I'm very drawn to attractive fit women. I though haven't had any success with capturing their interest; I'm not ugly, but not overly handsome, and my physique needs a little work. Plus, I'm a bit of an introvert, so no I'm not Mr. Excitement.
Once I'm working again, and have some of my stuff in check, I'll look to hire a personal trainer.
In the past, I have felt good vibes from women I'm not really attraced to (obese, horsefaced ones, bad hair, not toned, loud, overly hyper) and am now (I'm in my mid 30s) wondering if I should heed other guys' advice and just go out with such ladies since I'm not Brad Pitt or Arnold when he was young, and definitely don't have an abundance of $. Part of me says sure do it; do you want to die alone, and possibly, at the same time, end the family line, since you'll be single with no kids? The other part says "well, that's dishonest and how do you know you'll over time find her appealing?" I'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks
2007-03-14 06:15:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you all for your input! I look forward to picking the Best Answer :)
2007-03-14 12:49:54 · update #1
first, find out who you are... who are you that you are able to classify someone as below or above your status... once you have a list of reasons why you are better or worse than the women you have met, find a person who is no worse, yet no better than you deserve, then you won't have any problems... btw, i'm being sarcastic... when you find the one you want to be with the rest of your life, you won't even have a category for her. you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone you're not, and to get with someone or be with someone you don't really want to be with is not only unfair to you, but is REALLY unfair to that person...
2007-03-14 06:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by ragefury 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your only concerned about outside appearances than you may be alone for quite some time. Outsides change on a daily basis and if you exclude some just becuase they dont meet the "barbie doll" standards, you may be missing out on a great person.
I say the best place to meet a potential partner is by fixing yourself up first. If you are at your best than others will take notice. You said you were going to hit the gym and get a trainer- that is a good start.
You shouldnt have to accept second best but you should also not set your bar so high that only 4 or 5 women in the world can meet them. I say sit down and write down 5 things you would like to have in a partner with the exception of outward appearances. Those things should be the things that you will not bend on- for example- if you want a religious woman or one who is active in the community, then write that down. If you want a college educated woman or a financially saavy or successful woman write that.
Once you are done with that list write the things you have to offer a woman- put a star by those things you need to improve on. Work on those things.
Side note though- if you want a successful woman you must be in her same mindset- such as you are financially stable yourself. A job is a great thing to have
2007-03-14 06:24:54 · answer #2 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say you're attracted to attractive women, but what you have been doing isn't working. At the same time you shouldn't have to settle for something that you don't want. So here's the solution; Change what you're doing.
Don't settle for women that you don't find attractive, but don't use it as an excuse. Money isn't an issue as I NEVER EVER EVER "take a woman out" on the first date. I suggest getting to know someone before you plan to spend any money, go to a coffee shop or a book store. Don't make it sound like you have nothing to offer.
If you're interested in interesting people, make yourself more interesting... If you're interested in attractive people make YOURSELF more attractive. That doesn't mean that you have to change everything, but try grooming yourself different, maybe a new haircut, cologne, shave or change the way your facial hair looks, get some different duds. You have been exercising lately so you're on the right track. Only thing that you might need is a boost of confidence. This is my realm of expertise, so feel free to shoot me an email.
2007-03-15 21:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by Waddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are quite shallow when it comes to women. You remind me of my brother, (except he has money) he's 45 now and still single and that's not looking like it's going to change any time soon. He's a great guy but just can't get past this need to have a really attractive woman.
Maybe you need to spend time with a lot of women and get to know them. Stop looking for a partner for fear that you will die childless and alone otherwise you're likely to end up taking the next remotely suitable offer, which won't necessarily lead to a sucessful relationship, and then you'll be bitter, childless and alone.
Speak to as many women as you possible can. Find out everything you can about them, without seeming like a stalker. Don't disregard them because they are not potential mates. If you get into the habit of appreciating women just as people you may find the right one.
Of course the best way to meet lots and lots of women is to take up dance classes. I have no idea why more guys don't do this. Women love guys that'll dance, you could be as ugly as sin and have two left feet but somebody will still dance with you.
Anyway, good luck in your search.
2007-03-14 06:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
young women human beings/Older guy: sure, this has been the case because the break of day of time. adult men can "act their age" all they want because age would not count number adverse to them. Older women human beings, on the different hand, are "on the shelf" by ability of mid-30s and many basically provide up attempting to electrify others and do what they want, considering that they figure that's too overdue for them in any case so may besides have exciting being on my own perpetually. OR the truly determined ones try not straightforward to act youthful in a very last ditch attempt to nevertheless attempt to get a guy, considering that that's in undemanding words what adult men want. Double usual, that's why.
2016-12-02 00:06:07 · answer #5 · answered by thetford 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not trying to be mean but I think your concentration on physique is an indication of shallowness. Now, that is NOT a crime - but complicates your search a little. I don't blame you for being attracted to fit women but do create a boundary for what is excessive fitness. You'd need a lot more in common than just exercise to find somebody to keep. I dated somebody who was a fitness freak - and I do not miss him. Very judgmental - know it all is what many tend to be. So...keep it mind and good luck.
2007-03-14 06:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your focus is all superficial....by you saying you don't want to die alone, that leads me to believe that you are thinking it's time to settle down, right? Pick someone whom you enjoy being with, who makes you laugh and who you have things in common with....that is all that matters. Looks fade......gravity takes over and everything sags...wrinkles set it. What you are left with is what is on the inside. If you remain focused on the exterior you will never find someone who truly suits you.....and then you will be one of those hopeless men who keep trading in their wife every 10 years for a younger model. 'Beauty is only skin deep'...no truer words have been spoken :-)
2007-03-14 06:23:27 · answer #7 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're expecting things that you don't have yourself. It's not fair to want more than you can give back. I suggest not focusing on looks as much. You don't have to be with an obese woman or a model woman..find something in between
2007-03-14 06:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by *VS* 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just look for the right one not the hot one
2007-03-14 06:18:20 · answer #9 · answered by g_rant07 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋