It's been almost 3 years since I haven't spoken to my mother and i don't think it will be anytime soon , my mother since as far as i can remeber has been mean to me she has put me down hit me accused me of stealing, it's just been short of killing me.The final straw was about 3 years ago when i went to visit and was staying at her house everything was fine until one day she came home and asked me where i had put all her money and jewels, of course i was dumbfounded since i had no idea what she was talking about, i left and i went to my cousins house where she repeatly harrased me, well at that same time my husband was away with my daughter on vacation who just so happened to get sick so he called me at her house and she later dropped by to tell me my daughter was probably dead, i'm crying as i write this , but i know it's wrong to hate your own mother what do i do, i really have resentment towards her.
2007-03-14 09:23:28 · 10 answers · asked by seialie (pronounced sally) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Please listen to me. I didn't speak to my mother for over 2 years. It devastated me so bad, I got into counseling. The therapist was great, she even cried with me at one time. I really got so much out of therapy. I now can go around my mom and except her for who she is. ( a lot like yours). She doesn't bother me at all, I have out grown her. Do you know what a wonderful feeling that is? She is still petty and unhappy and I'm just great. I'm happy within myself. Once you get to that point they start treating you with a whole lot more respect. I don't feel about her like I use to do and it is because I'm not needy anymore. I hate to tell you this but chances are she will not change, that is the sad part. Change yourself though. YOu willl be shocked at how much more happy you will become. Those mothers can be doozers. Did you know that is the most complicated relationship out of all the relationships we have in life? Mothers and daughters, they teach that in phys at college. Good luck and God Bless, I do understand totally what you are going through. I never thought there would be a time when I didn't hurt but trust me, I'm in the drivers seat now and so very happy. SHe calls me now, but if she didn't its okay. They are just who they are. Try and look for their good, even though it is hard.
2007-03-14 18:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by sugarmonkey47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your resentments are founded, but your hatred is not. I don't think you hate her, at all; that's why you're here. Lord, mothers and daughters, even the best of them, have complicated relationships. and yours is a doozy! I'd write her a letter, very thoughfully worded. In it, I would assure her that I had not stolen from her, tell her I wanted a good adult relationship with her, even though your past is rather ugly. She sounds rather impossible, so don't be too disappointed if she doesn't get it, but at least make an effort to tell her you love her, in spite of it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. You'll feel immensely better, I do believe. Then, my dear, it's up to her. Let it go.
2007-03-14 16:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this is causing you a lot of stress. May be you should let her know how you feel. If not in person by letter, write down everything. If her response is going to be dealt with anger then it's probably best to let her know you don't want to hear from her and have any more contact with her. Extend the olive branch at least for your own sanity. At least you can say the you gave it a shot. In the long run you'll feel better you did and won't feel so guilty.
2007-03-14 16:50:44 · answer #3 · answered by curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is one thing allowing your self to be hurt again is another. Do not hate her. When some one hurts you the longer you hold on the the hate the longer you allow them to continue to hurt you, because hate is painful. Tell her (preferably in a letter) what she has done to you. If she takes a positive step forward and apologizes then proceed with caution make it clear that you will not be hurt by her again. If she does hurt you again it's time to consider cutting you losses and moving on. Maybe she has a mental illness that makes her this way and your letter will make her get help. Don't let her hurt you or the rest of your family any more though that is what is most important.
2007-03-14 19:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by teresacmt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, rightfully so you should be angry. That is a personal choice that you have to make, can your really forgive your mother? My fiance has not talked to his mom since he was 12. He is 22. He has really mixed feelings about the same issue. part of him wants to see her, the other part resents and dispises her. Just think of it this way, if she was dead, would you feel guilty that you never talked to her, or would it be okay with you to never speak to her again.
2007-03-14 16:30:19 · answer #5 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what your mom does to you, you have to forgive and respect her if you want to be good with God on your side. Let him handle her. Saying this, you don't have to submit yourself to her harrassment either. Sometimes your parents can be jealous of you and your accomplishments and try to bring you down in the dumps to their level. By ignoring her, you are on her level and she is loving it. Call her one day to just see how she is. When she starts with that BS, tell her that you have to go take care of your household. The only way to win is to try.
2007-03-14 16:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to forgive her ,but not for her for yourself dont give her any more power over u abuse is not about hitting or words its about controll and power,so if u dont forgive her and move on your are just giving her the power to controll and abuse,go on with your life ,let her know that if she wants a life with you in it then she has to show love and respect,if not then stay out of your life, goodluck
2007-03-14 17:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by twinkle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like poison. Stay away from her. You can be civil on the phone, or on e-mail but you do not need to see her in person.
She sounds mentally ill, has she been evaluated?
2007-03-14 16:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOw, well thats your mother but their is no excuss for doing this to you.
2007-03-14 17:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just get over it.
2007-03-14 16:28:46 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋