long term engagements?

Question

Has anyone here gone through a long engagement (more than two years)? How did this work for you. Did you experience any problems?

Thanks for your information.

And what's the longest someone has been engaged with no problems?

Asking because my fiance and I plan for some time in 2010 because we want to finish college and have finances under control. I've had people cringe when they find out it's so long, and tell me it'll never work.. Just getting reassurance I guess.

and it's both of our decisions.. neither of us are financialy stable with college bills... and we feel that that would create more problems, fights over money, etc...

Answer 1

People are leery of long engagements because they think you're stalling or waiting for something better to come along without giving up what you have. Finishing school is a legitimate excuse not to get married right away. Some things are more important than your wedding day which, when you get right down to it, is just that...a day.

Best of Luck. If you don't want to get the "feel" from people, when they ask when the wedding is just say "after we graduate." Can't argue with that logic (though I'm sure some people will try...)

Answer 2

I recently got engaged and we are in a long distance relationship planning for 08 or later. I am also a college student with a lot of loans. Keep your eye on the prize that is your degree and not wanting to be financially stressed out. You guys are making a good decision. Yes it will be hard, hang out as much as you can and start picking things up for the wedding that way you can feel like you are making steps toward it

Answer 3

I did. I was engaged for 3 years. The marriage didn't last, though.

I guess, what matters is not so much the length of the engagement on a time scale, but how well a couple manages to get to know each other, and how much both of them actually stand behind their decision to marry.

If it's a long engagement, because of external factors (need to finish college etc.), I wouldn't worry too much.

If the engagement is long, because one of the partners can't make up his/her mind for years, I'd be out of there.

Answer 4

Usually an engagement doesn't go on for years, but that by no means is a barometer of the relationship.
The only downside might be that the relationship will settle into a 'living life' mode and the excitement start to wane.

I understand that you have a schedule & I think that's great. But life doesn't always do according to a plan. What happens if you turn up pregnant? We do know what causes that now. :)

It's you're decision when you want to make this relstionship permanent.

Answer 5

That depends on the reason for the long engagement. If it's to finish school as some have suggested, or to save for your dream wedding then I see no problem. Who's choice was it to have a long engagement? Yours or his? What are your reasons? It's an easy thing to say you'll get married 'eventually' but there's a whole different level of commitment implied in actually planning the wedding. Actions speak louder than words, maybe you aren't listening to the right thing.

Answer 6

I have been engaged for over two years. We are waiting until I graduate from college and have my job in lock so we can have the wedding of our dreams. We have not had any problems. Anything that has come up has only made us stronger. I believe in long engagements. You will have more time to see what your relationship is all about.

Good luck! :)

Answer 7

A long engagement is just useless - anything over a year or so. One changes so much in her 20s, you mature, you get new life experiences, etc. that you end up not wanting the same thing you wanted years before. Either just get married soon - no need for a fancy-dancy wedding if you and your guy haven't the money, or just stay dating, no need to stay engaged.

Answer 8

I just got engaged on Christmas EVe. We have planned the wedding for 3/1/08 which is anothe year away. So to me it is a very long engagment since me and my fiance have already dated 5 years, but I think they are good because it gives you time to really see what committment is going to be like.

Answer 9

It usually takes a year to plan a wedding. I have never been a big fan of anything longer then that. I have always felt that someone is stalling if that be the case. There are extenuating circumstances like finances and what not but I would be very leery of a long engagement.

Answer 10

I'm engaged right now and its been almost three years. We are getting married in June. Long engagements can be good because you really get to know more abou the person you are marrying. Also you have more time to plan the exact wedding you want.