Let's make this simple
My Gma (my father's mother) asked me eight months ago if my brother could escort her to her seat at the wedding. I said sure, why not? A few weeks ago, my mother and I were talking about escorting and I mentioned that Gma wanted my brother to escort her so I was going to have the best man escort my mother. Mom flew off the handle and started ranting and raving that my grandmother was trying to take the 'important' role for herself and that she thought it was really inappropriate that SHE wasn't being escorted by my brother. I didn't think it was a big deal so I agreed that my brother could escort her rather than my Gma. I called Gma to tell her the news and all of a sudden SHE flies off the handle and starts ranting and raving about how the grandson is supposed to escort the Gma etc. My 20 year old brother is a bit shy and doesn't really want to escort either of them and definitely doesn't want to escort BOTH of them. Any ideas on how to handle this?
2007-03-14 08:48:19 · 13 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, today's weddings anything goes. That being said...
Well, technically the best man shouldn't be escorting anyone, he should be standing with the groom.
Can your grandmother walk down with your grandfather? (Of course, this would be the same for all grandparents)
My wedding I have two grandmothers, both grandfathers have died. The only one on my side of the groomsmen is my brother. So, he is going to escort my two grandmothers (one on each side) then circle around the church while my fiance's grandparents and everybody else walks down, then be there to escort my mother. My brother doesn't know this yet. Then again, he is in now way shy. But do you think your brother could put his shyness to the side for you? Or is there any other groomsmen that is on "your side"? A family friend or cousin or your friend? Someone who is not as connected with the groom, not his brother or his best friend. That would be the proper person to escort your grandmother.
Worst comes to worst, let your grandmother and mother hash it out. They're grown-ups. Don't let this small thing ruin your day!
2007-03-14 08:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't you just love mothers that live through their children? Your mom needs to get a life. The only person at the wedding that has an "important" role and actually needs to be there is you (eh, and maybe the groom lol). After all, you're the reason any of the freaks are even there in the first place. Ignorant family members that care more about their appearance at the wedding than yours need to be ignored, especially if they rant or "fly off the handle". That being said, why can't you just make your brother an usher, along with someone else. Get them a tux or have them both dress in a similar suit with a boutonniere similar to the groomsmen, that way he feels less awkward. It's common for an usher to walk a single mom and/or grandma down the aisle. If he's too shy for that he can get over it too.
2007-03-14 09:17:34 · answer #2 · answered by Randy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best man always walks the MOB, because he is an honor attendant and the mother is an honor guest. Maybe she doesnt know this, I would tell her, I bet she changes her tune when she realizes that she gets the Best Man and the MOG only gets an usher. Your brother will just be a flash in the pan!
2007-03-14 10:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding and you should do things how you want them. Anyone involved should understand and respect that. But, if your brother really doesn't want to escort either of them, why make him? It would sort of solve your problem so he doesn't have to be put in the middle of choosing to escort either your mom or grandma. good luck with everything and congrats!
2007-03-14 10:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother will be uncomfortable to walk down the aisle twice??? Just remind him that the people will be looking at your Gma and your mom not him. My suggestion is to try to get him to walk them both down. He walks down Gma first, goes back, takes a breather while someone else walks down the other grandma, then he walks down your mom and then he is done. Off the hook and it took less than 5 minutes. I'm sure he would do it for you!!! Just say pretty please!!!!
2007-03-14 09:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Families can be such a pain in the rear can't they?? I say let the brother escort them both down regardless of his preferences, after all this is YOUR day and he can do his part to help keep the peace and try and maintain the stress level for you. Try and keep your cool girl!!
Good luck for a non Jerry Springer wedding!!
2007-03-14 08:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your mom and dad walk you down the aisle leaving your brother with the Gma.
2007-03-14 09:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by JTJC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have anyone escorted down the aisle! And tell them they because they made a fuss about it, you'll see them in their row at the church and nobody gets escorted!!
I hate it when people mess up your plans.
2007-03-14 08:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually the bestman escourts the mother of the bride. or if they both insist on your brother walking them down, he could walk your grandmother, then run back (not actually run of course) and walk your mom. it may be ackward for your bro. but maybe it will stop the flying off the handle of both of them.
2007-03-14 08:58:22 · answer #9 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, neither of them has any right to be angry-- hi, its YOUR wedding! Not to sound diva-esque, only YOU (and your spouse-to-be) get to be picky for the wedding. With that said, your grandma asked first. Simple as that. Otherwise, make them walk together! That'll shut them up! :)
I know, not as easy as it sounds... good luck!
2007-03-14 08:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋