What's a good way to set up my boyfriend to see if he is faithful or not?

Question

He claims he is so faithful, but something inside me tells me he is not...what's a good way to set him up to see if he is or not....no sarcastic answers please...

Answer 1

"Setting him up" is probably not the best way to go about fining out if he's faithful. If he finds out he'll probably be pissed off. Think about the past, has he ever given you reasons to not trust him? If he hasen't then you should give him the benifet of the doubt. If it seems like he's hiding something, it might be a suprise for you.

Answer 2

This isn't sarcastic, but I wouldn't set him up. If you are even thinking about it, there are serious problems in your relationship. You obviously don't trust him, so why don't you see what you have done, rather than lay blame at him. None of us are perfect. Maybe he is acting funny because of something you have done to him, or something you said that offended him. All I am suggesting is that you don't set him up. Try talking to him. So you set him up and he is telling the truth..What happens if he finds out? It's over for sure. TALK to him as 2 adults should. Trust me on this issue...I lived in a marriage for 15 years where I wasn't trusted and didn't even know it!!! We had 3 kids, and he was secretly planning to take the kids and move to another state and file abandonment charges, and then almost succeeded in convincing my family I was crazy. It didn't happen, but I almost lost everything because someone else decided that I was worthless and went behind my back to alter my future. We ended up divorced. Now I don't trust him.

No one will win. It will not make you feel better, and when he finds out you will be alone.

Talk it out, get a family therapist if you need to. Take some advice from someone who has been there.

GL.

Answer 3

The fact that you are even considering this tells me that you have the wrong man or he has the wrong woman. This is not a sarcastic answer. Even if you prove he is not cheating this time what about the next and the next? Are you going to have team of detectives follow him around? If you don't think you can trust him, find somebody else.

Answer 4

I agree with the above posters. The bottom line is that you don't trust him, regardless of whether or not he is faithful.

He WILL find out that he's been set up, most guys aren't that clueless about their girlfriends' suspicions. If he turns out to be unfaithful, your setup with confirm that and you should break up with him. If he turns out to be faithful, he will be upset that you don't trust him and he should break up with you.

Either way, the relationship isn't going to last very long if there isn't any trust and the communication isn't there to confront him, so you might as well end it now and move on.

Answer 5

The problem is when you "set someone up" you are admitting that 1) you don't trust him, and 2) you are willing to suffer the consequences for YOUR dishonest actions.
Relationships are based on trust, and the mere fact that you are questioning his faithfulness is troubling. Say you do set him up and he fails. Are you ready to leave him? Just some things to consider...counseling for yourself to see why you insist on not trusting your instincts & why are you staying with someone that makes you question your instincts? If you say because you "love" him...look out cause, here comes the sarcasm...

Answer 6

Setting a person up is not a way for a relationship to go. Even if the setup proves that the person is faithful to you, if the person being set up finds out about it, he or she will not appreciate it.

how do I know? because it happened to me.

I loved my last girlfriend. And I thought that she trusted me. but she did not. you see, apparently I am very handsome ( I don't see it myself), and my girlfriend and I went to the same college, which has a lot of girls in my classes. She thought I would stray, so she asked a girl in one of my classes, that she was friends with to hit on me.

one thing that you have to understand is that I grew up in a Christian family where I was ingrained with fidelity. My parents taught me to be faithful and just to anyone I dated. and I did that with her. I did not return the flirtations.

But when I found out some time later the whole thing, I was angry. Because she didn't trust me to be faithful.

I would advice not to try to set him up. no.

but if you must find out, you can investigate. his cell can hold numbers of people he has called. you can have friends watch him from afar. Myspace, Facebook; people often think that they are safe from prying eyes, and people often post items like photos trying to brag about what they did over the weekend.

there are always tells. A gut feeling is often wrong. only cold hard facts can show if he is faithful or not.

look at his track record. how many girlfriends has he had? usually when a guy has a lot in a short amount of time, (like more that 4 in a year) that is something to watch out for.

one of my old college roomies did cheat on his girlfriend several times after I met him. after they broke up, that following year he dated about...8 different girls.

does he act like a ladies' man? did he act like one before? when you first met him, was he single, dating someone else he dumped for you?
another big factor is where you met him at. a guy you meet at a bar is not always as good as one you meet at a library

does he act humble? or is he conceited, acting like big man about town? does he pay attention to you?

but most importantly, if you do not trust him enough that you think of setting him up so he will fall, you should re-evaluate whether or not you will ever trust him enough to enter a long lasting commitment with him.
(also, has he ever said anything about kids, family, stuff like that? those are signs of fidelity).

I am not saying he is innocent, nor am I saying that he is guilty. but know for a fact, no man or woman is perfect.

We can all be tempted by someone of the opposite sex. only if that person gives in to that temptation is he or she guilty.

good luck.

Answer 7

Being faithful and having faith in each other is a two-way street. I don't think you should set him up. Unless you actually have evidence to the contrary, you should believe him. If you test him, you are showing him that you do not trust him and you don't have enough faith in your relationship.

Answer 8

"setting him up" is the dishonest approach. If you have your suspisions about him, just hold off until you get some feasible clues...but usually if you suspect cheating, you are being cheated on. Just use your reason... it's kind of hard for a guy to be involved in two relationships at the same time, you'll notice the lack of time and attention to your relationship.

Answer 9

Just like everyone above said. Sweeite if you can't trust him you never will. It's not worth you going and setting him up just to prove something. Then what? Do you honestly believe that once you find out he's not cheating that you're suddenly going to be secure. I think not.

If you don't trust him, you don't need to be with him. It's not fair to either of you.

Answer 10

You know, every time I run across someone like you asking a question like this and I answer in the manner in which it should be answered I get blasted by the Answer Police for being abusive. So, I won't answer a question from a person like you, asking a question like this in the way it should be answered. Instead, read your question again and just imagine what my answer might be that would get blasted by the Answer Police. Hope that was not too, underhanded, coniving, mean spirited, paranoid, evil or childish an answer for an asker who has to post script their question with........no sarcastic answers please.