Did I screw it up?

Question

Ok here is my story. My bf and I were in love (or so he told me). I went on a vacation for 2 weeks and during that time I missed him BADLY. But also during that time he found out he had gallstones so he was hospitalized for a few days. I got home from my vacation a couple of days after he got out of the hospital. I was excited to see him cause I missed him so much. But, the first day I got back, we only talked on the phone for 10 mins until he 'had to go'. That entire week, everytime I tried to call him he wouldnt pick up, when i tried to talk to him about feeling ignored, he got upset, he told me he was going through a lot of pain & was very busy & that he had to 'put me aside' for a while. I felt so neglected but also so bad at the same time b/c I was worried about him & his gallstones & he wouldnt let me console him. & although he told me he was busy & that he couldnt even respond to my text messages b/c he was in so much pain, he still found time to see his friends. At one point

when I tried talking to him about feeling neglected, he yelled at me over the phone, when I asked him to stop he kept doing it even when I was in tears. The night after that he continued to ignore my calls/texts & later I found out he was at some bday party the whole night. I couldnt take it anymore, I was in so much pain that I broke up with him. Now he is telling me that he didnt do anything to me to break up with him & that I overreacted & I wasnt sensitive to his situation & now he is upset with me. & even though i apologized over and over for doing anything to hurt him, he doesnt want to work things out. Did I fu*ck up?

Answer 1

A similar situation happened to my neice and it turned out he was cheating. He was ignoring her when she got back because he was not man enough to own up to it. I am not saying your BF did that, but it sounds like he feels guilty about something and is now giving YOU a guilt trip. People sometimes bring others down to make themselves feel better. All that aside, I don't think you screwed up. You tried to be there for him when you got back, only to have him push you away. Find a new BF or better yet- DON"T and just have fun with your friends!! Good luck!!

Answer 2

no, u didnt.
the problem is that u were in vacation while he was in pain. thats not ur fault and it isnt his, but in that time he built up bad feelings about u (that u've left him to deal with his situation alone; that u arent there when he needs u; that ur "having fun" while he's in the hospital).he's angry and frustrated and the best person to take out his negative feelings on is.. well, you.
he's trying to hurt u by ignoring u, by not taking ur calls and not replying to ur texts, because he felt hurt when u werent there. i think u 2 had better take some time away from each other for a while. he's angry at u for something thats not ur fault, and ur being sory and running after him and begging forgiveness. thats not healthy, and its not right. i suggest u text him once in a while, and then call him once. if he doesnt reply, let him be. he's trying to see how far u can go. u must not let him manipulate you, otherwise this unhealthy behaviour might become a habit and that can only result in heartache.
as to your breaking up, i think its a good thing. he has to learn to appreciate u. and if he has time for his friends, and for going out to birthday parties, then he has the time to at the very least talk to u on the phone. this guy is being deliberately cruel and ur letting him hurt u. dont go on like that. take some time away.
he's saying he did nothing which caused u to break up with him. he's being dense on purpose. he thinks he's hurting u by keeping u away from him. and thats true. u have to learn to "keep him in his place". he's not ur lord and master. and it isnt fair for him to blame u for something thats not ur fault. u didnt plant his gallstones and then go off in the sunshine. he has to understand that. he has to get rid of his negative feelings. maybe u cud talk to a mutual guy friend, that might help.
best of luck with that guy! and btw, if he continues to be rude and grumpy, then ur better off without him.

Answer 3

i think you did the right thing. usually when people are sick they would want their loved ones to be there to console them and help them feel better. i have no doubt that gallstones are painful but for him to claim that hes in too much pain to text you back is a little ridiculous. you did the right thing. don't let him make you feel bad.

Answer 4

Basicly you did the right thing it may hurt now but getting rid of him was the best thing you could have done. any boy who treats you that bad isnt worth the brain space. just think of him as a bad zit it annoys you for ages until your eventualy forced to squeeze it then it hurts for ages then when it heals you cant see why you put up with it for so long.