My 19-month old will not go to sleep without being held till he falls asleep. Help!!?

Question

Since he was born, he fell asleep every night while I was nursing him, and when I stopped nursing at 10 months, he still wanted to be held till he fell asleep. Now, it's still the same and I cannot stand to hear him scream like he does when I try to put him in his bed to fall asleep. He won't even lay down in his bed, he just stands there and screams and screams, no matter what i do. As soon as I pick him up, he's asleep in two minutes. Will this change once I put him in a toddler bed?

Answer 1

Well I'm going to tell you what most people probally wouldn't.Hold him,rub his back,sing to him.The boding period is very strong and it will end all to soon anyways,Before you know it he will be older and he'll be sleping in his own bed,going to the bathroom on his own and you will ask yourself should I have let him cry all those nights,should I have heald him more as a baby?I have a 4 yr old son who still wakes up and crawls in bed with me EVERY night.He is my last child,I've had a tubal after him since there was almost 11yrs between my children,I didn't want another 11yrs to go by and get pregnant again.I am now blessed with a 15yr old daughter and a 4yr old son.Be patient,time will go by way to fast and you won't be able to change anything.Try to be calm and allow him to fall asleep with you and then put him in his bed.Nothing but a close bondage and respect will come from it.I hope I have helped,although I'm sure thats not quite what you had in mind.

Answer 2

No, it won't. I know you hate to hear him cry but letting him cry is the only thing that will work. There are two different approaches you can try. The first is to leave the room for five minutes, then ten minutes, then fifteen. The other is to stay in the room until he gives up. One night you sit right by the bed, the next, a little further away, then a little further, until you finally get all the way out. Believe it or not, this really only takes a few days until the crying is greatly reduced. I'd do it now because once you put him in a toddler bed, he can get out of it.

Answer 3

Our son was much the same way, we ALWAYS held him or laid with him. Until he started climbing out of the crib and we changed to a toddler bed. Then we found other healthier methods of getting him to sleep. Most of all we had a routine to go with the new methods. We would, and still do, read to him and then turn out lights after a set amount of time and start to sing songs to him. If he gets up or anything we stop the activities until he lays down. Usually he falls asleep within 5 minutes anymore and we never get to the signing part. He will be 3 in may. If you don't want to read or sing (while he is in HIS bed laying down) than you will have to just walk away and let him scream... he will lay down eventually and go to sleep, if you do this every night without going back in (unless of course he gets out of his bed, monitors are wonderful!) he will eventually get in the habit of going to bed on his own. I do however highly sugest the reading because it gives more benifits then just getting them to sleep! Good luck!

Edit: when i say gets out of bed I mean more so if he is getting into trouble, playing and what not.. otherwise let him fall asleep where ever his head lays down and then put him in bed.

Answer 4

My son did the same thing. We had to figure out a way to fix it at 21 months when his little sister was born, but it was a screaming match at first. We tried sitting next to his bed with him, but he would scream, we tried closing him in his room and letting him scream it out, but he would fall sleep next to the door which wasn't good and then he learned how to open the door less than a week after we started that tactic. Definately didn't work.
That's when we started thinking about other things that calmed him down. We would have him sit on the couch nicely while we watched a video or a favorite tv program(usually Blue's Clues- On Demand with Comcast has it, or buy the videos of his favorite cartoons) sometimes he'd be so tired he'd fall asleep during it, but otherwise we would turn off the tv afterwards and he would have to stay on the couch unless he wanted to go to bed. It would take awhile some nights, but eventually he would fall asleep by himself on the couch since he had nothing else to do. Then we would bring him to bed.
It got to be annoying, but at least it worked. Then a couple months after his 2 yr. birthday he had gotten the routine down so much that we decided to start telling him it was bedtime after 10 minutes with the tv off and he would get up and walk with us to his bedroom w/o much fuss. Now we don't even have to tell him, he's 2.5 years and when his show is over he tells us "Ok, bed". It took awhile for us to get this far, but I'm thankful everyday for not having to hear screaming at bedtime every night. :)

Answer 5

I would talk to his doctor about it. Usually they have good tips that could help you. I know my kids' doctor told me that to let them scream isn't a bad thing. They need to learn to self-sooth, and when you hold them to fall asleep, they don't learn it. It might work better if you start a routine at bedtime, one that allows time for him to know what is going to happen next. Then when the routine is done, put him in bed and let him cry. It's hard, but I had to do it with my youngest. It took about a week of her crying every night, and she still does sometimes, but it's only for a few minutes now.

He will probably cry for almost an hour or more. That's normal for the first few times. What you can do is go in every 10-15 minutes and reassure him that you are still there, and he's fine. It won't be fun for a few nights, but in the long run, it will help you. It's so hard to listen to them cry, but if you keep giving in, he will know that you will come and get him and he won't learn how to calm himself. Don't worry, when he gets tired enough, he'll lay down and go to sleep. Just know that doing this is the best thing for him. Good luck!!!!

Answer 6

It likely won't change until YOU change it. Its not a big deal but if you don't like doing it anymore then you need to put a stop to it. It will take a few nights of making him fall asleep without you holding him, but eventually he will. My daughter did the same thing until we made her sleep in her bed. The first few nights she eventually fell asleep in front of the bedroom door where she had last been crying. It only took a few nights and she had no problems after that. Good luck and be strong.

Answer 7

It likely will not change. He'll just be able to get up at will. As hard as it is, LET HIM CRY IT OUT. I'm a mother of four, and I followed the normal advice with my first two--but them to bed awake and let them fall asleep on their own, even if it means a few tears. With my third, though, I caved. I did what you're doing, and now she's two and a half and still won't fall asleep on her own. She does go to sleep in her own bed, but ends up in my bed before the night is out. It's CRAZY, and you do not want to end up there. My two month old is already learning to fall asleep on his own, because I went back to the techniques that work. Follow a strict bedtime routine (bath, story, etc.), put him to bed drowsy but not asleep, and then LEAVE. Let him cry if necessary. You'll thank yourself later.

Answer 8

Unfortunately it is a habit he has grown accustomed to. I know it is time consuming and not always convenient but my advice is to enjoy it while you can! It won't be long and he will be off and running and not giving you the time of day! :o)

My granddaughter was the same way. She is 22 and a half months old and she has only recently started to go to bed on her own and not always yet will she do that. Good luck! You have managed to get GREAT bonding time in with your son!

PS A toddler bed will probably not solve it. My older two granddaughters had them and just seemed to want to get up a lot from them which is a whole different problem..

Answer 9

My little brother was like this. My mom breastfeed to and he would not stay in his crib mom had to nurse him to sleep every night. it got alot worse when he hit the toddler bed, he wound up sleeping with my mom every night until he turned five. when i had my daughter i started to let her fall asleep while being held, i did this until i think she was eight months old. Then i started to put her down while she was just drowsy then i would lay her in the crib and just pat her a little on her tummy until she'd fall asleep. I did this for about two months until she was used to her crib and then i just started leaving when she was just a little more awake each night, until i could just lay her down after she ate her last meal each night with her stuffed toy and blanket and leave. The only time i have trouble with her now is at nap time, she really hates going down for one of those:)

Answer 10

time to be strong . i know it will be tough. put him in his crib turn the monitor off and shut his door. break this now or you will have no control over him at all right now hes calling the shots. stop this now before it gets worse put him in his bed with some soft music and close the door.
the toddler bed will make it worse he will get up and come out to you,i would wait til after age two to move him to a toddler bed