Premature release, Performance anxiety AND a small unit.... What to do?

Question

Please don't tell me to just leave him because he has to be the best person I have ever dated....

But this IS sort of a problem.... The small thing I can work around but sometimes he has performance anxiety and can't get it up. And when he can he doesn't even last 10 minutes!

It is still a new relationship so I can't yet call it an ongoing problem but it is definately an every time so far problem. In the time that he does last I can't even get close to an orgasm due to the fact he just isn't there for a long enough period of time.

What can I / we do to fix this?

PLZ HELP ME!!!!

Answer 1

Help him please you. The premature thing will probably go away; some guys have medical and/or psychological issues that cause the performance anxiety. While drugs may help, something that may help even more is you talking to him.

First, you have to let him know that you still care/love him even if things don't work perfectly every time. And that you enjoy it when things do work well.
When you need more, tell him how he/you can get you to climax too. Maybe that's with oral, or with a toy, or with fingers. (I knew a girl once who would climax basically by grinding... and it was a surefire way for her to be pleased regardless of what happened to the guy.) If you're pleased, and he knows it, he may be more comfortable in the bedroom the next time.

For the premature release, try the stop and start method. Switch positions to give him a few good seconds to come down from the near peak. Or, go back to the previous suggestion and just find other ways to have you be pleased, too.

Answer 2

The problem is.. you may have to leave him.
The problem with a lot of couples, is while they're socially compatible, they're not sexually compatible. This leads to low self-esteem problems, disinterest in one another, and sometimes cheating.

While you may click on personality and intrests, trust me - it will not get better. If sexuality/sensuality is a big thing for you, unless he can work on it and make an improvement, the relationship most likely will not work in the long run. This doesn't mean he's not a wonderful person by any means, but some people simply don't work on that level and it can ruin what would be an otherwise perfect relationship.

Answer 3

You don't tell about any details, but it sounds like either you are rushing or he is. You need to find a way to make both of you relax. Give yourselves an entire evening for sex. Unplug the phone. Turn off the TV. Turn on some romantic music. Have some candies and body oils laying around.

Then, make sure you are both focused on only each other. Take it slow. If he ejaculates, let it happen. Then after a few minutes, go at it again. The second time, I promise he'll last longer. AND he'll appreciate you for giving him even more pleasure! :-) Then, go for it a third and fourth time.

Good luck!

Answer 4

My husband doesn't have the other two but he does have the release issue. His ability at for*play has become so amazing that I don't care all that much if all my peaks are before the actual act. We've been together for 3 years and things are still just fine. Ask him what he's comfortable doing and build from there.
I know it sounds cliche but seeing a therapist could really help too.

Answer 5

Whenever he seems to be getting close you need to stop what you are doing and give him a minute to calm down so that he doesn't finish early. I think it's called the stop-and-start technique. Gradually he will hopefully last longer if you try that. Not much you can do about a small unit and as you said you can work around that.

Answer 6

viagra

Answer 7

hopeless case.how old is he?tell HIM to fix HIS PROBLE.

Answer 8

tell him to try viagra that will do it!