How to cure boyfriends immaturity. 24, in a band.?

Question

My [new] boyfriend and I have an amazing emotional relationship, physical part is good too.. but he's so immature. And by "so immature" I mean, he's SOOOOO immature. He's 24.. (i'm 19), and he's been though 5 years of college in another state, left college (with the intention of going back) to move here (AL) to persue a music career with a local band. It's been a year and a half now and he'll be 25 in October. In my opinion this is when a man/woman begin a career, this is when you start your "real life." He has a full time job, regardless, he stays out until the wee-hours in the am (has to be at work at 6 am) because he travels to TN to see friends. I just don't understand.. I've watched so many of his band [members] have to work in shitty jobs (IE managers at Hollister and AF) because they have to spend time in this band. I want him to make something of himself. All in all, in this relationship, love just doesn't seem to be enough.. I can't have a dead-beat boyfriend/husband.

Answer 1

Well I'm question how emotional the relationship is if he is so immature. I mean if his only purpose in life is the band, girlfriend, and friends wheres the deep emotional connection? I mean usually when people talk about emotional bonds it means there relating purposes with each other. So you should know that, thats who he is. Your not going to change that or stop that. Thats his purpose in life you can't change that. It seems that he loves the attention, and that he craves it enough to sabotage his own life. Theres no fixing that unless you can dive deeper into that mind of his to see why it is that he craves life that way and not the way you see he should. So you need to use that emotional relationship you got to get to the bottom of this. Thats really why you don't understand; isn't because what he does, doesn't make sense, its that he isn't making sense to you. Its not the what but the why you need to focus on. One big rule of wisdom in the game of love: Be Darn Careful Who You Love! So don't be to frustrate if you find that he isn't lining up with you. Besides I'm 25 we don't change much at this age unless someone lits a fire under our ***