I received a txt of him the other day saying " are you coming back online sexy?" i know it was not for me beacsue he knew i was at my mum's work, he told me it was a girl he knew from along time ago that he met online, he told me he has never met up with her before, and he didn't mean to send it. he doesn't have much time free, because he is with me most days, but could he be having a relationship with this girl online? i know it happens and is this cheating? I might just be being silly but i have doubts whether or not he would cheat.
2007-03-14 04:20:53 · 24 answers · asked by xStacex 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi,
I'd be very worried about this. I've been cheated on by my ex, took him back, and then he started talking to a girl online and texting her. He didn't physically cheat on me with that one, but in my book that was that. I got rid of him there and then.
In contrast, my current boyfriend had a habit of talking to girls online when we first met. He had been single for a long time and did it because he had no-one else. He saw it as the equivalent of looking at porn. He said it didn't mean anything to him. He didn't speak to any of them on the phone, except for one girl. He would get phone calls from her late at night, texts asking when they were going to meet up and once got a letter from her. As soon as I found out, I told him he was out of order and he had a choice to make. It seemed it was hard for him to break the habit, but after a few months and me finally almost walking out on him, he deleted this girl's number and (as far as I know) everything's been fine since. He will readily say now (three years later) that he was being an idiot, and it was just a habit that had spilled over from his single life. So if you've just got together, he may not see as being a big deal. However, you need to tell him you're not prepared for it and give him an ultimatum.
However, I think it's only forgiveable when they are ONLY speaking online. If he also texts this girl, it suggests that there has been, is, or will be more to it. This could still be forgiveable, but it is more concerning.
Just because a man talks to someone online doesn't mean they will cheat. It's just a bit of fun for some men, and they don't think it will hurt their girlfriend. But because he has this girl's number, and he's known her for a long time, I would be very wary.
He may not cheat on you, but it sounds as if they are having some conversations online that you would definitely not want to read.
I think you need to take a break from this guy and tell him that calling another girl 'sexy' and flirting with her online is not on. If they are only online friends, why does he need her number?
If he really cares for you, he'll beg you to take him back and promise never to do it again. At the very least, if there's nothing in it, he'll take the time to explain what's going on. If he's just brushing it off, he's up to no good - and he knows it.
So my view is that he's not necessarily going to cheat, but you should be very cautious and take a step back. If you've been going out for a long time, it's even more out of order. Get him to explain himself sufficiently, or leave him for a little while.
If you live together or visit his place a lot and he says he won't speak to this girl anymore, or says it's innocent, here's what you do.... download a key-stroke tracker onto his pc (type 'key stroke tracker' into Google). Then you'll see exactly what he's been typing. I don't care if it's an invasion of his privacy - there should be nothing that he NEEDS to keep private from you.
Don't let yourself get hurt and don't miss the warning signs!
I hope this helps
xx Emmie
2007-03-14 04:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something similar happened to me. My fiance had an internet "girlfriend". They would talk online about inappropriate things, and they'd text throughout the day. As soon as I found out, I talked to him about it. Previous to our relationship, he had not had a girlfriend in nearly 4 years. He just had a thing with a bunch of random online women. Although he knew it was wrong and made him feel guilty and upset, it was just a hard habit for him to break. It took a little while, but we got over it.
As for it being cheating, that depends on you guys. I considered it cheating, and that is why I was so hurt by it. But we got over it, and everything ended well. I trust him more now than I ever have. Hopefully, you'll get through this, too. But he is definitely up to no good online right now!
2007-03-14 04:26:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends what you consider 'cheating'.. It sounds as if it is through online chat at the moment, and if he doesnt have much spare time then thats probably all it is. But what would happen if he had a day to himself? Would you worry what he was up to? I think that if he is texting a girl and refering to her as that, and chatting on the net, then to me that is already cheating as in personal experience Bf's dont call other people sexy! And if it is just a friend from the past why wasnt he open about it? It may just be harmless fun and thats the way your bf talks refers to girls, but relationships are built on trust, so you need to talk this out with him asap!
2007-03-14 04:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally think that you are not being silly a tip is never trust everything men say i think that there is a possibility that he could be having a realationship with another girl if he accidently sent that then that should give you a clue to you that there is a possibility i am not positive if it is considered cheating but if it is an online realationship then i suppose it could be considered a realationship
2007-03-14 04:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by girlsrulejenna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be it sounds strange to me, if you have doubts then it will never work for the both of you trust is one of the most important things in a relationship
2007-03-14 04:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had many internet flirts till I met my boyfriend and dropped them all,keeping in touch with them would have meant "having some back-up plan" to me, like sparing them on the side just in case...would have meant not having any faith in the relationship...
2007-03-14 04:45:18 · answer #6 · answered by valerie_adele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not trust him, I believe it is cheating. And I have done it, dont leave him just yet, but why dont you change all the girls numbers on his phone to yours (or ge a different number and change it to that) to see what he texts to who?
If he isnt cheating, then you will be buggered
2007-03-14 04:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by natasha * 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 18:44:33 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys have 3 states of mind - they are cheating, they are thinking about cheating or they are thnking about the consequesnces of cheating. Good luck.
2007-03-14 04:26:58 · answer #9 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being sneaky drop this weasel.
They will be talking about naughty things while you aren't there and he will probably be touching himself looking at pictures shes has sent him
2007-03-14 04:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by Barry Von Leotard III 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋