My mom is a Drug addict and I don't know how to help her. What should I do?

Question

I don't live with her. She is supposed to be with my grandparents but she hasn't been there in a few weeks. She has been on drugs since I was 10 I am now 21. I have tried everything. I am lost. I don't know what its like to have a mother and i am afriad by the time she wants to give it up she'll be on her death bed.

Answer 1

Kristy, this is tough I know. You want to do the right thing, and yet, I know it's hard to know if it will be the right thing or how she will react.

Will she get mad at you? Will she threaten suicide? Will she retaliate? Is it better just to talk to her? Can you really do anything?

I know ALL these questions and more go through our heads. I'm sure they may be going through yours if not more Q?s.

I too am in the same dilemma. My Mother was just admitted to the Hospital yesterday, and she is 77. She has been shooting up her Pain Meds cooked like that of Heroine. She learned this from some "Druggies" she took in and helped out. Now she has Pneumonia on top of suffering from Congestive Heart Failure, Heart Valve Damage, and I feel strongly this is the beginning of the end for her.

I strongly suggest an Intervention like others have suggested. DOn't go it alone if you can avoid it. It would be better to have other family members that are aware and concerned about your Mom's Drug Problem and want to help. Hopefully you have Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents along with anyone else that truly cares and can help.

You need to get ahold of a Mental Health/Drug ABuse Counselor to find out how to do an intervention. This may require her being involuntary being admitted into a Drug Rehab or other facility.

yes, it's a tough decision. But, then again, seeing what I'm dealing with,.....the alternatives can be worse.

I am deeply upset my Sisters did not get on board when I wanted to do an Intervention on a few occasions with "MY" Mother. They have always been intimidated by her. They let their own fears preclude her getting "Tough Love" Help, and afterall, that is what it is.

I don't know how old your Mom is, but, if she is younger than my Mother, which I assume; I would do the intervention. She may be very angry for awhile and may even "choose" to fail, but, you will at least have a clear conscience you did the right thing.

I can't say I have a clear conscience, and my Mother is now facing death. I'm still frustrated.

I wish you luck, peace, and God's grace. It's a tough thing to deal with.

Answer 2

i think you should add a few details to this. but from what you say i am thinking, that sometimes, when we tell the people that we love the way they are affecting our lives in the things they do,, they think twice about what they are doing. Not only that but you really have to feel what you're saying from the heart and make it clear that you love her, and you hope that in the near future you will be able to share a piece of her life with her that she is taking from you by making the drugs her number one priority. I suggest no intervention because that might make her do it more at this time. and no yelling. you can cry a little if you want but nobody wants to see a sob case, just show the emotion as hard as it may be with your eyes, maybe let the tears come to your eyes but down be crying all over the place ya know? After a while and you have told her how you feel, then you can think about an intervention. Good luck and i hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

That's a tough one. I agree with what others have said, stage an intervention. Do some google searches on drug intervention in the twin cities. Should turn up lots of hits for you to research and develop a plan. Good luck to you!!

Answer 4

First, understand that it's not your fault. You've done nothing to cause her problem. Further, you can't fix it. She's the one who is using and she's got to fix it. Third, do not cover for her or enable her drug use in any way. She's the one who has to be responsible for her actions. That means, no telling anyone any excuses, no giving her money that can be used for drugs. Fourth, get to Al Anon meetings. That will be the best thing you can do and it will help you a great deal.

Answer 5

If you have anyone else you could live with you might want to first secure that, then you tell your mom that she either cleans up or you move out (tough love). Unfortunately in this situation you are the adult and she is the child, be firm and resolved, but heed my advice you really should get out if she doesn't get into a recovery program. I am sorry that you have to go through this, but you will be helping both of you if you can do it.
take care of yourself

Answer 6

You should definitley stage an intervention! But it won't end there. She will also need your support and motivation so she can begin the road to recovery. I say that before you get your family members together to confront her, have a REALLY GOOD treatment center lined up that you can send her to. That is probably the best way to get her to see that her actions are hurting others as well as herself.

Answer 7

Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. Call someone.Each county has a place for drug addict.Look it up in the phone book. Look on the Internet. And if it takes calling the police do it.

Answer 8

Wow what a hard spot to be in, I am not sure myself, but below is a link you can look at, perhaps one of the 800 numbers listed there could point you in the best direction to go.

Answer 9

sorry to tell you, but there is nothing you can do until she is ready. I would recommend that if you have another safe place to stay at,,,go there and stay. You could get her into a rehab place but if she is not ready, it will not really help in the long term sense. Just love her unconditionally, but don't put yourself at risk of going down with her.

Answer 10

You can not make her change. You can offer her choices. Don't try ultimatums or threats. Your best help is to find a good source for co-dependancy support for yourself.