I'm not over the fact that my boyfriend lost his virginity before me.?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. A few months ago we decided it was the right time to have sex. I do not regret I love this man more then ever. When we first met he told me about how when he was younger 2-3 years ago he made a mistake. He was drunk and at a friends one night when he met up with a random chick "doesn't know her name never did" and had sex. When he woke up the next morning he said he was upset with himself and decided not to do it again until he met the one he loved. Over the last 2-3 years he's made a lot of postive changes in his life. As a girlfriend, I feel good that he could tell me about this and be open and honest with me but it still bothers me to know the man I love had sex with someone else even before me. Its been over a year that Ive known but for some reason it still hurts. I've talked to him about it before and he's always concerned. He's spent hours crying to me on the phone that he wishes he could change it. how could i get over this?

Answer 1

Sweetie people are always going to make mistakes and I'm sure you've done something that maybe would hurt him. What I would advise is to forget about the past, cause there is nothing you can do to change it. Focus on your wonderful future that you two are going to have. Ok so his first wasn't with you, and alot of people have experienced that. Keep in mind he will never remember how he felt as he will with you! Love him unconditionally and he will show you the same. Get over the past and look forward to you future!

Answer 2

It will probably bother you for a long time. But there's nothing either of you can do about it now and it sounds like he really regrets it. Be thankful that he didn't try to pressure you into sex before you were ready and that he only wants to be with you. Even though it bothers you, I'd suggest not bringing it up anymore. He's obviously as upset about it as you are, if not more. Don't let this cause strain in your relationship. Give him a big hug and tell him how much you love him and how lucky you are to have him. There's no need to dwell on the past.

Answer 3

u need to accept the fact that it was before you two were together. he cannot change the past, but he can change the future. jus make sure that YOU are the last girl hes with, and make sure YOU are the one he never regrets. how bad would u feel about urself he ended up crying to someone else that he regrets YOU? itd suck. so try to let it go..it'll always hurt, u'll always feel somewhat jealous that you werent his first. but he admits he regrets her, and wishes to change it. so he must care about you alot for that to happen. most guys brag bout how many girls they been with. u got a good man on ur side. dont let him go. but dont push him away by thinkin bout it all the time.
it was a mistake. but YOU'RE NOT. over time, u'll let it go. it was a one time thing...but u seem permanent. hold ur faith in you two, not in the past.
good luck n much love for you n ur man. =D

Answer 4

i dont think that you should be so upset over something like this. he made a mistake and a lot of people do. but atleast he said that he didnt do it again because he was waiting for the person that he loved. he loves you girl and you better not let someone like that go. he must really care about you. he cried come on give him a chance and everything will work out ok.

Answer 5

I was in the same position (no pun intended) with my current partner.

He has had 2 sexual relationships, and I can admit, it hurts to know that perhaps one of those women were better than me in the bedroom..

I soon got over it, a couple of months into the relationship.
I use to think..

"Well, they couldn't be that good, else he'd still be with them"

I do question him sometimes, I ask him to rate me in the bedroom, just for a joke, so it doesn't seem like I'm nagging..

Just remember, your boyfriend has you now, and you have him, no one else.. So forget them other people, they're in the history.. He obviously didn't care much about her if he can't remember her name :)

Answer 6

You willl never ever find another such a honest man like this 1
if you leave him you might find some one good looking more than this1 but he will will cheat on you and you will never even know about this this guy never will cheat and never did he did it before you met and he told you about it he could of never even told you about it and you wouldnt even know about it
dont bother talking about it anymore you will foget and have a happy life together

Answer 7

You personally need to get over it. What ever happened before you should not matter. He was not with you when it happened so it is none of your concern. How old are you? You think you will be with this guy forever? What are you going to do when things dont work out and you break up? Are you going to be telling the next guy that you had lost your virginity and have to hear him cry about it to you? You need to grow up alittle.

Answer 8

No easy way to get over it but remember it was before he knew you and he has been faithful to since the two of you have been together and also hasn't been with anyone since that time. Take confidence that he felt he could at least share it with you.

He could have said he never been with anyone and you wouldn't have known.

Answer 9

And you are prepared to risk losing this wonderful man for this reason?????
A) He was drunk. B) It was before you. C) Get over it!

Why on earth are you making such a big deal over it? You should feel bad if he was having sex with someone while he is with you!!!

Answer 10

Your obviously young and insecure...everyone has a history. His history is what has made him the person you love today. So, look at it that way. You will make choices in your life you won't be proud of but you learn from that and grow to be a better wiser individual...Good luck