He HATES me...?

Question

my EX best friend and are a mess...
We stopped being BEST friends about 1 year ago when my boyfriend at the time left the country... i started getting feelings for him after about 3 months and didnt tell him at first. i left for the summer to see my boyfriend and came back and everything was totally different.

we fight ALL the time. and for the past 7 months would mess around all the time when we were drunk on the weekends (i am 20 and he is 21) and today he said he knows i talk about him and he is over it (i only said that i had feelings for him--and never told him!)

we pretty much ended the relationship... is there anyways to make things better cause i was falling for him and now i am heart broken. should i pretend i dont care AT ALL? or try to get his friendship back again???

Answer 1

I have NEVER seen friends that had sex go back to being 'just friends.' The fact you fight a lot shows you both still have a lot of emotional and probably sexual feeling for each other.

There are a few things that you do not make clear.
Did you break up with your boyfriend before you started 'messing around'? Doesn't show much respect for your friend or your boyfriend if you just use him for a cheap thrill and kick him to the curb whenever the other guy is in town. If the guy really had feelings for you, it would explain why he is so angry. Who would want to be an emotional dumping ground AND a human dildo that gets tossed back in the drawer whenever the boyfriend skates into town? Would you really be excited to listen to him talk as a friend about how hard it is being away from the gal he really wants to be with after having sex with you? Wow, complete rejection and the chance to feel really used. That's what friends are for, right? Please correct me if you broke up before with your boyfriend before you 'messed around.'

So now it is time for you to put on your big girl panties and decide:
Do you love this guy?
1) if so tell him and ask him how he feels.
a. If he feels the same, tell your boyfriend (if you
haven't dupmed/been dumped already). Both laugh
at how silly you were and try to live happily ever
after.
b. If he doesn't because he is too hurt and angry, tell
him you are sorry and hope he finds happiness.
2) If you don't love him then skip straight to the 'I'm sorry
hope you have a nice life scenario. Live and learn. Once
the sex genie is out of the frienship bottle you can't get
him back in. You may do the superficial 'Hi how ya' doing'
once in a while but it will never feel completly comfortable.

Just in case you really are too naive, for the future reference men divide their female friends into three categories.
1) Women they want to have sex with
2) Women they really like talking to until they can have sex
with them.
3) Women more than 40 years older than they are, weigh
over 800lbs, have hideous deformaties or some other
limiting factor which physically or emotionally eliminates
them from the possability of having sex. (Note this
category is extremely broad and certain fetishists actually
pursue women in the categoreies above for the sex)
This guy is feeling totally dissed for some reason. Even if you don't post it here, maybe you should look at your actions and think how you would feel in his shoes.

Answer 2

Sounds messed up. I think you should move on to make new friends. I think there is too much water under the bridge to try and repair this once Best Friend, once Boy Friend relationship. Why would you want to, anyway? Someone who fights with you all the time, messes around, talks about you? You need healthy relationships with people who will boost you up. I say, Move On.

Answer 3

Get the hell over yourself and move on. It was messed up situation to begin with. Honestly.

You are 20 for christs sake.

Answer 4

why would you "mess around" and say you were friends.. friends don't sleep together..