Should I have an abortion?

Question

I'm 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Adoption is not an option for me because if I have a child, I want it to always know who their mother is ( I never knew mine, she left when I 6 months old and died when I was six). I don't think that I'm financially, mentally, or emotionally prepared for a child. And the father (my ex now) told me that our relationship isn't going to change just because I'm having a baby (we're friends but I'm still inlove with him).

Answer 1

You should have the child and make the man pay for it. It is the law of the land.

Answer 2

I read some more of your other questions and it sounds like this is a bigger concern to you than you may even realize.

First, you already know the dad is not going to be around. I agree with one of the other best answers though that at 20 you are young and there may be a Father for this child that you can't even foresee.

Second, just because your mom took off when you were a baby, doesn't mean you would be a bad mother. You obviously had someone raise you, and the fact that you question adoption or abortion shows me you are really scared and concerned with whether or not this baby would be fully loved. Don't worry too much about financial, there are services out there to help pay for the pregnancy, and the first couple of years of life. Plus their are grants for going to school for pregnant/single moms.

With those two things said, 6 weeks almost 7 is not too late to have an abortion. Your babies heart started beating on it's own some time this week, but anytime up through the 4th month and sometimes later you can miscarry because the baby is not developing properly.

But you are also counting the days, so you are becoming attached to this new life growing inside of you. Seek a counselor that can give you some advice about what motherhood will mean to you. If you decide to have this baby, you will be linked to this little person for the rest of your life. Don't be afraid that you won't be a good mother, you can do this even if the baby has a deadbeat dad and never sees the kid or you. Every mother with their first pregnancy is scared they won't be a good mom.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you make a choice for life, because I had my daughter when I was 20 even though her dad was a deadbeat. Although we are not together anymore, she is my heart! I also have an 18 month old son who I love dearly and am remarried. Don't give up hope, stay positive, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

Answer 3

Wow, this sounds like a very tough situation to be in. You have to ask yourself, can you live with the fact if you terminated the pregnancy despite the obstacles you may face in the future?
But you also have to take into account your financial, emotion, mental well being now. That will definitely also affect the way you raise this child should you chose to keep it, and not do the adoption route. Do you think you would feel differently if your ex was to stay in your life and help you with this child. Would you be able to do this and get through it if you have the support?
You don't have to just think of you but the baby as well. Weigh your pros and cons of both situations if you termminate (such as how would you feel years from now, etc..) or if you kept this child (such as, how will your current situation affect the future, will it be better for this child later on, etc...) Also think about adoption, although you mentioned it was not an option. Find out more about it and see if that is a route you wish to take.
It is a very tough situation to be in and I cannot imagine what you are going through. I hope this helped.
Remember this is your life, and no one can make this decision for you. There is no right or wrong decision it is just yours, and yours alone.
I will pray for you in hopes you can get through this :)

Answer 4

i am going to try and give you an answer, that is not soley based upon my true hate of abortion.

if you honestly think, that you do not have the emotional and financial capabilities for a child, then i would have to say yes. However, i also think, that if you are not ready for children, then what the hell are you doing having sex?

i understand that you dont like adoption, and i completely see how you wouldnt want that for your child. but what about an open adoption. one where you are still a large part of your childs life. You could have visitation, and some holidays. then your child would be blessed with two moms, as aposed to no moms.

if you do chose to keep the child (either for you, or for an adoption,) then use the remaining 29 weeks to get on your feet. save your money, and maybe spend some time humbling yourself.

do you have any siblings? ones that would be willing to help you with your child until you can do it on your own? will the father help you?

if hte only thing holding you back is money........ get another job. work two jobs for a while. save up.

i wish you luck, and you are definatly in my prayers.

Answer 5

This is a tough situation.
If you're really not able to have a baby at this point in your life, and you want your child to know you, I'd go through an adoption agency. You can specify an "Open adoption" (One where you are allowed reasonable contact with the child, adn the child will know you) In addition, they will help you pay some of the expenses of having a baby. (medical, some cost of living if you dont have insurance) and best of all, you get to choose who adopts your baby via a profile sent to you.
Good luck.

I wanted to add that my two best friends are adopted. Both of them are happy well-adjusted people. I only met my real mother 2 or three times, and I fully plan to adopt rather than natural birth. I think it's a great way to go, because kids see that their mother loved them enough not to be selfish, but to do what was right for them, and they have ANOTHER set of parents that adore them as well.
I'm not against abortion in extreme circumstances. And this is extreme but you HAVE options.

Answer 6

It is truly up to you. You know yourself better than anyone. If you are not ready, do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise. A child is a huge responsibility. Do not listen to the people who claim you should have a child if you aren't ready. Just because someone has sex does not mean they are ready to bring a child in to the world. Also: Most of these conservatives that tell you not to have an abortion are only concerned about the first step. They get pissed at all the women who get government assistance to raise the children that they were not prepared. I see a huge contradiction here.


I suggest not having a child until you are prepared and have a loving partner to do so. You do not want to resent this child in the future. Must we pay for everything in our lives that we don't plan? Have a child when you want to have it. All children should be wanted. They should not feel like a burden. Do this blastocyst a favor.

Answer 7

Well first off, please know that you are asking many different people with many different opinions. Let me just tell you that you are over a month pregnant and your baby's heart is already beating. The excuse that adoption isn't acceptable to me because it seems that you would want what ever was best for the child you did have. Well having an abortion is def. NOT what is best for that child. YOu say you're not stable enough to have a baby, yet yo were stable eough to have sex with this man, not thinking about the consequences that come with it! As for the baby's daddy, don't count on him to stay around, it seems to me like he is a jerk for telling you that at this difficult time in your life. I'm sure you're scared, but your worry should not be taken out on this baby, please please please reconsider this decision! How would you feel after you do it? I can garantee that you will go through depression and guilt. You are so far along already, and I think you feel in your heart that you don't want to kill this baby. But it is your choice, so thank you for taking the time for my opinion. Take Care

Answer 8

If this were up to me I would consider if I could financially support the baby. Since you are not mentally and emotionally ready then I would definantley have an abortion because a baby would take so much more out of you. Also take in consideration your age. Are you stable in a career and stable in your life to take on such a challenge without father support. Also think about that, your mother left you, would you want your child fatherless? Im not judging, but consider the circumstances before bringing someone into this world.

Answer 9

NO!!! If you think you have already made one mistake -- then why make two. Without sounding smart, you were ready enough to have sex and he was to so--- we reap what we sow. Your prpbably scared and not knowing what he will do is another issue you probably worry about. Your father to be is in for a big suprise, his life has already changed - he's no longer responsible for just himself - he has a child on the way. You said that your mother died when you were six. So, I am afraid that if you give this baby up you will have a harder time living with yourself- my advise is - have the baby and take good care of you- if the soon to be dad doesn't want to be involved - look at it this way- its his loss, because you and your baby deserve better............ good luck and my prayers are with you.

Answer 10

In my opinion an abortion is wrong. There is a baby in there and it does not deserve to die, just because you do not think you are ready. No offense but you had sex with the man, and made a baby.. There is no reason why you should kill someone else for you mistake.

If you want to learn more about how it is a baby email me and I'll be glad to gice you some evidence that it is a baby. Also go and look up an abortion video, it will change the way you think about them when you actually watch one.

Answer 11

You are so smart to realize that you are not ready for a child at this point in your life! But think of all the people who are ready for the responsibility of a baby; think of the joy they would feel to be able to adopt a baby. Think of how good YOU would feel to know that you had given your child a future with good parents. Please consult someone @ Planned Parenthood or someplace like that, and see what you're options are. Maybe you could meet the adoptive parents and still be a part of the baby's life ....