Ok 2 things
I have a genuine appreciation for the human form either male or female. So sometimes I just look to look. My guy seems to have a problem with this. But I explain that I'm not attracted to these people. I'm just looking. He seems to only be bothered when I look at men. But really. I find more women attractive than I find men attractive anyway.
Secondly I have always had good male friends. Genuine friends. I've always been treated as almost an honorary guy among them and they know I'm off limits. How can I get it through his head that I'm not flirting or doing anything beyond talking and hanging out.
I'm not a cheater and never will be. Is his anxiety justified or is he just paranoid?
2007-03-14 05:04:29 · 16 answers · asked by naztakuan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, it depends on how you check these people out. Is it stealing a glance or is your head turning every which way when you're out with him? If it's the second, then that is probably feeding your guy's insecurities. Be more discreet about it. But if he is having a major fit because you are looking at all (and you are doing it nicely) then it is HIS issue, not yours. Tell him to get a grip.
2007-03-14 05:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the real point here is not whether you are flirting or cheating or whatever... the point is that you are doing something that distresses your partner, and for that reason alone you should be willing to tone it down. Your intentions may be innocent, but the act itself is somewhat disrespectful (your attention is focused somewhere else instead of on the person you're with), so you should reconsider it in that light.
Also, your behavior with your guy friends falls under the "When Harry Met Sally" rule - YOU may have the purest of intentions and not have any sexual or romantic connection with your guy friends, and even if they totally respect your status as "taken" and an "honorary guy", your boyfriend, as a guy, knows that deep down every guy considers sleeping with his female friends at some point. In other words, just because you have pure intentions, doesn't mean the guys don't secretly have sexual intentions themselves. I'm sure your boyfriend trusts that you would never cheat, but the issue at stake is a little more subtle than that.
So, refrain from "looking" while you're with your boyfriend, and keep hanging out with your guy friends as usual, but respect your boyfriend's feelings, which are perfectly valid.
2007-03-14 05:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I don't believe that it is rude or wrong. There isn't anything that can be construed as 'cheating' either. Forget the prudish answers some may give and think for yourself. As long as it doesn't lead to anything else who cares.
Your guy probably is justified in all aspects though at the same time. Yes it is a bit on the insecure side but you can address that by merely doing whatever it takes to make him feel more stable in the relationship. If you're asking this of him be willing to invest the time necessary to strengthen the relationship FOR him as well.
Besides, sounds like he has one hell of a girlfriend as it is and he'd better get over any 'issues' early in this relationship because it'll only get worse for him as time goes by.
2007-03-14 05:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by saint_lee26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy is either insecure or knows if he had the gift of the gab like yourself he'd really be tempted to cheat. Tell him to get used to it cause its just who you are and either he trusts you or doesn't...its a good trait to be able to get along with people, he's not justified, he's paranoid.
2007-03-14 05:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Mangomum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to figure out how he feels, but if he doesn't trust you, do you really want to be in a relationship with him? If there is no trust, then there is no relationship. I know that this is hard and I am currently experiencing something like this in my life, but you need to take care of yourself. Don't give up your friends and your beliefs for him.
2007-03-14 05:09:09 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That age old female trait, of leaping to pointless conclusions. Or that's what you are able to call a woman EGO, that each boy in the international is in the back of their favors and we are purely a gaggle of bloody fools and that they are the neatest beings on the face of the planet.
2016-11-25 19:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess he probably wants to make sure that he dosn't loose you but everyone looks, he probably looks at females as well. As long as you are not doing anything to jepordize the relationship, I don't see anything wrong with it. He should trust that you are not going to cheat.
2007-03-14 05:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by kiesha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to have male friends. I have alot of male friends and my boyfriend does not get jelous, because he knows I am in love with him not the other person. How me and my boyfriend, we can look but not touch.
2007-03-14 05:09:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jill G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is noid it is 100 % normal to look at other people I bet he checks out women
2007-03-14 05:09:15 · answer #9 · answered by delmonticoman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. Looking at others while your attention should be on your partner is rude!
2007-03-14 05:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋