So I'm the maid of honor at my only sisters up coming wedding. I thought planning the Bachelortte Party would be easy. yeah i was wrong. The other bridesmaids are getting offended if i don't like thier ideas. Its not that i really don't like them its just there not what my sister wants. Now some of my friends are coming up to me and are like you need to be nicer to this person. The problem is my sister and i are friends with the same people and i'm younger then everyone. so they all treat me like there little sister and try to tell me what to do. Also my aunts and my mom want to come to the party which is being held at an irsh bar/club its my sisters fav. My mom has two drinks and she is all over the place. I asked my sister if she wanted them there and it was a big no. So now my aunts and friends are mad at me b/c i'm trying to what my sister wants. God frorbid someone actully did what the bride wanted. I also have girls calling me any telling me they can't pay for the limo.Help!
2007-03-14 05:54:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yikes. First of all, my sympathies!
The answer is simply two parties. One for the family, preferably at someone's home. If mom gets loud, make it her house. She can get loud all she wants. Invite family and make it an old fashion thing. Your sister can't realisticly expect your mother to be left out of her wedding. She has to make concessions.
The second party should be what you want to throw for her. The bride does not plan the shower/bachelorette party, the maid of honor does and you call the shots on that one. This is a party being thrown by someone other than the bride so she doesn't have any say. It is intended for female friends and kin to honor her before she becomes Mrs. so and so. Its a last fling, so let loose as much as possible. And don't worry about drama. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Nothing you can do to prevent all of it.
Good luck.
2007-03-14 06:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by morrowynd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should take a different attitude toward this bachelorette party -- and try to understand what the other attendants want and why. She's your sister and you may feel fine about spending a lot of money on her -- and maybe your financial resources are different. Consider the possibility that others might have less money or different priorities for spending it. Your sister can go to that Irish bar/club any time she wants -- it doesn't need to be for this event. Find a place where your mom can go and not embarrass anyone if she drinks too much and that doesn't cost more than the participants can afford. It should be about having fun for everyone there. The bride's big event is the wedding and she gets to call the shots there, not at this party you and her friends are throwing for her.
2007-03-14 06:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by Corinnique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the honour of planning my older sister's bachelorette party, and it turned out to be a great one, she loved it. Having the same situation as you, this is what I did:
I invited everyone to dinner to an Italian restaurant (which was my sister's favorite). There, all the girls (younger, older, aunts, moms, friends, everyone) got to chit chat, hang out, and eat dinner together as one party. Everyone was responsible for paying for their own meal. We had a few drinks, etc, took pictures and had a good time.
After that, the younger women all went to the Irish pub/bar (which was also my sister's favorite) and we proceeded to have a good time, while the older women simply went home. They didn't want to be at the bar anyways. I have been to smaller bachelorette parties where the mom's have been present, but they were good sports and were fine at the bar and not embarrasing.
You should really do what your sister would like. Don't go on the advice of everyone else, they will have their own bachelorette parties one day (maybe) and that is their time to have whatever they want.
Usually the Bridal Shower is aimed at including ALL the ladies, so that is the time to have the mom's and aunts and grandmas included... not usually at the bachelorette party.
This is your chance to throw a great party for your sister, it's about her. Although you have to please the guests, hopefully they have enough class to realize it is not for themselves.
If the girls can't afford to pay for the limo, then say "hopefully you will be able to find an alternate ride, because we'd love for you to come." Don't offer to pay, because you'll go broke.
You have to stick to your guns girl! Good luck.
2007-03-14 07:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
had the same problem when we had my sister in law's...
she wanted all of this stuff...limo's, expected us all to buy her drinks all nite, etc...well, my company was going thru a lay off period at that time, i am a single parent w/ no child support and i just couldn't afford to do what she wanted for her party, so i ended up not going at all...which put me at odds with my brother.
talk to your sister, find out what she wants, then find out what the others can afford and want to do. Yes, it is her wedding, and her last fling being single, but wouldn't she want the people that she cares about there? The wedding day is all about her...let everyone else have their fun too. I would also explain to her the why's as to why some people cannot chip in etc...maybe she just doesn't realize.
As far as the family goes, definately have two parties.
2007-03-14 07:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by Niffer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really are having a nightmare!!! I hope your sister's marriage sticks so you don't ever have to do this again!! Do what your sister wants, it's her wedding. When people tell you they don't like something let them know you are doing what the bride wants. When it is their wedding you will do what they want. Let the mom and aunt know that they are being taken out for a special night out so you can have a night to remember with just them..
2007-03-14 07:02:44 · answer #5 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't get how one could be an outstanding buddy with somebody for years, and not be responsive to how they are going to behave. Frankly, your first mistake replaced into "vowing" to be one yet another's MOH. Relationships exchange via the years, and basically because of the fact somebody is your BFF now does not mean which you are going to possibly not outgrow them some years later. and particularly, you will desire to have mentioned "no" while to procure a typed checklist of your duties. you will desire to have mentioned "Sorry, i don't sense that i will fulfill each and every thing which you're feeling a MOH would desire to do." i'm not sure how close it fairly is to the two of your weddings, however the dress project is a valid excuse to kick her out, and if this is not too on the ingredient of her wedding ceremony, you are able to bow out of that one too. basically say which you have not have been given sufficient money and time to do each and all of the issues she expects of you. confident, this is going to wreck the friendship. yet do you fairly must be friends with a guy or woman like that?
2016-12-19 05:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋