My dad has offered a sum of money to put toward my Dec wedding...but he wants me to use his credit card in place of just giving us the whole amount on a check. The problem is that when I call him to ask for the card to make a wedding purchase, he complains about having to pay interest for the next 10 months, when the wedding is. I would rather just have him save the amount and write us a check to use at our discretion, than have to keep calling every time we need to reserve or buy something. But I don't know the right way to ask him without seeming ungrateful.
2007-03-14 08:41:52 · 16 answers · asked by 1912 Hudson 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
"Hey Dad, I just wanted to call and let you know again how much I appreciate all your help with my wedding, both emotionally and financially. It really means a lot to me and fiance. We are getting into the heavy planning part right now and were wanting to finalize our budget as we prepare to start ordering things as well as putting down deposits. I think it would be helpful and easier for both you and us if you could just write us one check and then we can spend it as we need it. What do you think about that?" And then see what he suggests and maybe you guys can come up with a compromise.
2007-03-14 09:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably thinking old school where you could pay the remainder of the wedding off when you get your wedding cash gifts at the end of the wedding. Have you tried explaining that people need money now in order to reserve the business in 10 months from now?
But if he doesn't have the cash then he doesn't have the cash, which is probably why he is putting it on the card. But he did offer the gift and it's not right to hold back now. How about having a smaller wedding and telling him to forget the gift. My whole wedding, including the honeymoon (minus honeymoon expenses like dinner and stuff) was just over 10K. I paid $300 for all the wedding flowers, and did the centerpieces and favors myself. This was just in October. Try cutting down if he's just going to play the money game with you. It's not worth it.
2007-03-14 08:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't have the whole amount and can't give it to you in cash. If you think he does then just ask him if it would be easier for him to just give the whole amount so that he doesn't have to pay interest. Tell him you can keep track and furnish the reciepts when you purchase something. That way he will know exactly what he has purchased for your wedding.
2007-03-14 08:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a father and love my daughter. As much as I want her to have the best, I have trained her growing up to set a budget.
What you described is an open season for you to spend. You sound like witout your father's money or credit card, you can't have a wedding. That means you yourself have no financial means of making it happen. As a father, I wouldn't want my daughter to get married when she lacks such financial resources. That would be such a disappointment.
Gift is something to be given away willingly and in a manner preferred by the giver. It is not owed.
2007-03-14 08:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you call him and say "Dad, I know it's a pain to have to give me the card every time "finace" and I need to get something for the wedding. So I'll just keep all the receipts and we can settle up closer to the big day."
2007-03-14 10:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by dani77356 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your Dad offer you his credit card when he doesn't want you to use it? Maybe involve your parents a little more, detailing deposit info. etc? He may not understand that businesses you hire need money up front and can't wait until the day of your wedding!
2007-03-14 08:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's paying interest on the money for 10 months, then he isn't paying the credit card off, therefore he probably doesn't have the money to give you now anyway.
Why don't you just ask him?
2007-03-14 08:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Fester Frump 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would not ask. you're saying he's tight along with his money so identifying to purchase a marriage no longer be something he needs to do. this is his money and he could choose for to offer you a present yet this is thoroughly as much as him. in case you opt for for to attitude him for help please be respectful, you ought to have wedding ceremony fee reductions of your individual, an thought of what form of wedding ceremony you ought to arise with the money for on your individual and alter your plans if he comes to a decision to chip in. a marriage is approximately plenty greater effective than the marriage day, as you think of approximately spending for the marriage additionally evaluate the fee of your new lives at the same time.
2016-12-14 19:05:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is backing out of helping to pay for the wedding. You really can't force him.
Maybe you could get a second job.
Or, if he has AGREED to pay for a certain item (say, flowers), maybe you could pay the deposit yourself and then have the bill for the balance be sent to your dad. But of course, don't surprise him with any bills he didn't agree to. That would be offensive.
2007-03-14 11:36:51 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it..if he is the one that wants to put the purchases on his credit cards then he can worry about the interest...he knew that he will have to pay the interest either way.
2007-03-14 08:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Soon2BMrsCarlson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋