Premature release, Performance anxiety AND a small unit.... What to do?

Question

Please don't tell me to just leave him because he has to be the best person I have ever dated....

But this IS sort of a problem.... The small thing I can work around but sometimes he has performance anxiety and can't get it up. And when he can he doesn't even last 10 minutes!

It is still a new relationship so I can't yet call it an ongoing problem but it is definately an every time so far problem. In the time that he does last I can't even get close to an orgasm due to the fact he just isn't there for a long enough period of time.

What can I / we do to fix this?

PLZ HELP ME!!!!

I am very understanding of the situation I always tell him that it is OK, that it doesn't bother me. Also, when I feel like he is trying to hard I tell him to relax....Just relax and go with the flow.

Answer 1

The performance anxiety (can't get it up) issue may be solved by viagra or something similar. Perhaps being that it is still a "new" relationship he is nervous about being intimate with you. Maybe he just needs some more time toget completely comfortable with you.

As for the premature release perhaps some kind of desensityzing lube/gel would help. It would make him a bit less sensitive to the stimulation on his "unit" and help him last longer. Or if none of this works perhaps you could stop focusing on having an orgasm during intercourse & ask him to try other methods to help you. Maybe some kind of adult toys to bring into the mix so when he can't perform to bring you to climax he can at least use alternate methods to make you feel good.

As for the size of his "unit" ... perhaps you could casually suggest some kind of enlarging pump or natural supplement to enlarge him.

If he is as great as you say he is then you should work with him on it. Make suggestions on new techniques & things of that nature. There are always ways around things like that, you just have to do it together & be there for each other. That's the most important thing.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

There are several things that you can do. First if he has performance anxiety, then you need to make sure that you are reassuring him in bed. Second go to a reputable book store and get a book on methods to assist "training" someone to prevent premature ejaculation, these are exercises that you will have to do together, so make sure that you are supportive and encouraging. You should definetly not be shy, be open and honest, and caring. Work together on the solution. Secondly--invest in some assistive sexual devices (toys) to help him bring you to orgasm before or after he has ejaculated. There is no reason that you should not be satisfied because he is a little quick draw mcgraw. Show him how to pleasure you, or pleasure yourself and let him watch (that might be a big turn on for him too--it is for most guys). Work together, it isn't a crisis, and there are many solutions to the problem. If worse comes to worse (no pun intended LOL), then you could try some performance enhancing medication, or erectile disfunction medication such as viagra, cialis or the like. Good Luck

Answer 3

You don't need help, he does. Tell him that he should take care of you first, either manually or orally, then you will take care of him. He probably has prostate problems, which could cause this premature ejaculation you mention. You didn't say how old the two of you are, but this sounds like a late thirty problem. If he isn;t considerate enough to take care of you, he isn't such a prize. Sometimes these guys are in a power struggle, and that is their way of dominating a woman. Men want quick satisfaction, so he may have been taking care of himself for a long time, and doesn;t realize how this is affecting your physical condition. So long as you are just serving him, you will have a congestion which can be painful. What do you get in return for this sexual servicing??Best wishes

Answer 4

Okay, I have been in this situation before and the issues with performance anxiety and his premature ejaculation are both psychological and perpetual. He can't perform because he has low self esteem about his manhood (nothing he can do about the size, but something he CAN do about how he uses it). Becuase he has self esteem issues, he gets anxiety because he fears failing (in this case not getting it up at all or ejaculating before he can satisfy you) and that of course leads to a flacid penis or loss of erection. If you free his mind, his dick will follow...seriously. You have to help him build confidence...talk with him while you get him excited, tell him he's a wonderful man, you can't wait to feel him inside you, that you love being with him and only him. If you see he's getting excited, slow down what you are doing and talk soothingly to him. Okay, now he has to play a part in this as well. He doesn't have any dick control and therefore doesn't know where his "point of no return is". He should, when alone, massage himself to the point of ejaculation, but before he reaches that point, he should pull back and stop. The first couple of times he'll try and fail, meaning he will ejaculate even though he's stopped moving his hands. But if he keeps it up (at least once per day) he'll begin to see where his "point" is and will be able to control it. Then after awhile, you can play this too, you massage him (he'll be more excited by you than by himself alone) and don't critize or seem disappointed when he ejaculates early - don't look to satisfy yourself during these sessions, because that will only lead to you both being disappointed and will not help the cause. After some time he SHOULD be better. If he isn't he may need to seek medical advice - but beware, this is a VERY fragile area for men. He may end up blaming you and breaking up with you just to assage his own ego. Now, what about you? All we've talked about thus far is him...you have to be satisfied too. You have to ask yourself that if all this doesn't work, can you really commit to a sexless or unsatisfying relationship? In the end, I couldn't do it. I tried to help an ex-boyfriend of mine in the manners above (I researched this on the internet and asked advice from my doctor) and though he was willing to help and didn't lash out, I just wasn't being satisfied and eventually the relationship fell apart. But I think more than the sex, it was that the more he failed, the worse he felt and then I started to despise him. He becamse weak and timid and pitiful - ugh! Anyway, though sex is not the MOST important thing in a relationship, it is as important as anything else. I truly wish you both luck.

Answer 5

He has performance anxiety issues. He lacks confidence in his ability to sexually satisfy you. The more he thinks/worries about not being "premature", the more premature he becomes. You could say, he is his own worst enemy. Look at it this way, he has probably disappointed every single partner he has had sex with. I guess if you don't give up on him, he eventually will become less anxious and last a little bit longer, but it ain't gonna get any bigger. Hey, why don't you buy him a big ol' strapon and tell him to do you until you orgasm. At least then, he'll know what happens when it's done correctly.

Answer 6

Try playing with your self as you are having intercourse, or if that dosent work, have him go down on you for a while until you have a few orgasms. (really make him pleasure you until you both start having sex. One you are pleasured to a good extent then it shouldnt matter how long he lasts.Or another option would be to have sex and then have sex again a few minutes later then he should last a little longer then 10 minutes. sounds like you are blessed or he dosnt know what the He** he is doing. But do not leave him because sex is not a really big part in the relationship. Abstanence makes the heart grow fonder.

Answer 7

Give it some time. And if its an ongoing problem let him know in a nice way and there are medications that can help with all of this, except for the small unit issue. But if you love him none of that matters in the end. If you are not sexually satisfied get some toys that the two of you can enjoy together.

Answer 8

There are a lot of other ways to get a woman reach orgasm fast.
Talk with him ways of enticing you before making out.
Teach him to tease and have some foul play till you are too horny to take it anymore.
He won't last long just as you said but if you two work together and you have been near climax, I believe both of you can reach orgasm at the same time.
I hope this solves your (his = yours) sex problem cause sex is just part of a relationship and if it goes well, it can help the relationship too.
Good luck And Have fun trying!!

Answer 9

Being small is genetic - no longer something you're able to do approximately that. I recommend you place money into some intercourse toys which you will play with jointly. He can get you a number of of how there employing the toys, then he can connect in for the previous couple of minutes. There are techniques aimed in direction of prolonging activity which you will attempt. One is to get him to the factor the place he's approximately to orgasm - he will comprehend whilst - and then right this moment end all touching - neither of you touch him till the sensation has subsided. you opt to no longer carry, cuddle, caress or do the rest at this factor - you withdraw all touch. Then, whilst he feels the 2d has handed you may resume play. over the years, he will build as much as a factor the place he can final longer. so some distance as stress is going - nicely, he in all probability feels your unhappiness on the 2d, that's what reasons the stress. as quickly as you get busy with some toys and workouts, that concern will gradually pass away.

Answer 10

Try more foreplay. If he can't use the unit to make you orgasm, he can definitely use his fingers or a dildo. And doing that to you should help him get hard. Try being a little more creative. Do some stuff yourself. Maybe he has performance anxiety because you are relying on him to do all of the work.

Good luck, girl!!