My ex and i were together for a month short of 3 years but he decided he needed time out of the relationship indefinitely. That was 4months ago... we've been in touch on and off. He's gone through periods of calling everyday and then backing off and there being no contact at all. A couple of weeks ago he said he wants to see me... i suggested about an hour before he started work in the afternoon but he said no that he wanted to see me properly and "spend more time". So, we arranged next week... but again, he's not been in touch at all for a week.... what does this mean? I'm baffled. I even told him i was leaving his life but he stopped me... so if he doesn't wanna be without me, why the lack of contact? And if he wants to see me, why isn't he in touch regularly? I'm confused?!.... someone please shed some light! xxx
2007-03-14 04:39:20 · 6 answers · asked by gorgeous_ami 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When he calls everyday + then doesn't call for weeks.
It means he's scared of getting close to you again. Maybe he's confused himself about what he wants. Maybe he's jjust to proud to admit that he still wants you.
Or maybe he's just like everyother guy + is realising that he can't get anyone better than you, so he's come crawling back.
It should be YOU in control not him.
Keep him on his toes.
When he asks to meet say 'Sorry. I've arranged to go out with some of my friends. Maybe another time? I'll ring you'
Then don't call for a week or two.
That'll keep him guessing.
xxxx
2007-03-14 04:44:44 · answer #1 · answered by Samie F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He does sound confused. I think I'd ask him point blank if he expected me to play the role of the 'girl waiting in the wings' in the events his other plans don't work out. He's not being attentive and could be pursuing any number of other things (and/or women). I don't think you should let him off the hook too easily. As it stands now, he is emotionally unavailable and your needs aren't being met. Whatever is going on is more likely his problem or about his own issues, but you're the one that may feel the impact or negative consequences in this scenario. You probably know him pretty well and are aware of what is 'normal behavior' for him....so be cautious when making decisions that are in your own best interest. Good Luck
2007-03-14 04:46:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex hasn't decided what he wants to do about you. He wants to see you, but then he's not sure. He cares for you, but then he doesn't. He's seeing someone else, which makes it even more confusing for him, because he's not sure he wants to be with you at all. In short, he doesn't want to make a mistake; so he wants to keep you hanging on until he figures it out. If that's the way you want to live your life, so be it. Otherwise, stop playing his game.
If you really want to talk to this guy, make one more arrangement to see him. If he doesn't follow through, you need to tell him that you're no longer interested and get on with your life. If he decides later that he wants you back, you can decide if you want to take him back (if you're still available at the time).
2007-03-14 05:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has deppression issues giving him low esteem , I suffer from this and my defense mechanism makes me close the curtains, lock the door and batten down the hatches and I dont speak with anyone until I feel I can get a grip of "it" again and rejoin society at which point I feel guilt , I feel stupid and I dont like myself much , what you describe details what I go through. On the other hand he may be angling for a relationship that suits his needs which may or may not fufill yours. Hope this was of some help.
2007-03-14 04:50:57 · answer #4 · answered by Paul Sabre 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a relationship breaks up it can be hard to let go. And this guy wants to have his cake and eat it.
He knows that in you he has a person who thinks he is incredibly special and is his number one fan - how attractive is that as an option when he is bored, fed up or feeling sorry for himself? then when he feels better he gets on with his own independnt life he was so keen to have.
Ask him, make sure there is no underlying reason for his reticence and then move on.
2007-03-14 05:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by Tickle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is using you when he wants you he may be seeing someone else how do you know, the thing is your not happy and don,t like being treated like this so i would tell him i am not available and too busy, don,t be so available to him ignore him serves him right. he knows he can just pick you up and put you down again when he wants and dont, let him
2007-03-14 05:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by denny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋