family probz...should inoo about my real family??

Question

well im 14 and living with my nan and step grandad.. when i was 8 my auntie told me something that changed my life she told me that my real mam didnt want me and she left me with her mam and her step dad.. i can remember when i use to got visit them on a saturday but only slightly carnt remember what they look like or neything.. but i was 8 whn i was told this and had tryed tyo forget it because my auntie told me not to say neything. but back last month i found a letter from my real mam saying she has 2 children and living in west sussex but i carnt under stand why she didnt want me or why she left but i sitll not surposed to no about this and i dont no what to say or do..???

well i am realli up set in my real mam and don't no what to do because im onli 14 and she has another 3 children ages 3 8 and 10 and she could keep them but not me i dont understand her actions and why she has only chose now to get in touch

my aunt told me not to say neything to my nan about this thought and my nan don't no that i no about this..

Answer 1

Your auntie was cruel to say that. I think. Maybe she thoughtyou should know.
There ae many reasons why people give up their children and very few of those reasons ar because they don't love their children.
sometimes it is the hardest decision you can ever make. I think yo need to speak to your nan about this and find out what happened.
It might be that she thought you were better off with your nan. There's a lot of damage done by your aunt, so I think you should actually go and find out by yourself.
This is a heavy burden for such a young child to bear. I am really cross with your auntie!
But I know that you have carried it for so long. Try and get to the bottom of it. You do have a right to know, because it involves you.

Answer 2

I think your Auntie made a bad mistake, grown-ups do make mistakes. I would start asking my Nan about my Mom. Your Mom maybe thought that living with your Nan was the best thing and she probably wanted you to have allot of love and family with you. This is too hard for you to hold inside and your Nan will probably understand. Maybe you also have an older friend or preacher who you can talk to. My mom and I will be praying for you:)

My Aunt is taking care of her granddaughter because her daughter is caught up in some bad things with bad people she would not let my Aunt take the other three kids and now she is fighting for custody because the state removed the children from the home because my cousin did not know how to be a good mom.

Answer 3

The problem is that you do know, or think you know... but not for sure...
so, although you were told not to let on that you know...
how much longer can you pretend not to know, meanwhile nearly bursting with the need to talk & communicate with your family, so that you understand your mom?
Do I understand correctly that your mom is now in contact with you?
Do you have her address? Or your aunt's address?
If so, you could write, asking for a fuller explanation. You could say this uncertainty is causing you unhappiness.

You don't say if you are happy where you are now, with the people looking after you. Perhaps those details could be added to your letter?

Whatever the outcome is, don't be upset for too long about this. There are many reasons why a mom HAS TO give up her child & I am (almost) certain when she asked someone she loves & trusts to care for you, that she did so with a very heavy heart and a HUGE PRAYER...

Believe you were loved, that you are loved, & you will be OK.
XXX
PS. I think you are a very brave & strong. Well done!

Answer 4

I think that you should talk to your auntie first as she already knows that you know the truth. Ask her what she knows about the situation, why you were left etc.
Then i think you need to talk to your nan about it. I find it strange that your auntie would tell an 8 yr old something that earth-shattering never to mention it again, im sure she had her reasons but it is not responsible.
Family secrets like this can the whole family up inside, and i think you need to start discovering why. You have a right to know the truth and that you want your auntie and nans blessing to find out more, but if they wont give it then you need to way up what is more important to you.

Answer 5

your aunt should not have told you that....thats really vicious of her to tell you that...sit down and talk to your nan, this is obviously bothering you...so tell your nan what your aunt told you, there has to come a time for this to come out in the open...DO IT NOW...TALK WITH YOR NAN AND GET SOME ANSWERS...you have a right to know what happened with your real mother...as for your aunt, she is nothing but spiteful....