how do i control my anger?

Question

i have very bad anger management problems but i don't know how to control it. i have a very short fuse and will snap at anything, and i've been in trouble at work for it as well. i told my employer i have anger problems when i started but i don't think he believed me.
anger management problems have occured in almost every generation of my family and my parents tell me to forget about since there's nothing i can do. i have accepted it's a problem, but i just want to be less angry at work.
do you know any good techniques apart from breathing deeply coz that doesn't work for me. also, i ain't got the money for counselling/therapy so please don't say it.
thnx 4 answers.

by the way, i dont want to go on medication either coz they usually have drugs and i strictly dont do drugs.

Answer 1

Maybe it is just learned behaviour, judging by your family's response. If so, somebody has to break the cycle, and hopefully that could be you, or you will just pass it on to your kids should you have any. I was in a similar position years ago until I realised this. Also I took up amateur boxing which, I know it's a bit of a cliche, but it really does teach you to channel your aggression, as well as give it a release. At least you are looking for an answer, unlike "thecoldvoiceofreason" who is just angry because of his obvious sexual confusion. Good luck mate, all best.

Answer 2

You may find that there are a few very specific triggers that you may not even realise exist. These self propagate and self fulfil over time giving themselves even more credence and influence in other parts of your life. I am no expert on this matter, but I have had a few friends and relatives who ave had a number of differing issues (including severe anger outbursts) and they have all found that C.B.T. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to be very effective. This therapy enables you to recognise the 'boiling up' stage of anger and realising the trigger, thereby allowing you to understand the reaction that you are having and, more importantly, why you are having it, and at the same time giving you the mental tools to deal with it. It does take a little time to start working and can take many months to get it completely under control, but the time investment is well worth it. There are many CBT web sites that provide extensive information and I suggest to you that you give it a look. Your GP can refer you to a CBT counsellor and it won't cost you a penny. Either way, the fact that you are admitting to having this issue is already a big step forward. To publicly announce it took a lot of bottle and you should be congratulated for it. I truly wish you the very best of luck.

Answer 3

I am a trained Psychiatrist. I have 25 years of experience

Your writing seems erratic. From what I can tell you have Bipolar II and possibly the onset of Schizophrenia. You may also be suffering from ADD and OCD.
When I see Bipolar and Schizophrenia... I know it. I am an expert.

You need to be admitted to a mental hospital immediately.
Ask them to prescribe you Lithium, Effexor and Rispiridone.

You will likely stay for two months as your case sounds very severe.

Once you are released from the hospital it is your responsibility to inform the DMV that you are on medication and you have Schizophrenia. They will have a hearing to asses wether you are a dangerous driver. Do not be surprised if they take away your drivers licence.

I hope that you get the help that you so desperately require.


http://www.cchr.org/index.cfm/8771

Answer 4

Of course your parents want you to forget about it - they want to forget about it in themselves as well as you. This is called denial. If they admitted it they would have to do something about it! If you accept it yourself you won't be doing yourself a favor or anyone around you. If you don't deal with it, this condition will effect the quality of your work and your life for ever.

I know all this because I have a similar history and, rather later in my life that I would have preferred I am getting it under control. But, for many years I had been a pain in the a . . to myself and others.

There are many ways to help yourself that cost nothing, except for dedication.

The reason that breathing exercises and therapy are often prescribed has little to do with breathing or the nature of the content of the conversation with the therapist. Any activity that keeps you focused in the present with a heightened awareness of your bodily sensations, emotions or feelings and your thoughts will help you. What you learn is how your body and mind respond to different situations.

Think about this in terms of self-management rather than anger management.

Most people who have had top deal with this say that everyone needs the help of at least one other person and there are several ways to get that help without spending your money.

- Your local library will have plenty of books on this subjects. Find one that really "speaks" to you and your situation. (I found this in the books of John Bradshaw.)
- If there is a church in your life, seek help there.
- Also check out a 12-step group like Emotions Anonymous. No, twelve-step groups aren't only for alcoholics. The process is very well established and proven to have a high success rate for those who stick with it. And, people in these groups really like to talk about their problems and listen to others doing the same!

In any case act now before you really get into trouble and before it destroys your general health. If you just "accept" this problem you have really admitted defeat. Get support from people who admit they have a problem and are already doing something about it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

People are not just "born angry." Something happened at some point in your life, or maybe it's been happening throughout your life that caused all this anger. I have a friend who struggled with anger a long time, and turned out he was angry with his mother from the time he was a young boy, and never dealt with that, then he just lashed out at other people. Since you say you can't afford professional help, try self-help books or something written by professional counselors... surely you can afford that. Either way, you need to get control of that because in some situations, that can get you killed.

Answer 6

You don't need to learn how to control your anger. You need to learn how to RELEASE present and past anger so you will stop having outbursts.

First of all, emotions (anger) are ENERGIES IN MOTION in our bodies.

Every time you don't allow yourself or you aren't allowed to fully experience an emotion, to feel it, and to move through it, the energy of that emotion becomes stopped and blocked in your body. This is what you are experiencing. You feel angry and fight against the anger (maybe your feel angry at a time when there's really nothing you can do about it.). Also, anger is a SECONDARY emotion. The PRMARY emotions that trigger anger are hurt (sadness), loss or a feeling of being powerless. In releasing the anger you also need to release the primary emotions (what you were feeling right before your felt anger).

The blocked anger (and other emotions) will remain blocked until you go back and re-experience that emotion. Then the energetic block is freed and cleared. Virtually all of our physical ailments come from energetic blocks in our bodies, energetic patterns that are connected to our emotional patterns

One good way to get rid of past and present anger is to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Emotional Tapping. EFT works quickly and is a painless way to release emotional energy. EFT is easy to learn (you can learn the basics in 15-30 minutes). You can use EFT anytime, anywhere for any emotional or physical issue.

Please download the FREE EFT Instructional manual from the EFT website (www.emofree.com).

I learned how to use EFT last year and now use it everyday. EFT really works - ONE TECHNIQUE YOU CAN USE WHEN YOU ARE FEELING ANGRY IS TO JUST TAP LIGHTLY ON THE SIDE OF EITHER HAND (where you would do a karate chop).

Answer 7

You may be bipolar. I have some explosive anger problem thing I took meds for. Tell a shrink or your doc. I am just like you. I flip out over little stuff too. I just don't care what authority figure I scream at. I get in trouble and work and school almost every day for it. You're not alone at least

Answer 8

I know what you mean- I was handed down the temper, along with the natural red hair. Most states offer help with couseling and only base how much you have to pay on your income- which makes it really cheap. Lexapro is a cheap RX, that really helps too- if you take it everyday. Talking it over with a really good friend helps too....Writing everything you feel down helps. In pychology, I learned that running is a great way to relieve anger and tension. IM if you need.

Answer 9

You physician could send you to a neuropsychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment. Some people with bipolar type 2 disorder have anger phases rather than mania interspersed with depression. Sometimes this condition is treated with the medication Abilify.

It is good that you are trying to get your anger under control.

Answer 10

Don't say it? Doesn't sound like you WANT to stop being angry with all your excuses. You do need professional help. So contact your county's department of social services and they will get you in for anger management. Don't say you can't go or it doesn't work for you. BS. You know you have a problem. Get in there and do something about it.