Parents: HELP!!!!?

Question

Parents: HELP!!!!?
How do i deal with my mom being so strict my curfew is 5 and i cant hang out on fridays and saturdays at 10 its just so un fair i always have to lie to my mom if i want to go somewhere what do i do and sometimes my step dad is mean to me also my mom has temper problems cuz wen i come in 1 minute late she freaks the high schol calls to tell her how well im doing she yells at me wat do i do wat do i do !!!!!!!!!




How do i deal with my mom being so strict my curfew is 5 and i cant hang out on fridays and saturdays at 10 its just so un fair i always have to lie to my mom if i want to go somewhere what do i do and sometimes my step dad is mean to me also my mom has temper problems cuz wen i come in 1 minute late she freaks the high schol calls to tell her how well im doing she yells at me wat do i do wat do i do !!!!!!!!! i am 15 going on 16 also i do listen to her all the time and i am nice to her but sometimes wen she yells at me i give her a little !?!?!?!?! bahahaha

Answer 1

Your problems start with you. You lie to your mom about where and when and whatever else; do you think she's stupid? You're not trustworthy, so of course she's going to be strict! You need to EARN the privilege of staying out later or being with your friends on the weekends.

Take it from one who lived in an ULTRA-conservative household, since you're living under your parents' roof and they pay for EVERYTHING, you pretty much need to do what they say when they say it.

If you can prove yourself to be a good and honest person, then maybe you might get a little more leniency. Till then, you're stuck.

Answer 2

You do not mention your age. Most parents base the curfew on how trustworthy the child has proved to be. You admit that you have lied and went places without their knowledge. If you know that your curfew is five and being late upsets them, then why are you even one minute late? Live by the rules and show that you are responsible enough to handle them. Then once you have done that then you need to discuss with your parents in a calm rational manner that you would like to adjust the curfew by a little bit and work your way up to later hour. Don't expect them to give it to you all at one time.

Answer 3

This is difficult not knowing you or your parents, but I'll try.

First, a note of caution -
Your parents are, of course, in charge. So, ultimately they make the decisions. If they discover that you're lying to them, they're not going to trust you and will feel quite justified in restricting what you do. They figure if you're not responsible enough to follow rules, they'll need to be stricter in enforcing them.

My recommendation for you is to show that you are maturing as a person. Sit down with them and ask them why they feel it's a good idea for you to have these hours - make it a genuine question and not an accusing one. I bet they've thought about it! (We don't just make up rules to be mean. ;-) ). Ask them if there's anything that you can do to earn the right to extend your curfew. If they go for it, make sure and honor that agreement without complaint. If they don't, accept it and consider asking again in a few months. Also, be ready to answer about the types of things you want to do that you feel you need to be out later for. Now, based on history, they're probably going to read a lot into what you say and may react negatively at first. Roll with it and don't yell back. Try to be level headed. It counts for a lot.

Final thought. The world of a teenager these days is very disconcerting for their parents. I've spoken to plenty of kids who don't even feel safe in their school. As a parent, we want to find the right balance between "letting go" and keeping our kids safe. It's difficult for us too; and admittedly, we don't always react in the best manner (i.e. we yell). As a young person and as an adult, we have to learn to work well with others. This may be an opportunity for you to exercise that skill.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm 21, not a parent, but can tell you how to get closer to what you want......you need to show her you are responsible enough to handle your 10 oclock cerfew like a grown up and quit whining about it. Whining won't get you anywhere, adn its not unfair that you have to be in at that time, its your mothers rules and as long as she is payin your way you don't have to like it but you do have to respect it. Quit lying to her, she's not gonna trust you and extend your curfew if you lie. Abide by her rules for a while (and I mean more than a couple weeks) and approach her in a calm, grown-up fashion and see if she can bump it back to 11, take baby steps, if you shoot for no curfew at all your not gonna get anywhere, live with 11 for a while and then ask for later. chill on the drama, your soap opera is a bit annoying...

Answer 5

This is difficult not knowing you or your parents, but I'll try.

First, a note of caution -
Your parents are, of course, in charge. So, ultimately they make the decisions. If they discover that you're lying to them, they're not going to trust you and will feel quite justified in restricting what you do. They figure if you're not responsible enough to follow rules, they'll need to be stricter in enforcing them.

My recommendation for you is to show that you are maturing as a person. Sit down with them and ask them why they feel it's a good idea for you to have these hours - make it a genuine question and not an accusing one. I bet they've thought about it! (We don't just make up rules to be mean. ;-) ). Ask them if there's anything that you can do to earn the right to extend your curfew. If they go for it, make sure and honor that agreement without complaint. If they don't, accept it and consider asking again in a few months. Also, be ready to answer about the types of things you want to do that you feel you need to be out later for. Now, based on history, they're probably going to read a lot into what you say and may react negatively at first. Roll with it and don't yell back. Try to be level headed. It counts for a lot.

Final thought. The world of a teenager these days is very disconcerting for their parents. I've spoken to plenty of kids who don't even feel safe in their school. As a parent, we want to find the right balance between "letting go" and keeping our kids safe. It's difficult for us too; and admittedly, we don't always react in the best manner (i.e. we yell). As a young person and as an adult, we have to learn to work well with others. This may be an opportunity for you to exercise that skill.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i think that you should explain to your mom that you are 15 going on 16 and that you should have a later curfew considering that you 15 my ex-friend had a deal with her parents that the older she got the later her curfew is mine is early but whatever so yours would perhaps would be 10:00 - 11:00 you know something kinda late have a talk is always what i suggest for anything

Answer 7

Why do teenagers complain about thier parents caring about them? The limits your parents set are there because they love you. If they didn't give a d*mn about you, they wouldn't care where you went, who with, what you did, or when you came home!

Appreciate that your mother and stepfather love you enough to set limits.

I have two sons, age 15 and 17. Their weekday curfew is also 5. No phone calls between 5 and 7 (applies to all members of the household - allows us to have family dinners). 15-year-old has 10 curfew on Fri/Sat, and 17 year-old has 11 curfew Fri/Sat. They don't seem to have a problem with it.....

Answer 8

As parents, we know what it's like out there. Her being so strict is her way of protecting you the only way she knows how. If you prove to her at home that you are mature enough to handle yourself outside the home, then maybe she'll cut you some slack. Try acting more responsible for youself and when you are home be as helpful as possible. My daughter at your age had this all figured out already and did alot of butt kissing to stay out past curfew. Also, try to calmly talk to your Mom and Dad to see what they are afraid will happen to you and try to reassure them. Remember they're only trying to protect you, they obviously love you very much! Good Luck...

Answer 9

I am sorry you are not getting along with your mother and father. have you ever got caught lieing to her. If you were my daughter I would also have to be strict with you if I could not trust you. If your mother has caught you lieing to her. YOu blew her trust. YOu are still only 15 and bad things can happen to you. Oh I know you are saying they wont. but they can.

Where would you be then. How do you mean your step father is mean to you. What is your definition of mean. You should talk to your school counselor. May be you need some counceling.

Answer 10

i'm not allowed to hang out with my friends on school nights, and can only talk on the phone for 30 to my boyfriend, or anyone for that matter... your actually kinda of lucky to me

but you should just sit her down adn talk to her about what you think you can handle, and what you think should be done about it. but take babysteps... like dont say right away that you should be able to go out whenever you want to, insetead say something like "i think i'm ready to be able to have a later curfew to like 7 or 8 and i will call and check in while i'm away" that way, she will be more comfortable knowing that you ok if you call, and you will have a little later curfew..

hope it helps.. and good luck