only thing that i do is just relax i get married in april and then i wont hear her again nagging aboout the wedding. So just dont pay attention to her and let her talk. she will get the point. K Good Luck!!!
2007-03-14 16:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem with my sister at my wedding... I wanted certain people to wear certain colors... HA, so funny! We fought so much I finally just said F@#* it, you buy it you wear it. You just show up on time and dont act like and A#$. To be honest it went really well! :)
2007-03-14 16:53:44 · answer #5 · answered by Chris B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she either jelous or is affraid she loosing her daughter. but, she does need to stop and realize that your not wasting you life your bettering it. just explain to her that you would appreciate it if when you talk, she doesnt fly off the handle on random things, and you would appreciate it if she didnt call and harrass your bridesmaids. its your wedding not hers. you and your fiance are the ones in control, not her. tell her you appreciate things she has done for oyu, but your sick of her ranting and raving over things or compairing things. its not healthy for either of you.
2007-03-14 16:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have your work cut out for you. Let her return her dress and tell her get whatever she wants as long as she foots the bill. I am not too sure of your fiance, you mentioned he was controlling. Are you sure you want to marry him?
2007-03-14 22:24:38 · answer #7 · answered by sjlova86 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG, it's funny how bad people can really aggervate situations. I have that prob with my moh. Best advise I can give is be patient. It'll be over soon.
2007-03-14 17:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm QUITE stunned to hear this about you Bubbles. I've watched here as you talk & plan your wedding .
Why don't you email me? Here or through my site.
http://www.weddingvowsandpromises.com
2007-03-14 17:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O that's sounds stress full Just ignore her because it doesn't seem like she is going to listen to you anyways
2007-03-14 16:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by schristine23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋