I was trying to protect my son who is 4 yrs old by not telling anyone who his father was because his dad was my first bf to everything else and we were broken up when my son was made plus he had a new gf at the time.I was 19 yrs old was embarrassed/scared and did not want my child coming into the world with that kind of drama.My parents also hated my ex.bf guts and I made the choice to allow my parents to do most of my child raising for the first 3 yrs of his life while i was away at college.I met my hubby at college dated him for 2.5 yrs before getting married and have been married for 4 months.While at wedding run-through for one of my hubbys old friends from high school the groom turned out to be my sons bio-dad.It was a shock for me but i told this private info to my hubby who got angry.During a pre-wedding dinner my hubby got drunk and during a fight with me outside his friends mom heard everything .How can i tell him?
2007-03-14 05:31:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I dont want to screw up my ex.bf's wedding over this and have him hate or resent his son!But i have a bad feeling someone will say something.As it is my hubby and i are on the verge of divorce!
2007-03-14 05:35:33 · update #1
You dont have to tell him anything, if he comes to you and asks about it tell him otherwise theres no point. Even your ex can count months and years, if he counts back 4 years 9 months he knows hes the father and clearly doesnt care. Come on girls, dont act like men are stupid. You should be more concerned about how your husband acts.
2007-03-14 06:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband knew that the child came from somewhere.... He should be happy that you were honest and told him the truth. I have a feeling you shouldn't have told him that though. Oh well. You need to have a sit down with your husband and figure out a few things. First, you need to tell him that this is your secret to tell and if you don't want the bio-dad to know, he shouldn't find out. Second, you need to find a way to work past this in your relationship. Your son has a bio-dad and your husband knew that this guy was out here somewhere he either just didn't want to know who the fella was or is unhappy this is the guy.
2007-03-14 05:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband shouldn't be mad at you for things that happened before you met him, he knew you had a son, and you didn't know he was old friends with your ex. It's not your fault for wanting to do what you think is best, but right now, you have to reevaulate what you think is best, and just spill. Get it all out in one sentance and deal with the outcome.
You son already knows that your husband isn't his father, wouldn't you rather that he got to know him.
The easiest way is to tell him quickly. Like pulling off a bandaid. you never want to do that slowly.
2007-03-14 05:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by ☼Kristi L.☼ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to tell him, tell him. Eventually your son will find out and he might hate you for not telling him the truth. Your son has to be the one to make the decision if he wants to have a relationship with his dad or not.
2007-03-14 05:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him.. How would you feel if your mom kept it from you all these years and finally told you your dad wasn't your dad? There are certain things when he's older anyways that he'll NEED to know. Ie: healthwise,etc.. Good Luck to you & your current dh are you going through divorce because of this? HOW TERRIBLE! :(
2007-03-14 05:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by boxerlover_96 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i completely understand you not wanting to tell the bio-dad believe me but it is the right thing to do.
2007-03-14 05:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋