I have a very serious question about the behavior of my daughter.?

Question

I am very worried about my daughter who is 3 1/2 years old. For the past few months (and it is getting worse) at almost every mealtime, bedtime, or even when she has to go to the bathroom (pee), she cries... a lot. Sometimes it starts with just her seeing something on her plate that she does not want , or just a request to sit on my lap during dinner. Its like she looks for a reason to be upset and then cries, screams, and sometimes to the point of throwing up from coughing and crying. If we see her start to cross her legs like she has to go to the bathroom, we quickly rush her off to pee, and if she resists, we sit her on the toilet to go. All the while she cries saying she does not want to go. Something else she does, either from this or because of this, is ask for something ( a blanket, her doll) and then screams that she does not want it when it is given to her. If we take it away like she says, she cries that she wants it back. These sessions could go on for up to an hour.

Answer 1

Wow, it sounds like your daughter is definitely having alarming behavior problems. Have you spoken to your Pediatrician about this? I would definitely set up an appointment and ask for a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician who specializes in behavior issues. They can be a wonderful resource.

Meanwhile, I would try a sticker reward chart. Make a grid, with days of the week at the top, and behaviors along the side. For each day she exhibits good behavior in each area, allow her to put a sticker there. You can put things like "sitting at your own seat during dinner" and "going to the potty with no fussing", etc. Some of my friends give their child a toy or doll after they reach a certain number of stickers. I usually wait until the end of the week, and then we count up the stickers for my boys, and I give them 5 cents per sticker. They love putting it in their piggy banks, and when they get enough money, they can add to their ridiculous Power Ranger collection (ugh!). But they love it and it has been a great way for me to redirect unwanted behavior with my boys.

Good luck to you, mom!! And if you want to see an example of the chart I use, e-mail me (on my profile) and I can send you an example. :)