is it bad taste to..?

Question

On the back of our invitations (to family only) i want to include something to the effect of - we don't need gifts but we would appreciate any financial help with the reception, and ask for the to send any contribution back with the rsvp? Most of my family knows we are going to need help paying for the big day and i didn't want to seem like we just want some money

Answer 1

yes...it's bad taste.
spread the message by word of mouth instead.

Answer 2

It's extremely bad taste. And not just asking for money instead of gifts...but send cash with the RSVP. My goodness! I can think of a few things I'd send in that RSVP, even if it was my sister who wrote that. Let me tell you, none of those things would be money!!!

Let the notion travel by mouth...tell your bridal party and parents to spread the word. If you cannot afford the wedding you want, you need to budget better. Or put it on credit cards to pay when you do get money from the wedding.

How would you even word that? "I didn't want to seem like we just want some money" but "send...contribution back with the RSVP." How would you feel if you got that invite?

Answer 3

Yes. It is extremely poor taste to ask for money (or any other gift) with a wedding invitation. I understand that your family might realize thay you need financial help to pay for the big day, but unfortunately, asking as you're inviting them to celebrate with you is just tacky. If you can't afford the reception, scale it back to where you CAN afford it.

Essentially, what you're saying is "Aunt Mary & Uncle John, come celebrate with us on the biggest day of our lives. Oh, and you know we're short money to pay for the event, so anything you can send us to help us foot the bill would be appreciated."

Sorry.

Answer 4

That would be EXTREMELY rude, no matter how you worded it, and even if you just ask family.

You invitations shoud not mention gifts or suggestions of gifts or registries in ANY WAY. It is just wrong. Sit back and graciously accept whatever people choose to gift you with, whether it be items or money.

Don't assume you will get enough money gifts to "pay for" the wedding. That is just terrible planning.

Polite hosts throw a wedding they can afford. Sometimes that means just having a cookies-and-punch reception at the church hall, or having a simpler dress, or not using flowers, or having a family member DJ, etc. All of that is perfectly fine and polite. Passing off your hosting costs and duties to your guests is NOT!

Answer 5

Well I think it is bad taste to ask for the money in advance, But it is not bad taste to ask for money instead of gifts. I've been to plenty of receptions or house warmings that ask for money instead. It's fine with me. That means I won't have to shop for a gift that you may not like. And you don't have to do this just for family, you can ask everyone. Oh and you don't have to say you need it for the reception.

Answer 6

I don't want to be the bearer of bad tidings, but in the dictionary next to bad taste would be a picture of the back of your wedding invitations if you go ahead with this.

Who are you trying to impress with a wedding and reception you cannot afford?

This is not the way to begin a marriage, if you have to have others pay for your reception, you should not be having one.

I am sorry if this sounds cold, but you have to be intellegent enough to know that this is wrong. Wedding guests, no matter if they are family are being asked to join in a celebration of your wedding, they should not be helping to pay for it.

Answer 7

Extremely tacky! It sounds EXACTLY like you are just begging for a handout. Why should your guests foot the bill for your reception? If you can't afford a big reception, have what you can afford. It's better to have a simple reception with wedding cake and punch than to try to hit up the guests to finance your reception. While you're at it, why not get contributions toward the down payment on your first house, too.

Answer 8

I WOULD NOT do that!! That is very tacky!! It's like they have to pay to attend your wedding. I would suggest having a wedding you can afford. And if that means having a few family members help you cook food then that's what you need to do. You should not have a wedding you can't afford. Sorry.

There are MANY ways to make your big day special on a budget. There's a great book out there but I can't remember the name. Go to the book store and look in the wedding section and I'm sure you'll find it.

Answer 9

I'm Hispanic and in my family we help each other out with money, something like sponsors. That's what my fiance and I are doing. My aunt is in charge of finding sponsors. We are also going to have a dollar dance. The bride and groom dance with ppl and they usually pin the dollars on the groom and someone holds the money for the bride. Maybe u could do something like that. Also, if your family is really good friends with any bakers, maybe they will give you some kind of discount. My fiance's aunt is a baker and she's making our cakes free of charge. That's our "wedding gift" from her. We are having a lot of family helping us do alot of it, like cakes, bouquets, decorations, etc. I wouldn't add it to the invitations though if I were you. Well hopefully some of this will help you out on YOUR day!

Answer 10

Yes, everyone knows a young couple needs help getting started and many will give $$$ with out being asked. Your wedding invitation is a keep sake, your not going to want to look back on the invitation and see you were begging for money.

Answer 11

Yes that does sound like you are begging for money, if some one asks you what you need you could say we have a lot of things but we could use a small donation to help pay for the reception.
OR you can make some changes to your reception so that it is affordable for you