My two year old throws these horrible fits and tantrums and I don't know how to control them?

Question

My two year old son has started throwing these fits where he bangs his head on the floor and if you try to pick him up he can maneover his body to go limp and then he flares back up again. I have tried time out. I am at my wits end. I don't know how to make him calm down and I don't know how to make them stop. Please tell me this is just a phase. I have never given into his temper tantrum so I don't understand why he keeps throwing them.

Answer 1

I feel you pain! My youngest - also 2 yr boy - is also doing the head banging. It is a phase and the more attention you give it the longer he will do it. After he bangs his head the first time we ask (very firmly) "Are you done?" If he does it again we walk out of the room. It is VERY hard to watch, but they cannot bang hard enough to hurt themselves (other than a bruise or two).

#3 has a very high pain threshold, so this has had us quite worried until the following incident a week ago:
He was mad at dad for something (changing him, putting toy away) and he was screaming and crying and then he screamed at dad – “NO DADA” and then BANG – head to floor. Well, he brought his head up and started rubbing it with his had (and there was this red oval on forehead). Dad asked if he was done and he meekly said 'Ya' - all crying and fussing was done. He is banging much less now.

Here's a links from BabyCenter - Head banging: Why it happens and what to do about it: http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/preschooler/pbehavior/63575.html

"Head banging is surprisingly common. Up to 20 percent of babies and toddlers bang their head on purpose, although boys are three times more likely to do it than girls. Head banging often starts in the second half of the first year and peaks between 18 and 24 months of age. A child's head banging habit may last for several months, or even years, though most children outgrow it by age 3."

“Try not to worry.
Your preschooler may get a bruise or two, but don't worry — head banging is usually a "self-regulating" behavior. This means your child is unlikely to hit his head hard enough to seriously injure himself. He knows his threshold for pain and will pull back on the throttle a bit if the banging hurts.”

Good Luck!!!!

Answer 2

Have you tried ignoring them? or getting on the floor and throwing a fit of your own?
In public, simply drop what you are doing and leave. Make sure he knows - explain in 2 yr old words - that HE is the reason you are leaving.
Parents forget that if you continue activities or pay attention to the tantrum, you are rewarding them for their behavior!
It is a phase tho, he is testing boundaries... pushing buttons. But get it nipped in the bud soon!... (It can get worse...)
You have to find a method of correction that works for you and your childs dynamics.
if time outs haven't worked, start taking away prized posessions.
if that doesn't work, a swat on the behind.
If you won't do that one, try a positive reinforcement for good behavior, like a sticker chart.
when chart is full, if there are more good days than bad, reward the child with a trip to zoo, or mcdonalds playland, or something along those lines

If you're concerned it could be medical, talk to your pediatrician.... maybe there are some testings or advice he/she could give you

Answer 3

No do not allow this you have to show him that you will not tolerate the behavior. When you do a time out do you follow through with it he can not get up. You set a timer and he cannot get up until the timer goes off. Show him that every time he gets up the timer will be adjusted for that he will sit the whole time no toys or whatever. You have to make sure you keep an eye on him and follow through with what you say if you do not control this now he will know he can do whatever he wants because mommy does not follow through or is not consistent. I see kids now that the parents did not give the kids the discipline they needed and they are bad kids. They have no respect for adults. or their parents. It is not a passing thing. Oh yea and the ones who ignore it are you the ones in the restaurants with the kids throwing fits. and still saying it's OK it will pass. I have worked with kid councilors and bottom line you are allowing bad behavior.

Answer 4

I think maybe he is doing this for your benefit. He knows that he will have your attention when he throw his fits. I don't know how envoled you are as a parent but maybe he needs more positive time with you reading books play with cars, blocks go for walks. . I know as a parent to a 2 yr old how the test us. hang in there I hope it is phase too.

Answer 5

My little girl use to do this too! She pretty much grew out of if after awhile and after i stopped paying attention to her tantrums, she was more intrested into what i went off to do and always found that more intresting then rolling around on the floor. Try anything to make him forget what made him mad.

Answer 6

The guy who said "smack him around a little bit" is an idiot....I agree with "it's a phase"....you are doing the right thing by not giving in to him....when he pulls this, tell him (above the noise) that when he is ready to talk calmly, you'll be happy to....then walk out of the room...it's an attention ploy.

Answer 7

At this age our beautiful little children can be terrors! My best advise is to walk away without uttering a word. If he sees how his actions don't get any attention he'll probably stop. These little ones are incredibly smart and test the waters to see just how far they can go. I wish you the best!!

Answer 8

I was told this when my daughter was young and it worked. Take away the audience. When he starts this walk away just so he can't see you. My pediatrician told me the idea is he has no one to watch and he will stop. Right now you are giving him what he wants and his behavior will continue. Again I don't mean leave the house just out of his sight.

Answer 9

My son who is almost turning two is doing the same thing. I think its because he knows that you wouldn't hit him and sometimes they think your just joking around. Do you let him get away with alot of things that can also contribute to the problem. But my son is afraid of his dad because he has a deep voice and i guess it scares him..Us mom like to give in too easy with our kids..I laugh when I yell at my son cause he makes these weird faces so i get his dad to handle him than he gets scared and runs to me.

Answer 10

It is a phase - as long as you never give in.

Check out this link to Dr. Greene for some moral support...

http://drgreene.com/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref=565

http://drgreene.com/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref=556