My ex and I broke up (his decision), but are still planning to attend an out-of-town wedding together in 6 weeks. I am a maid of honor, so we will be gone Fri-Sun.
I KNOW we won't have sex (we didn't when we were dating for faith reasons), but I am hoping that it will be a weekend for reconciliation for us. We still spend a lot of time together (3-4 days/week) and are good friends. I'm trying to give him space, because I believe he felt too much pressure in our relationship. We dated about 5 months, and he said that he didn't feel like he was falling in love with me. He is recently divorced and only in his early 20's. I am about 6 years older, and the parent of an 8 year old, so I have been more ready to settle down since the beginning.
Is this just wishful thinking to hope that when he begins to heal, he will realize what a great catch I am!?!
2007-03-14 05:31:45 · 12 answers · asked by loves2sing 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's either taking him or no one. I don't have another date that I would be comfortable with in a hotel, or that would want to eat his food selections! :-)
2007-03-14 05:32:28 · update #1
More details: He is already planning to go, and seems to want to. I am not pushing him into it. I am just wondering if there's a chance of something more going on.
Sidebar: Guys...many girls think weddings are really romantic, so if the situation was reversed, I would say that you have a pretty good shot at it. :-)
2007-03-14 05:50:59 · update #2
Go ahead and do it. Just don't put expectations on him or the weekend. Are you going to be ok if he dances or socializes with other women? Not to get your hopes up but I dated a friend and then broke it off because I was afraid it would ruin or close friendship if it ended bad...well seven years later I realized what I had given up and we are now engaged. During those 7 years we kept in touch but we both got married to other people and we each had 2 kids and ended up divorced. Everything fell together in its own time. If he would have pushed me in any way we wouldn't be together now. He gave me my space.
2007-03-14 05:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you say he said that he didn't feel like he was falling in love with you., and you broke -up (his decision).
As fickle as love is there's one thing about love that never changes and that is we do not pick and chose who we love, we have no say in the matter when our hearts start to miss a beat, when all we do is day dream of that special some one,. this guy is recently divorced...does not mean that he has no love for his ex-wife, and if is heart is still with his ex-wife then settling down with some -one else is probably the furthest thing in his mind right now. Stick to your plans of attending this wedding together, but to avoid disappointment don't have your hopes to high on a reconciliation, go to the wedding and enjoy yourself with out wondering "is he?..or isn't he?"
2007-03-14 05:53:01 · answer #2 · answered by untouchable.sensations 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As maid of honor, you're going to be plenty busy, and won't have time to spend with your date anyway. Just focus your time and attention on the bride. Her needs come before your love woes for this day. You don't really need a date - just use one of the groomsmen as your date/male escort/dance partner/etc.
If you really need someone to share the hotel room or meal or whatever, either bring your child, or a good (female) friend.
I think pushing this wedding would put too much pressure on your friendship with your ex, and would ruin any long-term chances for you.
2007-03-14 05:46:26 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a woman of faith you will have to have a bit of your own. Have some faith he will come around but do not sit around waiting for him. He is jsut recently divorced so it does take some time. Go to the wedding with him and enjoy yourself and see what happens next
2007-03-14 05:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy and relaxed together, why not? If it will make you unhappy and/or uncomfortable if things don't go as you want them to, then don't because it will be a whole lot of negativity to take to your friends wedding. I have been a Maid-of-Honor three times and not taken a date. Who cares? You might meet someone there.
2007-03-14 05:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go alone.
If you were dating for 5 months and he said he didn't feel like falling in love, you should respect that.
Don't push things to happen. The compromise is yours, being a maid of honor, not his.
There will be other chances for him to realize what you mean to him, but I don't think you should hurry things. So, go alone. It'll be good for you too. GOOD LUCK.
2007-03-14 05:44:14 · answer #6 · answered by SongMaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seam to me that u r the one that whats to go with him.
Yes stop lying to Ur self.
I been there done that; U know u will end up having sex. If u think he is good for u even after he told u, to give him space CZ of pressure please... He want to have his cake and eat it to he know u still have every strong feeling for him.
So what that u r older. He just got out of a marriage he want no commitment.
He is playing the field. If U r going to take him U need to Prepare ur self he is not going to go CZ he wants a new start he going for the F of it. and sex to.
If u r willing to do it with no strings Attached then go for it, but don't expect more. CZ there is no more Just SEX and Some friend ship.
Good luck.
2007-03-14 06:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by Natural 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope it would probably make him think that you want him back and it would be like wear a pair of shoes to a candle lite date instead of trying something new and you should go with some one eles who isn't your ex and just let him rest and go and find your own light in a different man
2007-03-14 05:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by Amy BUBBLE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a girlfriend! Weddings are great places to meet people, not to mention prospects. You don't want him to ruin your game by tagging along! And sometimes showing you'r over it, makes those men come running back. And should he ever want to get back with you later on, be open for it, but don't hope for it. You'll only set yourself up for dissapointment.
2007-03-14 05:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by MBN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the two of you are in total different places in life, maybe you should go by yourself, there's someone out there who will want to be with you and your child forever and I don't think its this guy.
2007-03-14 05:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋