My boyfriend and I have always had a great relationship - very open and loving. He's in Iraq now, and things started out great. Now, for the past two weeks all we've been doing is fighting. I recently turned 21, and lied to him about boys being around that night - i feel terrible for lying, but I wanted to steer clear of an unnecessary fights (obviously i only caused one). Then he saw a picture of me and a girlfriend kissing each cheek of one of the guys that was there. It was an innocent picture, but it upset him. We had been fighting about it for awhile, and we finally made up the other day. Now, out of no where, he tells me that he thinks that I am falling for another guy, and just keeping my boyfriend as a type of secrity net - which really offends me considering Ive been nothing but faithful for the 4 months he's been gone. Anyway, all we do fo rthe past 2 weeks is fight. I need to know how to make it better. he really is my everything - and I love him with all of my heart.
2007-03-14 09:11:48 · 4 answers · asked by beckyvincenzes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you love him and want to stay with him all you can do is reassure him. Be honest, tell him why you lied. Understand that mentally he is in a very tough place. I just read a news story that stated that 25% of all Iraq Veterans were coming back with some kind of mental health issue like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and others. With that kind of life you have to imagine he will get a little paranoid about you leaving him.
You just have to hope that in time he will learn that you have no plans to cheat or leave him. Good luck.
2007-03-14 09:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to fight. Why not just be silent? Why not just be calm, gentle, and focus on what truly matters....i.e. building a healthy relationship with him. Long distance relationship gives the couple very less time to connect with each other. Do you want to be fighting in that limited time you have? Use that time for something positive. Next time, just be silent, and express nothing but love & compassion for him. Also be open about whatever you are doing and keep updating him. Hopefully, he will be doing the same. It's easy to get jealous or very possessive over long distance....becoz it is frustrating since we hv no control over what's happening on the other side. We can't see anything. All we can do is hear, and trust. So why hurt the other, by taking advantage of the fact that they are not with us? So curb some of your natural reactions which the relationship can do without, and reassure him. Make space for love... nothing else. I wish you all the best.
2007-03-14 16:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is feeling very insecure right now and who can blame him. Just keep reassuring him that he's the only one. It is difficult, but until he comes home to see for himself try to steer clear of the partying or perhaps don't talk about it too much. He is probably homesick and when he is not doing anything he his just left alone with his thoughts which sometimes can be misleading. My husband and I were separated for awhile and he became very insecure when I would talk about guys I used to work with. Once he came home and met my co-workers he realized he had nothing to worry about.
2007-03-14 16:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by juju baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't fight with him. He can't fight with you if you don't fight back. Don't talk about other guys. Just talk about him and how much you love him. If he is in Iraq he has enough to worry about without a girlfriend giving him reason to think she might be unfaithful even if she isn't.
2007-03-14 16:22:34 · answer #4 · answered by Lleh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋