to make a long story short my baby daddy came over earlier and tried to haev sex with me and i tried to tell him no becuase i have a bf i really care about alot but my baby daddy still stuck it in me even tho i said stop and he didnt stop until he saw i was crying!! and now i dont know how to tell my bf im soooooo scared he will break up with me!! and also me and my bf were gonna have sex with eachother for the first time today.... and it waqs going to mean a lot to me because sex was never special for me but i hadnt had sex in a long time and i was kinda hoping that when me and my bf did it it would be special because he was the first guy i did it with for a long time.... and now its not going to be special and he might break up with me and im scared to tell him i dont know what to say!!! what if he thinks i wanted to or says its my fault? i cant quit crying im so scared he wont want to talk to me anymore! he means a lot to me!!! i really need to know what to do!!!
2007-03-14 04:52:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, what your ex did was not your fault - it was RAPE. You said no, you said stop, but he did it anyway - that is rape and you can't be blamed for it.
Tell your boyfriend what happened and tell him you didn't want to, you said no and tried to stop him, but that he raped you anyway. If your boyfriend is a decent man at all, he will believe and be on your side, and probably want to beat the living crap out of your ex.
You should also call the cops and report your ex - he needs to know that this sort of behavior is not okay, and carries consequences.
Don't worry, the first time with your boyfriend will still be special, because it will be the first time you've shared this with each other. And you'll have a special bond because THIS guy listens to you and respects you and cares about you, unlike your callous ex who only valued you for your body.
Take a few deep breaths and try to calm down, honey, it will be okay.
2007-03-14 05:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is rape and you've been violated. Report this and place a restraining order against him. Don't be alone with him ever again. This wasn't your fault.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You are a person who is worthy of respect and your boundaries need to be respected. You are a person who deserves love. Please get some counseling and work through this. Your bf will be hurt but I hope his love for you won't get in the way of your hurt. Whatever you do, don't let this go by without you doing something about it. Call a counselor now and if you haven't taken a shower then wait. You'll need evidence.
Lastly, there is nothing I can say or do to comfort you. You need to find someone you can trust and talk through this with you. Have your friend or family member walk through this with you right now. Get moving and take care of this.
2007-03-14 04:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
CALM DOWN! My first question to you is: Do you have any interest in your child's father? When I say interest I mean do you still think about him sometimes, are there any feeling left between you too, don't lie, because if there is any chemistry still there between you guys, your boyfriend will know and he won't believe you if you say that he tried to RAPE YOU, because that is what he did. So there for it wasn't your fault. Second question: What was he doing in the house, with you in your room or where ever you guys were? Did you let him in because you were glad to see him, or because he wanted to see the baby, you can lie to me but you can't lie to yourself, or your boyfriend because he will see right through it. Don't try and play him for a fool, the only way you can have a meaningful relationship with anyone is if you can be true to yourself, and the person your involved with. If you honestly didn't want anything to do with him and he pushed himself on you then it wasn't your fault, and if you explain that to your boyfriend, and your sincere he should understand that, and not blame you for the actions of your child's father. Honesty is your best solution. Believe me I know.
2007-03-14 05:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by sweetstlouis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT is rape. IF he didnt stop when you said stop then you need to do the proper thing and call the police. Tell your boyfriend make him sit down and explain EVERY detail to him AFTER you call the police. STAY away from your baby daddy. I know that sounds wrong.. but.. he's wrong for what he did.
2007-03-14 04:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to call the police and report that you have been raped.
If your bf really cares for you he will be sympathetic and want to care for you and comfort you. If he dumps you, he is only interested in himself and not good for you anyway. As for your baby's daddy, he needs to go to jail for what he did to you.
2007-03-14 04:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rickster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:( i'm sorry to hear what happened to you. why were you with your babies daddy anyways? i hope you two weren't hanging out. thats the first question your bf is going to ask you.."why were you to together?" and i hope the answer is something to do with the baby. tell him the truth. its the only way to get through things. if i learned one thing in my relationships, its...don't lie! communication is key. the only way you are gonna get through anything is telling him everything! yeah..he might be mad at first because you obviously slept with another guy. tell him that you didnt want to and he forced it on you. and if you have to....go to the cops. good luck, and i hope your bf understands.
2007-03-14 04:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did your baby daddy rape you? is that what you are saying? if that is the case then you need to report it to the police. and then tell you bf that you were raped and be honest. If you are saying that your baby daddy wanted to have sex with you and you weren't strong enough to tell him no and you gave in, then you need to tell your bf and be honest and deal with the consequences. bottom line you were either raped or just didn't stand your ground enough to tell baby daddy that you didn't want sex with him. Either way it happened. You can't take it back.
2007-03-14 04:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off u need to report ur baby daddy fr rape. and maybe its not cuas u hadnt had sex for a long time that would make it special but cuase of who u r with. and if he really does care for u he wouldnt leave u cuase ur ex forced himself on you.
2007-03-14 05:05:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me explain that you weren't raped. I'm terribly surprised that you are more focused on what your new boyfriend will think rather than what happened betwen you and your ex. If your new boyfriend cared about you he would understand but I think in some way you kind of had something to do with what happened. You should stop having sex until you are married that will cut off alot of your problems you are experiencing in life!
2007-03-14 05:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by Khalil 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell your bf what happened and if he really cares about you. He should have it in his heart to understand the situaition you was in. I should know because being a male myself. I understand perfectly,but that is me though.I wish you the best of luck in telling him in an easy way as possible.
2007-03-14 05:01:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋