My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. Anyways, when I get REALLY pi$sed at him, I'll forcefully push him away from me. He NEVER EVER used to lay a hand on me or (physically) hurt me in any way. However, lately he has been pushing me back, holding me against the wall, shaking me... I asked him why he's ok with being physically aggressive with me now, and not ever before, and he said it's because I shove him when I get mad... (Mind you this guy's a registered golden gloves boxer and is twice my weight...)
What do you think about this situation? Do you think he is justified in his actions to push me, hold me down, and shake me around when we're fighting because I start it?
2007-03-14 07:42:12 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, he has no right to be physical when you two are fighting, and the same applies to you. For you to hold a double standard because you are a female is completely wrong. Just because he is is a GG boxer and can, I am sure, handle your physical violence without any serious physical injury, does not mean you have the right to do it. You both seem to have some anger issues that need to be worked on.
2007-03-14 07:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by Lucas A 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You are a girl and that's totally chicken s*** of him to do that to you. To use it as an excuse for his agressive behavior. What if he totally loses it? When someone calls the cops what will he say if he accidentally shakes or pushes you too hard? That you pushed him. Big deal he'll get laughed at for sure. You need to put that in check quickly before things get out of hand. Tell him not to act like such a baby he can't take a hit from a girl what kind of "man" is he that's just chicken s***. You have to make a decision you either have to stop yourself or stop him.
2007-03-14 07:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you 2 don't stop this now its going to get more extreme. This a very bad cycle to start. You shouldn't think its OK for you to get physical with him but he is wrong to do it to you. There are alot of men who put up with physical abuse because they cant do anything back. You and him should have a talk regarding the abuse.
2007-03-14 08:06:21 · answer #3 · answered by Randa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the SAME thing has been happening to me, and no, i dont think its ok for him to do this, but you have just pushed him to the edge with it, you need to learn to express your anger in a non-physical way because you might just push him to REALLY hurting you. We all have rage within us and if we get pushed too far it can go really badly. Imagine getting pushes around constantly and just taking it, one day you are just gonna explode with anger and push back, if not more. Talk to him about this, i did with my boyfriend and now we have an agreement to separate from each other a few hours until we cool off.
2007-03-14 07:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
NO....this is not ok. It doesn't matter if you "pushed" him. He should not be touching you in that manner. You need to get away from him and break-up with him. Be careful though because he might escalate so have someone with you the next time you see him and tell him that you don't want to see him anymore......until he gets some serious help.
Then you need to get some help yourself to figure out why you are using violence. You might need some anger management yourself.
Good luck....but be careful....your are on the road to becoming a battered woman....you don't want that, for yourself or your future children.
2007-03-14 07:49:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jiahua D 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should not have started to push him and it is not okey for him to hit you. It is never good for you or your mate too laid your hands on each other that is not one for a good relationship it is better that you both stop your hitting and pushing or just find someone else.Will you started it and you ask why he is hitting you. No he is not justifed it is never justifed in one laiding hands on one. You need to seek some help and so does he and or just part ways.
2007-03-14 07:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, it's never okay for guys to use physical force on girls - better put a STOP to his behavior now...you don't want that to escalate to further violence!
As for you, my dear young lady, you have got to stop the "physical attacks" too...I know you are just being playfully vengeful...but cut it out, okay? Men (macho as they are) do get physically hurt too. They will never admit it but they sure can retaliate! So, redirect your energy where it would count most (the bed, maybe).
SMILE! No more pushing/hitting, okay?
2007-03-14 07:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, there should be respect from BOTH of you. Even though you push him away that still does not give him the right to touch u. Set some boundaries. If you dont like to be pushed around then dont push him!! Look for another way to release ur anger!!
2007-03-14 07:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Classic Beauty 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
This is not normal in a relationship. Its never justified for anyone to start hitting in a relationship. I would sit down and really discuss whether the relationship is worth the time. Sounds like things are unraveling to me.
2007-03-14 07:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by Devdude 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What in the world makes you think that you can push your boyfriend? Did you know that is called "abuse"? You all need some counseling. You've given him the ok to push and shove and that's something a man doesn't ever need!
2007-03-14 07:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋