I need help in a decision on being a teens Doula, Can anyone give me some advise?

Question

I am asking here because most likely your pregnant or a mother. And have knowledge that will help a mother who is going to have to multi task.

I just got a call about a teen mother in need of a free Doula. The only other option for her is a mother that helps out teen mothers in her spare time.

I am now studying for postnatal and I have some health issues but they seem to be getting better. I have one more test to have at the Nuclear heart Center tomorrow.
If the results are ok this will free me up. So I do plan for sure waiting to hear the results before I answer them.

This is my issue. I have to study, be a mother and have many yard and home updates to do. Being a teen she will need more help, *double* and I will be on call with her. I am one to put my all into things.
Do I put my education back and more income aside for her? Do you believe things happen for a reason?
Just writing this is helping me. But i would like some advise on how to decide. Should I call her first?

Answer 1

I understand your concerns. It's going to be time consuming and stressful as I can imagine. But my one thought of advice is it never hurts to do a good deed, esp. for someone who really needs it after you determine she does. Maybe you can see if there is a local support group or church or charity willing to pay for her services so you can assist her. The experience is usually always very rewarding. You may turn her life around, and she may definitely need the support, esp from someone whose already a mother and trained to provide spiritual comfort for mothers to be. Her family situation could be horrific and having that one person there for support could be the only thing keeping her from giving up and aborting the baby. I'm not trying to guilt you into helping her, just reminding you that some good may come out of the experience. As we often get wrapped up in our own hectic lives we forget to slow down and think about how we can impact the lives of others.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are doing the right thing by talking about your problem. First of all, I think that you've been chosen here. You're obviously gifted, the question is, what will you do with your gift?

Sometimes things can come up that cause us to not take action when we could have. Personally, I spend 4 hours a day in my car, 9 hours at work, and about 6 hours sleeping. Outside of that, I have to find time for my wife and kids, and I'm going to school for my degree. I think of how many times someone was probably reaching out to me, but I was too caught up in my own stress to help.

Personally, I think you should help this girl in any way you can. If you can't dedicate the time and energy she'll need, maybe you can help her find an avenue to someone that can.

Wait until after your test, since you have to know the results from that first, and then just look in your heart and you'll know what you should do.

I hope everything works out for you, I'm sure it will!

Answer 3

Sweets, this is something you need to weigh the options on and pray about. There is no such thing as coincidence in life, but don't over load yourself with too many things to handle.

This may be a blessing for you to help her. If you can't do it, maybe you have another person you can put her in contact.

Truly, you need to pray about whether or not to assist her. Speaking to her would be a great idea to help you decide. The Spirit will guide you if you ask to know what you should do.
Good luck!

Answer 4

I think you should set up a meeting with her and figure out if she is going to require more attention than you can give her. It sounds to me like you are a very busy woman with your own family and life right now to take on the responsibility of someone elses issues right now. It can be pretty scary I'm sure for a teen mom, but there are plenty of programs out there that can assist her in every way needed. I do believe everything happens for a reason. Everyday of our lives is like a test, more and more obstacles that we need to try and overcome. My advice to you is to weigh out your pro's and con's. Is helping her is going to delay your education, finances, and time with your own family ? Or, will helping her actually help you in some way? You seem like a very wonderful woman, if you are considering putting your own needs on delay for someone elses. I'm sure you will make the right decision. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would suggest you speak to her and assess her needs. Try to evaluate whether the time and attention she will require is more than you can give right now. Whatever you decide, be sure to put your health first... if you are not well then you cannot take care of yourself or your family. Then determine if you can afford to take on a free client. If you can't maintain your home and lifestyle then maybe you should reconsider. Be honest with yourself and the client. Giving her a straight answer early on will allow her time to explore other options if you can't do it.

Answer 6

If of any faith, you can do asking in that direction and get
probably all the help you really need.

Beyond that, lay out ALL pros and cons and "To thine
ownself be true".

Answer 7

I agree with the person ahead of me. Discuss her needs with her. I don't think that it needs to be a full time job, but if you feel like you can't give enough then don't feel bad not doing it.

Answer 8

I think you should try to help her find someone else to be her free doula. Someone who won't be sacrificing so much to help her.

Answer 9

Wow, that is something.......the only advise this mom has is that if you get your education you will ultimately be able to help more people.....JMO